How can I make myself get diarrhea? - BBV4Life -- Two Plus Two Poker Forums

Wasn't sure to post this in Student Life or BBV. I made the right choice imo.

Anyways, I have a history of deferring (chosing not to write) tests when I'm not prepared for them. Everytime I go the doctor marks on the note I had limitted symptoms and can't be good for my record. So I have to defer a test I have on Saturday. I feel like it's necessary I actually get an illness so he can have some findings this time. I chose diarrhea. I'm going to go get the Doctor's note at about 10:00am Saturday morning.

The question:

When and what should I do to get diarrhea at the perfect time for my plan?

Do me well, BBV.

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11-09-2007 , 03:48 AM

hanover

journeyman

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 256

bad chicken imo

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11-09-2007 , 03:50 AM

Chaos_ult

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 9,050

Coming from a person who used to ditch middle/highschool ALL the time (I became known as the person who never went to school), trust me, if you go to the doctor, you really don't need to have any real symptoms.

A good one to use is you have really really really bad migraines that are horribly distracting.

As long as you have that doctors' note, you're golden.

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11-09-2007 , 03:50 AM

prodonkey

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 14,597

If I wanted 100% sure.. I'd eat 2 chipotle burritos in a day.

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11-09-2007 , 03:51 AM

Golden_Rhino

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 9,056

Drink some castor oil. you'll puke and look like death.

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11-09-2007 , 03:52 AM

FoolyCooly

adept

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 740

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11-09-2007 , 03:52 AM

chrismystero

veteran

Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,443

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If I used this is there any analysis a Doctor can do to discover I'm lying?

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11-09-2007 , 03:53 AM

johnnylovescandy

veteran

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,051

diarrhea = illness??? I have diarrhea every day and feel fine...

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11-09-2007 , 03:53 AM

GTBMuckface

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,671

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this will work.
also, drink as much milk as you can.
like when yur body says no, drink one more bag.

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11-09-2007 , 03:53 AM

#10

Chaos_ult

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 9,050

Nope.

The beauty is in it's simplicity.

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11-09-2007 , 03:53 AM

#11

tarheeljks

The Dark Knight

Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 37,654

just drink a bunch of laxatives. try not to kill yourself

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11-09-2007 , 03:55 AM

#12

chrismystero

veteran

Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,443

To the person who mentioned milk:

I have drank a lot of milk at times and felt horrible. On top of that my milk is expired...seems like icing on the cake. Hmm...I could eat a lot of that too.

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11-09-2007 , 03:57 AM

#13

johnnylovescandy

veteran

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,051

make up a phony doctors note then wipe your ass on it.

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11-09-2007 , 03:57 AM

#14

johnnylovescandy

veteran

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,051

or wipe a nearby dog's ass on it. you'll feel fine.

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11-09-2007 , 03:58 AM

#15

highsteptd

old hand

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,691

go to mexico

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11-09-2007 , 03:58 AM

#16

jamesonpeter

newbie

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 48

Quote:

To the person who mentioned milk:

I have drank a lot of milk at times and felt horrible. On top of that my milk is expired...seems like icing on the cake. Hmm...I could eat a lot of that too.

should work imo

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11-09-2007 , 03:59 AM

#17

KhalynYohrk

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,585

Throw some chilli down your pants on the way to class

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11-09-2007 , 04:11 AM

#18

chrismystero

veteran

Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,443

Quote:

I'm going to harass you once more. When you used this method, what kind of details do you provide? I don't wanna [censored] this up. We both know there is a lot of questions about your symptoms, time it started, etc. If possible provide me a brief speech.

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11-09-2007 , 04:16 AM

#19

getterdone36

dreaming of sheeps

Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 18,470

gotta use epikak insta puke

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11-09-2007 , 04:16 AM

#20

hosstito

adept

Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 942

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this will work. also, drink as much milk as you can.
like when yur body says no, drink one more bag.

milk comes in.....bags? milk comes in cartons and jugs afaik.

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11-09-2007 , 04:32 AM

#21

SABR42

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 23,008

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milk comes in.....bags? milk comes in cartons and jugs afaik.

Milk in small bags is pretty standard in some places.

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11-09-2007 , 04:50 AM

#22

Halfpoint

old hand

Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,401

go to casino and stick the chips in your mouth. One of the millions of bacteria will make you sick.

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11-09-2007 , 09:37 AM

#23

Lazy Meatball

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 7,173

Serious answer: Lactulose is used to treat constipation and in high enough doses is known to cause abdominal cramping, flatulence, and diarrhea. I believe it's commercially available without a prescription.

Still, how do you expect diarrhea to add more credibility to your illness? Do you plan on having the diarrhea in front of your doctor?, or just by letting it dehydrate you until you are physically ill.

Also, don't wear your favorite pair of pants that day you try this.

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11-09-2007 , 09:53 AM

#24

diebitter

Grotesquely Handsome

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 65,701

drink someone elses' sticky brown ass-piss. That'll fix you right up.

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11-09-2007 , 09:58 AM

#25

diebitter

Grotesquely Handsome

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 65,701

Here's what you do

1) Buy a big tub of peanut butter
2) Just before the test, pad your ass crack with peanut butter
3) As you go into the test, grab your stomach and groan loudly, then contort like you just [censored] yourself.
4) Put your hand down the back of your trousers, and pull out some peanut butter so you have a ton of witnesses
5) Eat it so everyone who wants out can pretend to puke.

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