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Old 07-08-2009, 10:35 PM   #1
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Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

About 3 weeks ago, I moved into a temporary apartment with 5 other people: an alcoholic 47 year old white guy, 2 19 y/o Russian chicks, and 2 19 y/o Jamaican chicks. About 5 days in, I was sleeping with one of the Jamaicans. Sort of. Actually, after the sex, I was kicking her out of my bed and telling her to go back to her own f-ing room. (It's a small bed, I need my space if I'm going to get some sleep, and this selfish bitch only lives like 20 feet away. It's not like I was asking her to drive home or something.)

A few days ago, I broke it off. The sex was no longer worth having to apologize after every little argument and when you are living and sleeping with a spoiled little brat like her, there are a lot of arguments.

Tonight was the first time we had an argument after we stopped sleeping together. Because there was no chance of sex, I had no problem telling her how f-ing retarded she is. I let her know that it's pretty much impossible to have an intelligent conversation with someone who is totally warped by a life full of guys kissing her ass because they want to sleep with her. I let her know she basically has no personality because she has been spoiled her whole life and she might be the most boring individual I've ever meet.

I guess no one has ever said that to her before because in the middle of my rant this crazy bitch runs downstairs and comes back into my room waving around a f-ing butcher knife. She starts just screaming A-HOLE! over and over again for a few minutes while I'm kind of laughing at how crazy this chick is turning out to be.

Eventually, she gets mad that I'm laughing and she makes this laughably girly attempt to jab me with the knife. Still laughing, I take the knife away from her (doesn't take much effort to take a knife away from a small girl) and asked her to get the hell out of my room.

At the moment, I have locked my door until she calms down. What's my next play?

Pics of crazy roommate:







Cliffnotes: I'm living with a girl who I used to sleep with. After an argument tonight, she tried to cut me with a butcher knife.
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:38 PM   #2
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

take nude pics while she's sleeping and post them all over the internet
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:44 PM   #3
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

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Originally Posted by Tapow Dayok View Post
Eventually, she gets mad that I'm laughing and she makes this laughably girly attempt to jab me with the knife.
I'm not sure if I'd be laughing more or less if she'd actually stabbed you in the f****** chest.
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:46 PM   #4
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

Pics of Russian Roomates plz
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:51 PM   #5
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

I'd hit it.

And this

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Pics of Russian Roomates plz
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:52 PM   #6
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

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Originally Posted by Meester Stotch View Post
Pics of Russian Roomates plz
Seeing how neither of them have tried to stab me, I have no reason to start posting their pictures on the internet without their permission. I'd feel bad--especially since one of them got her purse snatched yesterday by bunch of local kids. She lost her passport and all her money.

One of the Russians is a little chubby and the other has no curves. Trust me, you aren't really missing much.
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:52 PM   #7
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

any russian chick beats that imo.anywayz I thought jamacains were supposed to be relaxed.
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:58 PM   #8
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

idk, I have heard some crazy stories about motherf***ers gettin killed in jamaica by crazy locals
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:00 PM   #9
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

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Originally Posted by ursine cotcher View Post
take nude pics while she's sleeping and post them all over the internet
+1
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:08 PM   #10
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

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Originally Posted by Squibking View Post
any russian chick beats that imo.anywayz I thought jamacains were supposed to be stoned 24/7.
fyp
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:19 PM   #11
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

Did you try .........????
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:25 PM   #12
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

I heard makeup sex is the best after close call stabbing altercations.
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:29 PM   #13
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

Oh yeah, and you'll probably have to move because she's going to get one of her big Jamaican friends who wants to have sex with her to stab you.
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:35 PM   #14
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Brickie View Post
I'm not sure if I'd be laughing more or less if she'd actually stabbed you in the f****** chest.
I think for a little while, it was kind of nervous laughter, but mostly I was laughing at the utter ridiculousness of the situation. 30 minutes earlier, I taught her how to play Crazy 8s and now she was thinking about stabbing me. I was kind of chuckling while I was channeling Jules from Pulp Fiction and trying to say cool **** like, "I hate burst your ego, but I've had a gun pulled on me, so don't think you can wave that sheet around and make me nervous."

As far as when she took the swing, it's hard to describe how pathetic it was. You know how when most girls try to throw a baseball and instead of whipping it with their arm, they just kind of push at it and you can't help but immediately lose respect for them as a person because of how uncoordinated they are? It was kind of like that. There was never any fear of getting hurt.
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:41 PM   #15
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Re: Crazy Jamaican Roommate Tried To Shank Me (tldr, pics included)

you should have reminded her that the kitchen was downstairs.
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