Hai

tomorrow I have yet another meeting with some managers who are epic bull****ters and use stupid managementspeak phrases all the time. Example from today: 'let's not be the dinosaur, let's be the porpoise'. They also invoke metaphors about picking fruit and gardening and car maintenance and similar bull**** ALL THE ****ING TIME.

I wanted to ty and get even bigger bull**** into the conversation because it's a stupid waste of my time anyway, I wanted to see if they adopt my own bull**** phrase into their usual repertoire. Best I can think of at the moment 'let's run the idea through the coffee maker and see if it comes out capuccino or expresso'

Can you do better?


HELP ME 4LIFE YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.

"It's better to win with a team than carry the glory all by yourself."

If that's not a line of bull **** then I don't know what is.

I did once butt in on someone who said 'There is no I in team' and said 'yeah but there's a 'me''... no one laughed.

There's no use talking about the apples after they've already been fried.

Tell them that if you become a porpoise you will become endangered because you are vulnerable to fishing nets, motorboats, inability to adapt to aquariums, and Japanese fishing vessels.

God I hate these stupid suit BS lines.

- "let's rub our penis of ideas on the hooker and see in which orifice it goes."
- "sometimes you have to defecate in your target group's mouth, just to make sure they'll never forget your name."
- "let's rape this concept until it is barely alive."

we think similar. I was thinking 'let's slip this idea a roofie and then youtube the rape', but there's no way they'd repeat that.

Let's see what kind of taters make the best salad

"Giving your team space can bring them closer together."

I can make this **** up all day

I might use this next time I have a job.

You can't trim your hedges and not lose some leaves

this is by far the best one in terms of being completely meaningless but sounding wise - one of them is bound to start using it imo.

"Its not rocket surgery"

"Let's not go against the market, let's be a chameleon, let's be a stonefish, let's be a... (moment of silence, then triumphantly) ...a Jew under a swastika!"