Back story: It's mating season for cats. I can tell because my female, Momma Cat, has been gone for a week straight. Which is not good but never mind that now. She has had a good life, and 31 kittens, one of which I kept, Houdini, now 2.

OK, so being a standard degen, I never got my cat Houdini his rabies shot. I give blood once a year which is the entirety of my interaction with the medical community. As an engineer my philosophy is if it ain't broke don't fix it.

But he came home bleeding and limping last weekend. So Tuesday I relent and take him to the vet.

Turns out he has a bite on his leg. Probably another male cat. But this is a big deal since he never got a rabies shot, so I'm told I need to keep him under house arrest for six months.

You would think some sort of doctor-patient privilege would have kicked in when I took my cat to the vet. You'd be wrong.

The Watertown animal control officer, Officer O'Reilly, calls me Friday morning and she is supposed to pop by in ~6 hours to inspect my domicile and ensure the proper security measures, etc., have been taken care of.

Harry Houdini, in case you don't know, is a famous escape artist.

Around 11pm his namesake, my cat Houdini, escaped. After being cooped up for a week and a half.

There was some heavy duty mating going on two blocks south of here around 2AM. But no sign that he's coming back so far. Well, that's my boy.

So I might be going away for a little while, guys. I don't know but this can't possibly be good.

tl;dr. Cliffs please.

houdini didnt escape, you killed him cause you didnt want him in your house for 6 months


what do i win?

We're all gonna get rabies and die and it's all my fault. I'm like those hippies at the start of 28 Days Later, and the Commonwealth is going to see to it I pay for my crimes.

It has been tempting. A male cat with balls that's been allowed outside since he was 10 weeks old and he's being locked up during mating season. You have never heard so much whining.

holy ****, momma's a slutty pussy.

herps ITT

Just tell the cop you drowned/strangled him to death.

Prison Inmate #1: I stole a car and accidentally ran over a kid while the cops were chasing me. What are you in here for?

Prision Inmate #2: I lost my rabies cat.

Prision Inmate #1: Bend over.




/scene

Yeah, 31 kittens, ~20 different fathers. Sexually liberated.

Nice icon. Yeah, she'll probably want to see a corpse or something. I might feel out that line though....

maybe pretend your other cat is houdini when the pig comes?

Well that was anti-climatic. "Call me when he comes back, and try harder, sign here."

wat, how? cats have lots of cats per litter

Cats are superfecund. But, OK, maybe 20 is an exaggeration. Usually 3 different fathers per litter though -- one main father but there's always a couple odd balls that look nothing like the others.

Seriously, get your cats fixed. They're probably all inbred anyways.

But, won't see him again, he probably wandered into Brighton and is now dinner to a family of 12.

Is this thread really about a cat?

Also ask me about folding Quad Kings

PokerStars Game #24759273215: Tournament #139634573, 60FPP Hold'em No Limit - Level IV (50/100) - 2009/02/09 14:10:21 ET
Table '139634573 9' 10-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: Mc mani (1315 in chips)
Seat 2: seindro (1825 in chips)
Seat 3: Zaubermaus9 (3245 in chips)
Seat 4: pokergus (2640 in chips)
Seat 5: Flush Garage (1040 in chips)
Seat 6: southpark08 (2765 in chips)
Seat 7: mike 5927 (655 in chips)
Seat 8: kungwille (3085 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 9: Hazur (1175 in chips)
Zaubermaus9: posts small blind 50
pokergus: posts big blind 100
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hazur [Ad Ks]
Flush Garage: folds
southpark08: raises 100 to 200
mike 5927: folds
kungwille: folds
Hazur: calls 200
Mc mani: folds
seindro: folds
Zaubermaus9: calls 150
pokergus: calls 100
*** FLOP *** [2c Kd Kh]
Zaubermaus9: checks
pokergus: checks
southpark08: bets 100
Hazur: calls 100
Zaubermaus9: folds
pokergus: folds
*** TURN *** [2c Kd Kh] [Kc]
southpark08: bets 100
Hazur has timed out while being disconnected
Hazur: folds
Uncalled bet (100) returned to southpark08
Hazur is sitting out
Hazur has returned
southpark08 collected 1000 from pot
southpark08: doesn't show hand
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1000 | Rake 0
Board [2c Kd Kh Kc]
Seat 1: Mc mani folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: seindro (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Zaubermaus9 (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 4: pokergus (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 5: Flush Garage folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: southpark08 collected (1000)
Seat 7: mike 5927 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: kungwille folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: Hazur folded on the Turn

you can go to jail because you didn't get your cat a shot?