Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

So I've been in rehab 5 months and am out, but not living at home. Have a wife of 13 years and a 2 yo son.

I come by the house today to shovel snow and then take a shower. There are pubes all over my bar of ivory. I haven't used the shower here in 6 months. Wife uses fancy soap. They aren't my pubes from before. I use a washcloth. The bar only touches my hands.

Then I'm watching the boy while wife says she's going to swim at the club. The boy asks where mommy is and I say she's swimming at the club. Then he says, "she's with Jordan."

I asked him a bunch of questions about Jordan. Is he an adult or a kid, has he been to the house, etc. Can't get much more out of him.

So what's my play? Hire a PI? If I ask who Jordan is, she may be more careful about the boy and maybe I can mine him for more info.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

prolly shouldn't ****ed up bad enough to need rehab, neh?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

try hitting her.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Jordan is also a girls name afaik.

You should try a gangbang with your wife and male/female Jordan.

If she says no then there is only one real answer: Try hitting her.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

just say "who's jordan and why is he shaving his balls on my bar?"

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Wait, are we mad that she's using her man-pleaser on someone else even though you're a druggie whos been gone for 5 months or just she brings him/her around the boy?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Pretty terrible and cynical attitude about your own son. Is this a joke post?

If your wife is ****ing some other dude it's probably a little late for you two. What are you going to do about it anyway? Seriously? Beat him up? Cry a little? Ask him not to rub his pubes on your soap when he's done with her?

I think the best thing to do is embrace your new life as a cuckold. And maybe stop shovelling.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

You should hide the pubes and then next next he's done banging you rwife he'll be all like "Hey! who stole my pubes!"

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

post pictures of ur wife then can we only give u meaningful advice.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Whos going to open another account with the name BigDonkeyJordan and start a thread about banging some poor unsuspecting dudes wife, complete with graphic details and poronographic MSPaint? Im not that cruel (ie too lazy and not funny)

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Best possible outcome: it's actually Jordan Capri and your wife is preparing for a 3some.

Extremely likely outcome: your suspicions that she's boning a non-addicted black guy from work will be confirmed.

Worst possible outcome: it's a big dude called Jordan, and you're going to have a 3some against your will, during which you're going to be forced to eat all his pubes while your wife is ramming 3 ivory bars into your ass.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

hahahahahaha:)

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

i would set up a booby trap of some sort.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

agree

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

5 months rehab not living at home? hmmmm i would be banging somebody else too, lets be real

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Yeah, this puzzled me as well. Isn't it completely standard when you go into rehab to make sure your wife has a dog, peanutbutter and some toys?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

lmao who let the pindick post? shut up and clean my dong, i'm getting ready for another go.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

<3 the picture

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

lol best gimmick ever, especially the pic^^

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

i just choked on my lunch from laughter

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLFDHOLDHD
LOLOL THEPIC!!!!!!!!!

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Classic gimmick

Correct answer is get number from her cell phone.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

i lol'd

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

pics of wife would also be super useful

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

use the hair from the soap to clone him. then kill the clone in front of your wife and she'll think Jordan is dead.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Well, I heard Michael likes the ladies, so you can't blame him, can ya?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Horrible post. You couldn't of tried to make a worse post.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Get someone with teh herp to use the soap ldo

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Tell her you're going out of town for a week or two, get a rental car so she won't recognize it. Cruise by the house periodically after dark and check for a car you don't recognize (Jordan's car). When you see it there, set fire to the house. Life insurance FTW.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Dude he said his wife is banging some dude named Jordan not Johnson. Plus, I heard Michael Johnson is gay so that doesn't make any sense.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

hire the pi sue the btch and take everything from her

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

I'm a private investigator myself. I snapped a picture of 'Jordan' in his natural habitat. His real name is Timothy Snubbs; 'Jordan McKnight' is his convention name. Here's the pic - he's the guy with his back to the camera. OP can thank me later.

http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/a...ZmqCSzAQyK.jpg

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Stop.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

qft

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

-Save up 2-3k
-Come up with an air tight excuse as to where you may be going for 3 days.
-Go to Vegas, bang 2 delicious skanks at once, take many pictures. ldo involve drugs in this. Nodody likes a quitter.
-Flat out tell her when you get back: "Should I move out ? I know about Jordan". When she hesitates, show her your sexy pictures.

One of 2 things will happen:

1) She admits it right there to get back at you
2) She FREAKS on you, at which point you point to a little hidden camera "omg kidding kidding, lol it's prank. Where's your sense of humor ? This is all photoshop"

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

seems foolproof, tr please

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

I need something like this in my thread.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Which thread are you talking about ?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Don't do drugs, or your wife'll bang a guy named Jordan. After which he'll rub his pubes on your bar of soap...

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

winner

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

no interest in watching your wife **** this dude?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

molest the kid to get back at her?

(come on, its kina funny. no ban.)

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

molest the kid to get back at her imo

edit- damn too late

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Just assume she's cheating on you and get an 8-ball and couple hookers... That will be better than spending money on a PI, imo...

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

hey spb im actually going back to carpinteria in a few days maybe we could set up a time to meet but then i wouldnt even show up and you would wonder why some internet stranger would go so far out of their way to waste like an hour of your time. do you want to meet up somewhere?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

do u mean

meet up
or
meat up?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

i mean like, in the spirit of hannukah, like a fat shalom up the shabbat.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

biggest beat is that his son likes his new Daddy better :(

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

not a model ur a cool guy

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

OP, once you've uncovered the identity of Jordan, I ask that you return to this thread to inform us and provide confirmation that it is indeed the new guy banging your girl. I really hate investing time in threads like this and not receiving closure on them.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

has no one else realized that the kid just has an advanced yet twisted sense of humor? Coincidence has it that he started to grow pubes early and has been using daddies soap.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

qfmft i hate it when that happens. let's see some follow-up with pics and police reports

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

http://www.selfdefenseproducts.com/s...den-camera.htm

1.set this up in the bathroom facing the door.
2. wait for said Jordan to re enter A) bathroom B) wife C) ha ha
3. watch playback of recording
4. confront wife
5. Choose your own adventure- either hit her or accept it and move on
6. great gimmick picture! A++

Sorry to OP, if this is real, props on finishing REHAB

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

pics of wife plz

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

lolololololol

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Hey OP, I really feel sorry for your son. He certainly doesn't deserve a deadbeat dad and a philandering mom. Do whatever you can to make your son's life better. This is FAR more important than any feelings you might have regarding your cheating wife. No matter what happens in the future, put your kid first.

Oh, and ask the wife if you can watch her and Jordan next time while you sit in the corner and jack-off. Should be fun...

Good luck.. BB

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/9660/2725tf7.png
http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/4...ro0nozami2.gif

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

what he said

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

I want to see another post from Jordan with the funny avatar

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

You really should

[ ] hire a PI
[X] get an AIDS test
[X] post video of you kicking Jordan's ass

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

do they have to draw blood for an aids test?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

No, they have it in breathalyzer form these days.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

I must say this was a pretty funny post

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

i cant stop laughing, its that pic :P

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

what is happening ITT

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

nah, that's more for tests for teh ghey

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

he's gettin' his dick wet

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

This thread has potential. I expect OP to give us an update on the situation soon.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

HAHAHAHA

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

ninja bump, we require an update

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

UPDATE:
Upon further inspection, the pubes weren't pubes at all. They are too long and not curly. When I was in the shower before, I didn't have my contacts in and my eyesight is ****ty.

And then, not long after, I casually asked if Junior knows anyone named, "Jordan." I was told that Jordan is a woman and she worked at the daycare over the summer but she's gone now because of school.

Gripping, I know.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

epic fail

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

tons of beats tl;dr

but if its Michael Jordan its a sick brag imo

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

this thread has turned into a hudge beat. but thats good news.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

if a girl is named Jordan she's super hot like 9/10 times... should have went for a 3 way.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

congrats d00d. wp

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Somehow, given how this all unfolded, I suspect that this won't be the last time your wife "bangs" some "dude". Looking forward to the post.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

so your wife is bumping doughnuts with a woman? Awesome

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Highest LOL/post ratio of any thread I've read on 2p2. Thanks all!

PS: If Jordan gimmick is willing to out himself, I could use a new idol.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Lol @ gimmick, that was priceless.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

srsly? you don't know michael jordan :confused:

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

This poster needs therapy. Move on. Be good to you son, but don't be a clown. Anything you had with her is over.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Now you're kidding yourself.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

lol at that gimmick made me burst out laughing.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

[x] Shouldn't have posted update

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

So how did the hair get on the soap in the first place, I thought you wife only used the fancy liquid sht?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

do drugs much?

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

You should still try hitting her, just in case.

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

kid is $50 richer imo

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

This is your brain:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2.../other/egg.jpg

This is drugs:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...er/skillet.jpg

This is your brain on drugs:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...ainondrugs.jpg

This is your bar of soap after 5 months in rehab while some dude's been screwing your wife:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...other/soap.jpg

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

lol A+

Re: Beat: Wife is banging some dude named, "Jordan."
 

Lol, epic fail but at least OP isn't getting ****ed around with.

Gimmick was awesome, nice pic lol.