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Old 11-09-2007, 03:47 AM   #1
chrismystero
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How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Wasn't sure to post this in Student Life or BBV. I made the right choice imo.

Anyways, I have a history of deferring (chosing not to write) tests when I'm not prepared for them. Everytime I go the doctor marks on the note I had limitted symptoms and can't be good for my record. So I have to defer a test I have on Saturday. I feel like it's necessary I actually get an illness so he can have some findings this time. I chose diarrhea. I'm going to go get the Doctor's note at about 10:00am Saturday morning.

The question:

When and what should I do to get diarrhea at the perfect time for my plan?

Do me well, BBV.
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:48 AM   #2
hanover
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

bad chicken imo
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:50 AM   #3
Chaos_ult
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Coming from a person who used to ditch middle/highschool ALL the time (I became known as the person who never went to school), trust me, if you go to the doctor, you really don't need to have any real symptoms.

A good one to use is you have really really really bad migraines that are horribly distracting.

As long as you have that doctors' note, you're golden.
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:50 AM   #4
prodonkey
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

If I wanted 100% sure.. I'd eat 2 chipotle burritos in a day.
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:51 AM   #5
Golden_Rhino
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Drink some castor oil. you'll puke and look like death.
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:52 AM   #6
FoolyCooly
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

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Old 11-09-2007, 03:52 AM   #7
chrismystero
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Quote:
Coming from a person who used to ditch middle/highschool ALL the time (I became known as the person who never went to school), trust me, if you go to the doctor, you really don't need to have any real symptoms.

A good one to use is you have really really really bad migraines that are horribly distracting.

As long as you have that doctors' note, you're golden.
If I used this is there any analysis a Doctor can do to discover I'm lying?
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:53 AM   #8
johnnylovescandy
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

diarrhea = illness??? I have diarrhea every day and feel fine...
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:53 AM   #9
GTBMuckface
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Quote:

this will work.
also, drink as much milk as you can.
like when yur body says no, drink one more bag.
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:53 AM   #10
Chaos_ult
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Nope.

The beauty is in it's simplicity.
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:53 AM   #11
tarheeljks
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

just drink a bunch of laxatives. try not to kill yourself
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:55 AM   #12
chrismystero
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

To the person who mentioned milk:

I have drank a lot of milk at times and felt horrible. On top of that my milk is expired...seems like icing on the cake. Hmm...I could eat a lot of that too.
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:57 AM   #13
johnnylovescandy
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

make up a phony doctors note then wipe your ass on it.
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:57 AM   #14
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

or wipe a nearby dog's ass on it. you'll feel fine.
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:58 AM   #15
highsteptd
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

go to mexico
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Old 11-09-2007, 03:58 AM   #16
jamesonpeter
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Quote:
To the person who mentioned milk:

I have drank a lot of milk at times and felt horrible. On top of that my milk is expired...seems like icing on the cake. Hmm...I could eat a lot of that too.
should work imo

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Old 11-09-2007, 03:59 AM   #17
KhalynYohrk
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Throw some chilli down your pants on the way to class
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Old 11-09-2007, 04:11 AM   #18
chrismystero
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Quote:
Coming from a person who used to ditch middle/highschool ALL the time (I became known as the person who never went to school), trust me, if you go to the doctor, you really don't need to have any real symptoms.

A good one to use is you have really really really bad migraines that are horribly distracting.

As long as you have that doctors' note, you're golden.
I'm going to harass you once more. When you used this method, what kind of details do you provide? I don't wanna [censored] this up. We both know there is a lot of questions about your symptoms, time it started, etc. If possible provide me a brief speech.
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Old 11-09-2007, 04:16 AM   #19
getterdone36
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

gotta use epikak insta puke
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Old 11-09-2007, 04:16 AM   #20
hosstito
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Quote:
this will work. also, drink as much milk as you can.
like when yur body says no, drink one more bag.
milk comes in.....bags? milk comes in cartons and jugs afaik.
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Old 11-09-2007, 04:32 AM   #21
SABR42
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Quote:
milk comes in.....bags? milk comes in cartons and jugs afaik.
Milk in small bags is pretty standard in some places.
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Old 11-09-2007, 04:50 AM   #22
Halfpoint
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

go to casino and stick the chips in your mouth. One of the millions of bacteria will make you sick.
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Old 11-09-2007, 09:37 AM   #23
Lazy Meatball
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Serious answer: Lactulose is used to treat constipation and in high enough doses is known to cause abdominal cramping, flatulence, and diarrhea. I believe it's commercially available without a prescription.

Still, how do you expect diarrhea to add more credibility to your illness? Do you plan on having the diarrhea in front of your doctor?, or just by letting it dehydrate you until you are physically ill.

Also, don't wear your favorite pair of pants that day you try this.
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Old 11-09-2007, 09:53 AM   #24
diebitter
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

drink someone elses' sticky brown ass-piss. That'll fix you right up.
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Old 11-09-2007, 09:58 AM   #25
diebitter
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Re: How can I make myself get diarrhea?

Here's what you do

1) Buy a big tub of peanut butter
2) Just before the test, pad your ass crack with peanut butter
3) As you go into the test, grab your stomach and groan loudly, then contort like you just [censored] yourself.
4) Put your hand down the back of your trousers, and pull out some peanut butter so you have a ton of witnesses
5) Eat it so everyone who wants out can pretend to puke.
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