A serious solution, since this thread offers no useful advice so far.

mbillie1's diarrhea recipe: 100% full proof

1) night before test, at approximately 6 pm, eat the following taco bell menu items: chicken fiesta burrito, cheesy fiesta potatos, 2x nachos with cheese, 2x beef soft tacos

2) at approximately 8 pm that same night, consume the following: 4x 12oz bottles of guinness, followed by 4x bottles of corona, followed by 2x shots of tequila, 2x shots of jameson (or soco/lime), 2x shots of dr mcguillicutty, then 2x dos equis amber

3) at approximately 1-5 am, depending on how fuct you are, order a large thin crust dominos pizza with pepperoni, onion, green peppers and olives. mix ranch dressing with frank's red hot hot sauce, dip pizza in this sauce

4) at 5-6 am, drink 3-4 cans/bottles of bud light, as it's the only crap beer you can find in your fridge (arrange for this beforehand; anticipation is the key to ensuring a successful bout of diarrhea)

5) masturbate furiously watching disgusting fetish porn before sleep.

6) wake up at 10-11 am, go DIRECTLY to doctor. don't piss when you wake up, as it's very probable that poo will just fall out at the slightest sensation of waste release

7) smoke 2-3 cigarettes on the way over, drink a red bull and a 20oz mountain dew

8) voila: diarrhea the likes of which thou hast never known before

this will work.
also, drink as much milk as you can.
like when yur body says no, drink one more bag.

[/quote]

Wait, did you say a bag of milk? Where the [censored] do you live where they sell you milk in bags?

This thread is really brutal

Taco bell, coffee, and cigarettes

Try that new drug JENKEM

This ruins everything from blind dates to job interviews

Also, maybe you should save your [censored] and donate it to jenkem users

Who buys milk by the bag?

actually having diarrhea is pretty worthless with getting a doctors note, your gp aint gonna check your underwear for skidmarks. doctors dont care about diarrhea, they jsut wanna write you a note so you [censored] off, no one wants to hang around someone who cant control their bowels.. jsut go to the doc and youll be out in less than 2minutes with a crisp note

maybe try insomnia? i got drugs and stuff for that and the doc didnt do any tests apart from jsut asking me questions and normal stuff. pretty sweet excuse if you ask me

Drink a lot of Budweiser. You'll be producing some "Bud Mud" in no time.

How has this not been said, 100% effective for me.

Ty for all the responses. TR due tomorrow afternoon to you fine gents.

TO THOSE WHO DOUBT MY BAGGED MILK:

THE BAG:


so this is the bag, you take it out, and put it in...

THE PLASTIC JUG:


once inside this jug, you cut a corner off the bag.

OP, drink 3 Bags, which is 4 litres, or a gallon for the americans, and you'll about as unhappy as this dude:

have you tried mothballs?

just read the help me with my ipod thread. you'll want to [censored] everywhere

warm milk and laxatives..have fun

I'm pretty sure milk in a bag only comes if you buy it with food stamps.

I'm sick of all these how can I make diarrhea threads

Couple spoons full of Epsom salts and glass of water. Do two and you will be cleeeeeeeeeeeeeaned out :-))