oh man don't do it, such a finite amount of time on this earth, you and your wife already making enough money to take care of your family, you never know when something like this can destroy what you've built. I think outside of the commute, you would have to take into consideration if you'll be working longer hours as well. Yeah sometimes we should take risks in life, as poker players know one knows that better than us, but imo it's a much better risk to take a job that pays 50k that you 100% know you will love than to take a job that pays 250k that you know you will hate.

listen to this guy

asked and answered, sort of.

I have every season of Mad Men on DVD and in my DVR and on my iphone. I have so far only seen 3 episodes. I like it so far. I most definitely "get" Don Draper, at least so far. I feel sorry for him and look up to him.

I look forward to when I get to the Alison Brie episodes. I find her pleasing to look at.


I recently had a bit of a mortality scare, and this has been ringing in my ears this whole week. I keep thinking "if I die tomorrow...what have I accomplished? Did I do what i wanted in my career? Did I have fun and make the most of life and family?"

I don't like the answers I have come up with. I have always been good at making money whenever i needed it. I guess I just have to have faith that that trend will continue, if I do decide to decline the job.

Truth be told, if someone offered me a job for half my current salary that was 5 mins from my current house doing something I really loved, I would probably take it. I could spend the extra time I had freelancing and/or playing poker.

And I could sell the ****ing Prius.

fyp.

[x] OP watches "Community"

She is not appealing at all in Mad Men. And she is like no.70 on the potential reasons to watch it.

Back to your life OP - it seems like you are starting to sway toward happiness and family vs. material gain -- SO make your decision, have a MadMen marathon with the misses and then have naughty 1960s role play sex.

Genuine dilemma. Two Qs:

1. How many kids resent their parents for money they don't make?

2. OP if you were highballing when pressed for a number, why didn't you 3-4x your current salary?

Obviously if the choice was between $200k job and the unemployment line this would be easy, but you already have a job that pays well. The new commute sounds brutal, it can't be worth it given that you're already living comfortably on what you currently make. 3+ hours in the car plus 10+ hours of work (that you hate) every day isn't a life worth living, especially with a daughter. If you do take the new job, demand some extra weeks of vacation time and be sure to use it to spend time with her.

Yeah I mean I think we all see the obvious dilemma, we understand the need for you to build financial security for your family and to be a person you can be proud of. But putting your goals and ambitions aside for a moment, assuming you have a good relationship with your wife and kids, then your time is most likely a more valuable commodity to them than the extra cash, so you may actually be doing them a disservice by doing what you think is in their best interest.

Now combine that with the fact that you most likely will be hating life if you take this job which will lead you to becoming a more (even slightly) irritable/distant person to your family and pull yourself even further away from who you want to be. I mean I don't think there really is a decision in my opinion.

And also you need a poll.

poor bastard

it's too bad getting a 4 year degree has taken precedence over a little elbow grease in this day and age

I believe there is some research to indicate that, beyond a certain threshold of meeting basic needs, happiness does not strongly increase with salary. People are talking about providing with your 1 year old, but you will be providing for her in either case, so I think spending time with her is more important.

Although I do see some appeal in sucking it up for a little while to put away lots of savings, realistically I suspect this is rarely how it works. People in general tend to adjust their spending upwards as their income goes upwards. If you are confident this won't be you then it might be a different issue, but I think this is the case with most people in such situations. They might claim they will live the same lifestyle and spend, but it's harder than it sounds. Also it's difficult in general to adjust back down to a lower salary after having a higher one.

Think about how many people die wishing they had made more money vs. how many people die wishing they spent more time with their family or enjoyed their lives more. I suspect very few middle class and above fall into the first category.

* I'm fairly young and don't have kids though, so what do I really know about the issue.

Don't take it. Bush Tax cuts gonna get rolled back and you won't be able to create all those jobs.

Too much time on the road, and it's a 100k/yr raise, right? Everyone keeps talking about him making 250k. 250k is not the important part. The amount of the raise is the important part. To anybody who mentioned providing for his family...they are making ~240k/yr combined. They are fine financially FFS. Adding another 60-70k in the bank per year is not going to change their life dramatically.

The choices are A) be a ****ty parent/husband/friend b/c of work, have 60-70k/yr extra, and have no change in lifestyle B) Be a much better parent/husband/friend, same lifestyle, less money

Why don't you start sniffing around for a new job in your area in the event your current company does go belly up?

1) Take $250,000 job
2) Pay off $200,000 to reach top of water
3) ?
4) Profit!

Your daughter's name wouldn't happen to be Emily would it? That would be just soooooooo ironic

tell you current boss that your leaving unless he offers you a salary increase.