My mother has financial problems, she's 20k in debt and she asked me to help. At the moment I have about 150k (from poker) saved at the bank and I have no project or big purchase planned for the near future so giving my mother 20k wouldnt hurt me at all, but ****! 20k is almost an average yearly income and it's a **** load of hours of poker and painful variance.
It's crazy because I always thought if one day one of my parents would ask me for money I would love it, I would feel on top of the world but it actually felt gross when my mon asked me to help her, she looked like a desperate tramp to me. I felt sorry for her. You have to have no dignity, self esteem to ask your son for money right ?
But at the same time she's my mother, I love her and she never refused me anything (reasonable) I guess that explains how she got in debt, she can't say no.

What would you do if you were in my shoes ? Accept helping her or not ? If yes, donation or loan ? With or whitout interest ? Consult a specialist to fight selfishness ?

i would be glad to offer advice. i got out of debt just before my divorce and i might be able to offer some insight. i just dont want to put any info in here that might be too private for you.
feel free to pm me.

Loaning family and friends money rarely ends well.

If I were in your shoes, I'd give it to her as a donation... Think of all the time and money she has spent on you. If you respect her at all as your mother.....

Hmm. Interesting situation original poster. I believe to get the best information possible you will need to submit photographs of the accused beggar.


cliffs: PICS OF MOM

lol gfy dickhead. if you were steadily doing well the honorable thing would have been to help her out before **** got too serious for her to handle.

The thing is, this 20k isn't really going to be much more than a band-aid. If she sucks this much at finances, then she will just revert back into more debt. Figure out some other way to help her if you must but don't just hand her cash.

I think you should give her the 20k and apologize to her for taking so long.

Then I think you should look at yourself in the mirror and think real hard about how much of a scumbag you are. This also goes for anyone who thinks along the same lines as you.

It's different if it's a friend or even a sibling, but its your MOTHER, and you have 150k. People like you really make me ill. If I had 0 I'd go into debt for my mother. You have to come to the internet and then have the audacity to think about loaning it to her with interest?

Seriously?

I would snap give her it as a donation. (Barring she got into debt through drugs, bad habbits, etc.)

It's your mother; think of all the money she's given to you over the years.

theres more to this than just giving her the 20k. theres also keeping it from happening again plus several other detailed issues with the specific debts

This could be a classic case of

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime

Teach your mum to manage money bro. How does she get 20k in debt? It'll be bad knowing she can use you for a bail out next time if it happens again

You should def give her the money (debt free) but also get a closer look at finances and find out what went wrong

correct detonator but more than that are future financial goals and specific strategies for each debt.

she might not even need the money yet. it might just seem overwhelming to her.

man what the **** is wrong with you. don't call your mother a tramp you POS, she raised you and said that she'd do anything for you. like wil said stop being such a selfish prick. its your mom, dude. she spent wayyyyyyyyyyyy more than 20k raising your ass.

WTF is this world coming to when someone has to not only ponder it, but go on the internet to solicit advice on whether or not they should help their own mother out?

this to a tee... wow

life is about money, not family. i'd add interest if i loaned, but i would not.

I think I wanna puke.

Give your mom the money.

if he just gives it to her he is just throwing it away without really helping her cause she will be right back where she started.

just like joey knish and mike mcd

give it to her. consider it a write off. If she pays you back... fine... But dont ask for it... that will cause problems in the long run.

douche, she looked after you and wiped your ass, be a son and help her out.

douche bag

op should definitely help (give her the money) but he also needs to find out why shes in debt and help fix that issue as well if possible. like if shes a drug addict dont just feed her addiction.

Just give her the money ****.

this^^^^^

a lot of people in here who doesnt look into the future.

as someone else pointed out, you give her the 20k now, shes going to look at you as bail out and given how bad she is with finances, shes going to keep guilting you into bailing her out until youre broke yourself.

i wouldnt loan without a time line or interest due to the high risk of not being repaid. her being your mother really does not matter.

thats pretty foolish thinking.