I have a BJ fail story for variety:

Lots of girls were present at my friend's 21st birthday party. You could spin around in a circle with your eyes closed (which I actually did, because whiskey is the devil) and end up looking at a beautiful girl. The drinks were flowing freely, and everyone was having a great time. A girl whom I have known since 1st grade approached me and said

"My sister keeps talking about you, but don't do anything with her, she's pretty drunk!"

Being the great liar that I am, I told her that I'd leave her alone for the remainder of the night. In actuality I was giving myself a mental high five.

Her sister approached me not a minute later with a wild look of desire in her eyes.

"I've liked you since highschool, did you ever notice me?" etc etc etc.


The next thing I know, she's putting her hand down the back of my pants to feel on my naked ass, in full view of everyone at the party. I mean, who does that? Feel on my dick plz.

Anyway, I lead her away from the party towards my car, but the car is in the driveway. So I walk down the street for awhile and find a secluded area with one of those green power box things that worked perfectly as a seat. She pulls out my shmeck and starts going at it. I really thought that her BJ skill was going to be sub par, but I was pleasantly surprised....until the devil took hold of my dick. The whiskey left me unable to release my hot happy man juice. I really felt like painting some abstract art upon her gorgeous face. Alas, whiskey is the devil.

This thread sucks. Pretty sure op is a sociopath, too.

Same thing happened with my ex wife..... ended up with a load on my stomach, but my **** was still in her mouth. She was a good sport about it, actually laughed about it soon after.

I expect that since she is an 'ex' she didn't have the common decency to lick your tummy clean.

HOW MUCH TEETH DO YOU WANT?

+1

At first I thought you were a pretty lame gimmik/troll. You are starting to find your groove. Keep it up.

wow wp lmao rofl etc etc. my kind of humor

i got most of my head/ass in high school aside from hookers/one night hookups/strip club hookers.
first gf we were prob 12 or 13 dated her till 17. we obv cheated on each other alot but she gave the best head for sure by the time we were like 2 years into our relationship. lots of practice ftw. freshman/sophmore year we would just skip school everyday and she would blow me for hours. im pretty sure im the first one in my hs to get my ass licked . not sure if thats a brag but it was cool i guess. one time she cheated on me and the terms for me to call her my gf again she had to lick my ass and blow me for like a hour+ and let me build up a huge load and bust it on her face. cumshot on face is overrated and grossed me out. i never looked at her the same i just picture her with jizz covered face.

i don't get much ass anymore aside from younger girls. obv not under-age illegal tho just 17+ one night hook up type things or strippers/hookers if i find a good deal.
my game got pretty rusty after getting out of rehab last year/gained weight and the year b4 rehab i was a real nutty person and a lot of people in my city hated on me/hate on me still and think im a ******* so i really don't do the bar scene often.

it aint tricking if u got it

LOL at posting pics of girls you had in a poker forum.

Not that you ever ever ever had any of these girls.

Anyone ever get a blumpkin?

saw this and thought of this thread, kind of random

Another story that is funny with me. This one chick was blowing me. She was okay but but good enough to make you cum plus she had nice new boobies. After she my blowjob I got up and went to piss afterwards and there was like crap stains on my pants. I thought to myself did she make me crap my pants. messed me up, i was a little tipsy but was thinking i wouldn't crap my pants from a blow job. I looked at my underwear and it looked like i sharted all over the place. I freaked out and was embarrassed.

I started to think for a bit and realized, oh crap, I heard jeanna was bullimic. Maybe she threw up on me. As i started to place the night in my head, i realized her and her friend talking about having chocolate ice cream before coming over. It would only make sense that bullimic girls have sensitive throats and throw up easily.

What i didn't get was how come I didnt hear her throw up. Maybe i was just enjoying my bj and figured she was just gagging on me and didnt' even think about it. I came back into the room and asked her is she knew whats up. She was so embarrassed.

My buddies love this story. I banged that girls throat so hard, she throw up on me. Well on the good note:

came ( x )
balls drained and on E ( x )
Great story ( x )

LOL that's disgusting

[ ] got sharted on
[x] got yutted on

this

(not pron fwiw)

bbv4l is not a poker forum

wat is this?

yeah but its check boxes not check parenthesis

oh I thought it was meant to be a picture of a sphincter. I thought the guy was saying someone came in his sphincter, drained balls in his sphincter etc.

wtf he deleted his post

hot water baby LOL