I wrote this some time back and hope that sharing it here will help people who are struggling with some of the same things I have.

After 10 years of playing poker, including 5 semi-professionally, I believe I am making the right decision to retire from the game. I just don't enjoy poker like I did when I first started playing. In fact, it feels more like a job than a hobby. While I could continue making a modest profit in the game, is it worth the sacrifices? Less time with xxxxx? Less time with friends and family? Feeling like I am working on my days off? Traveling long distances just to play live? Using vacation days to play in tournaments? Worrying about whether I will receive winnings from online sites? The answer is no. It's not worth all of the sacrifices.

I can celebrate the fact that I transformed myself from a losing player into a winning player. My best guess is that I won somewhere between $10,000-$15,000, with the majority of those profits coming from tournaments. Only a small percentage of players are long-term winning players in the game (~10%). I am proud of the fact that I was able to accomplish what most poker players can not. Had poker continued to be fun and feel like a hobby, I can confidently say that I could continue playing profitably. However, the reality for me is that poker became a second job. And, a poorly paying second job at that. I was making between $3-$4/hour playing. If you factor in travel expenses, my hourly rate was probably closer to $1-$2/hour. What other "job" would I work for with that kind of wage?

I must also acknowledge the changing landscape of poker. The Moneymaker boom is long gone and no major online poker sites are serving U.S. customers. In 2003, there were tens of thousands of people who were introduced to a new and exciting game they saw on ESPN and wanted to take their shot at fame and fortunate. Since 90% of poker players are long-term losing players, it's no surprise that most of those people are no longer even playing poker. So, who does that leave? The winning players competing against the remaining winning players. When you factor in the rake, winning at poker is only going to get harder....not easier. There are also very few new players entering the game. That's because the poker boom was fueled by people learning to play the game online. Without that as an option in America, there just aren't enough new players to continue to make the game profitable.

Right now, I am wishing I hadn't spent so much time pursuing poker. However, I know that down the road that I will be able to look back and realize that the game provided me with lots of fun and interesting experiences. I traveled to the 2012 WSOP at the Rio in Las Vegas and played with Huck Seed, Humberto Brenes, Jennifer Harman, David Benyamine, and John Racener. I was also able to watch almost every major pro playing, including Phil Hellmuth, Daniel Negreanu, Phil Ivey, and Doyle Brunson. I also traveled to the 2012 WSOP-Circuit at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. While fun, both experiences opened my eyes to what being a poker professional is really like. It's a long, isolating grind that is not nearly as glamorous as portrayed on TV.

Letting go of poker is going to take some time. It's been such a big part of my life for almost a decade now that in many ways, stepping away from the game feels like I failed. But, really, it's just the opposite. I've come to realize that most people will never be truly satisfied playing poker. Because poker is a skill game, successful players will always believe there's more left yet to win. But when is enough, enough? It's like chasing after a target that will never stop moving.

Retiring from poker does not mean I have to give up gambling all together. I still enjoy going to the casino and betting a little bit of money on sports. The key thing is I can participate in those activities just for the fun of it. There's no expectation of winning or pursuing a professional gambling career.

I know stepping away from the game will temporarily leave a void in my life. Being a poker player has become a big part of my identity. But I've come to realize that it's a part of my identity that has too often consumed my thoughts and actions. I have been, for the most part, responsible with the money aspect of playing poker. Where I have struggled is the constant fantasizing of winning a major tournament, cashing for a large sum of money and being able to retire. No matter how poker is portrayed on ESPN, that scenario almost never happens. It's a mirage.

I take a great interest in many things in life and know that I will have no problem filling the void left by poker. Without question, poker reduced my general excitement about daily life. That is one of the most difficult things for me to accept. It makes me sad and embarrassed that I did not have my priorities in the right order. But I am glad that I am realizing this at an early age and deciding to do something about it. I am really excited about getting more involved in other hobbies, like golfing, ATVing, and cooking. I am ready to get back to living life to its fullest.

It's time for me to set out in a new direction. I look back with few regrets, but forward with wisdom knowing that a happier and more fulfilling life awaits me.

gl as you travel along your new path.

cool article. i respect you for putting your opinions out there. i liked reading it, and these are thoughts i have toyed with a lot in my mind. chewys response was legit. poker is a tough game in many ways. it could definitely spit you up and chew you out. wait scratch that reverse it. it has to me a few times, but for some people it could work. we are all on our own learning journey and no one can take us where we need to go. we all must find it for ourselves.

I just wanted to touch on the sports part, incidentally.

Definitely. As luckychewy says though, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Being happy when your team wins and unhappy when they lose is foolish when you think about it, because it's something you can't control. Thinking "well in the short term it's luck and in the med-long term teams get more or less what they pay for" takes a lot of the fun out but it's artificial fun that's not really satisfying, to me anyway.

This however I disagree with. I re-took up a sport 2 years ago and with the free time and money that poker has given me was able to get coaching and become much better than I ever was before. Last season when I was playing we went 1-9 or something but the results didn't bother me in the slightest, largely because poker has taught me to be so much less result-oriented. I enjoyed testing myself against better teams very much when in the past the losses would have depressed me.

My hope was to reach those who are struggling to make sense of all the time, energy and money they have poured into poker. Many of us are products of the Moneymaker boom and are reaching about 10 years playing the game. I found myself wondering whether it had all been worth it?

I believe there are many other people out there wondering the same thing but are scared to walk away from the game because it will feel like falilure. I profited money, yet still struggle with the idea of feeling like I failed. It wasn't the life changing kind of money that I dreamed about when I dedicated countless hours to playing and improving. Like I said, I was making less than minimum wage based on my hourly rate.

I just go back to this idea of chasing a moving target. I found it to be tiresome and unfulfilling. I know there are many people out there who just play for a hobby. That's great. But I think there are just as many people who have treated poker like their own small business, and have found that the time and energy they have poured into that business may not be worth the sacrifices since it has yet to result in life-changing money.

Hey man, much respect to you for expressing your honest feelings and opinions about how poker has affected YOU over the years. As much as you'll get the trolls and 2+2 *******s who have nothing to contribute but years of bitterness to these forums, please know there are still some people who are relatively new to the game who do read these things with an open mind. Players like myself who make a very good living in rl, and find it informative and interesting to peel back the curtain on the poker lifestyle to learn more about it and the people in it. Chances are very good I'll never find it lucrative enough to pull me away from my real job and your post(s) were interesting glimpses of one side of the life. I'm sure that 99.9% of the trolls on here who slam you probably average less than $5/hour in total earnings when you factor in time, costs, fees, and travel. So for all the "freedom" and lifestyle of playing Poker most them could make more and be more successful financially doing just about anything else. I give you a lot of credit for being able to be objective about your life and the cost/reward Poker brought to you and putting it on these forums. Best of luck.

This post is great and thanks for writing it. One of the biggest things I struggle with is quitting because it would make me feel like a failure too but now I realize that success isn't even quantifiable in poker. You can do everything right and still lose or breakeven for many many tens of thousands of hands and that's something I'm just not interested in.

When I undertake an endeavor I want to see progress in order to keep me motivated and since the apparent edges in this game are so esoteric and undefined the only real progress is in the size of your bankroll, which is not a great way to evaluate your progress, yet it really is the only way.

A recent video I saw of John Cleese really opened up my eyes to improvement in a general sense and what he said was that 'people that aren't good at something, don't even know they aren't good at it. In order to see that you aren't good at it, you need to have the skills in place to be good at it to see that you aren't good at it.' This is a profound statement and one that I think really sheds light on the whole nature vs. nurture argument. Some people are just BORN with intuitive ability at certain things. Luckychewy has the inborn skills, not to mention a close group of highly dedicated, highly talented players to learn from in his immediate social sphere, and so he is more able to understand, learn and grow as a player than most other people.

It throws a wrench into the whole training site landscape that we have seen evolve over the years that has most of us convinced that if we just work a little harder, if we just spend a little more time, eventually we will get better. While that might be true, the guys like luckychewy are and will remain at the top of the food chain simply because they are in a much better physiological and social position.

I too got into poker thinking that life changing money was only a few thousand hours of work away and now after playing for factors more than I initially thought I realize that this goal is unattainable and to be honest not really wanted anymore anyway. I thought for years that this goal of being independent and being able to make money in my underwear was so great and so obviously possible (because that's what everyone says though very very few ever actually do it) that it was worth the effort.

I have to say now that for me it simply is not anymore. Even if there is a nonzero chance that one day I will play 5/10 for a living I simply am at the end of my emotional and motivational rope. I have lost interest in the game, and after years of playing micro and small stakes and seeing very little improvement despite tenacious endeavor it truly is time for me to move on as well.

I always felt kinda bad when taking money off people that clearly had no idea what they are doing, even when it was very small amounts. I don't know how much worse I would feel doing it for big amounts, but it's probably not a marginal difference. Online poker is very deceptive because it can fool you into thinking that there is no real person there losing pot after pot to you, it's just an avatar and numbers on a screen. But the reality is that there is someone there, a flesh and blood person who might be gambling his life savings away. I can't be part of that. I have too much integrity to take advantage of human beings in this way. It might be good for my wallet, but it can't be good for my soul.

I haven't even mentioned how much time I seem to have wasted learning, playing, and trying doggedly to improve. I have neglected things in my life that needed attention and I have neglected people that I care about to pursue this. In attempting to play for a living, I have neglected my life. I also know that I am not an outlier in this regard, and with poker getting tougher by the day, even more sacrifices are necessary to stay ahead of the curve. This is the nature of any competition. The question I have been recently asking myself is if these sacrifices are worth it and they just aren't anymore.

The perceived freedom I once saw in poker has now given way to blinding reality. I have been chained to this game and this dream for far too long and I am throwing in the towel. I will try to unsee it as potential yet unrealized freedom and instead focus on the real certainty of its slavery.

This can't be failure. This must be the success I've been looking for all along.

Good luck to all others who choose to move on and encouragement to all others who are thinking about it.

Big props to you for coming to this realization.

There's no question that the countless hours of playing, studying and thinking about poker will lead to better play and results. But for the majority of us, that only means going from someone being beaten by the rake to someone narrowly edging out a profit. That was certainly the case for me.

It's hard not to fall victim to the belief (or illusion) that if you work hard enough and are smart, you can eventually be a world-class player winning ridiculous sums of money. It becomes an unhealthy obsession.

I can really relate to your comment about being emotionally exhausted. I didn't dedicate all these years, hours, and personal sacrifices to become a nobody grinding out a couple dollars profit per hour. But that's all I am as a poker player.

You deserve a lot of credit for being able to walk away from it. That takes a lot more courage than continuing to chase after something that you know deep down you are unlikely to attain and may not even be fulfilling on the small chance that you ever get there.

If poker has decreased your general excitement about other things in life, it's time to say goodbye to the game. Best of luck to you.

Only scanned your post OP as I am about to hit the sack but will read properly over the weekend, am I right in thinking you're from England (I am too)?

I would just like to say I can relate to your story as I have felt like this myself sometimes.

**Cliffs at bottom**

I dropped out of college aged 17 and played online fulltime till the age of 19. I won probably $150k in that time from pretty much every form of NLHE cash, MTTs and SnGs at different stages. Being young and dumb I spunked all my winnings as I didn't really understand the value of money at the time and finished up by blowing up a $30k roll tilting away at 5knl HU.

I then managed to snag myself a job working for a small Sat-Comms company started on £17 worked my way up to £20k as a Project Coordinator. I felt job satisfaction, I felt that feeling of working a tough week then it gets to Friday and you have earnt yourself that trip down the pub or that shopping trip at the weekend, whatever it is you like to do.

From my time there I actually decided accountancy was the path I wanted to go down and I started studying and got myself a role as a trainee accountant at an umbrella company. I felt great studying and working hard but I had no spare time whatsoever and both my managers were real b1tches. Over the office xmas break just gone I played a lot of poker won a decent amount and figured the games haven't changed all that much since 2010 so I quit my job in January 2013 to play fulltime again.

Pre Black Friday I hadn't played since 2010 as it was just not something I wanted to do as I was working so for me its not an addiction as I can easily quit if I like but its a way of making more money than I could in a 'real job'. I am currently on a 40bi downswing @200nl and sure it sucks but I'm still up a bunch since going 'pro' again in Jan and the pros outweigh the cons for me. I have plans to invest and I hope in 5 years time I won't have to work again in my life (including poker).

I do wish you luck in your future endeavours though and for you it seems it is the best decision. I can say from my own experience of playing fulltime and then having a job (and then going pro again) you very quickly forget the extra money and I don't think that will be an issue for you.


**Cliffs**

- I used to play fulltime in 08-10
- I then worked 2 different jobs spanning almost 3 years
- I am now back playing poker from Jan this year
- For me the pros of playing poker outweigh the cons
- I think OP has made the right decision based on his story and feelings

+1 to This

Didnt read the thread yet, but I have played 1 day in the past 2 weeks and I am the happiest I can remember being in a long time.

Edit: I'm in for life though i wouldnt want to contribute to this disgusting society in anyway, im happy being a parasite off the dumb in a honest fashion

TLDR; lots of variance, poker isn't for everyone

ept mecklenburger seenplatte 1 time

Good post OP, basically lost of value for all aspects of life. I have my mates, Girlfriend etc but i could live on my own with no contact and would still be content. Means to and end poker for me now and i imagine is for most winning players.

OP, well done for writing this. This is also why I quit poker.

What most haters here don´t realize is the "time spent in front of a computer screen vs time living your life" factor. Most haters also talk as if they fit in the top 5% of players who actually make money long term in this game. When they are clearly not, except maybe a very few.

Calm down Pam, I heard he´s joining Greenpeace just to justify himself to you and make you happy.

Man! I can't read this! It is like it is growing to a climax, but then: other subject.. Every time..

Summarie please

Well said OP, would love for you to elaborate on the Peru jungle experience?

Great reads itt, haters gonna hate.

The main reason for me to play poker is to make money, I know poker is not for everybody, but imo what people forget, is that if they are not making money in poker then they will have to do some other job. Most other jobs are very similar to poker, in a sense that u have to sit at a desk in front of a computer for hours on end. The big difference is that in a job you have to take brakes when u get told to, and you can only have a certain amount of time to do this, the wages are super stable but who knows when u get the next pay rise, yes it is probably more sociable then playing online poker, if that is what you call it when you end up spending time with almost the same people for a big part of your life. Depending on the country you live in, you could get a maximum of 4 weeks to have a holiday. In a typical job you can spend up to 9 hours working if you are lucky, but do not forget the one and a half hours it takes you to get from your bed to work, and the same to get home (most jobs do not pay for you to travel), and this is if u r lucky, as other people work longer hours. Did i mention that a computer or bit of software could one day take your job away from you, or you could just get the old fashioned boot out the door. I would rather just keep trying to get better, make more money than i could in a job, take a few months on holiday that i need and want, and realise that most people i know that have a job hates their life way more than my friends that play poker for a living.

I know it hard when you feel burned out, but i challenge you to actually talk to people that have jobs, look at people working and see if u see any happy faces, and you will realise, that unless you are doing a job that u want to do, there are only few other jobs can give you the freedom that poker can give you.

sounds like you're doing a pretty good job of assimilating the things you learned in the jungle, into everyday life. wish you the best man

Props to OP for making the right decision. I can't say that I've been in any situation that you've been in but I can say this right now, as a beginning player.

-I would NEVER play poker professionally, it's not a steady income and it's the only sort of job where you're able to not have an income in a month but have to pay extra. Only the thought of this leaves me with stress and I think I wouldn't be able to perform on the tables because I gotta win if I want to have an income (pressure) Semi-professionally (although i think my skills will never be that level) however, would be interesting for me. This leads me to a stress-free approach towards poker and I'm able to enjoy the game, because it's just a game for me and it's my favorite hobby

-I will NEVER let poker take over my time with my GF, family or friends. Sure playing a big tournament every once in a while makes you not being able to make plans with them, but that's only every once in while. These people make me happier than poker ever will, so they're my top priority all-time.

-The thrill in winning a big pot/ tournament will never go away for me. A lot of people here are gonna say that I can't be sure of that, but I know what I'm saying is true. It just gives me an adrenaline rush, like being in a roller coaster. Riding the same roller coaster over and over again gives me the same rush over and over again, so why not poker?

-Taking other's people money isn't a big deal for me either, listen to this philosophy: the whales are going to be there whether you're there or not right? You can pretend that they won't but they will. The only reason you don't like to play against these bad players is because it'll make you feel bad. So if you're not playing you're not thinking about these poor whales spewing that money. Makes you feel really good about yourself right? 'Oh I'm not helping people lose their money I'm such a good person.' Meanwhile the whales will still be playing. You're only not playing against these players because it makes YOU feel good, it doesn't benefit anyone else but YOU, and IMO that more egoistic than wanting to win money from whales.

-Poker is a social game, I always talk against random people live and chat online. Many people learn to play it anti-social however because they're 'afraid of giving away tells.' They don't say a single word, even when they're not involved in hand! You can't give away a tell whilst chatting about a non-poker topic when you're not involved in a hand trust me. Chat it up at the table people, it makes the game 100% more enjoyable for everyone. (and if you're all talking that gives you all the same handicap right? ) So I really don't understand that you're feeling anti-social because of poker, it's your choice to be anti-social at the table! Simply to choose to start a conversation and this feeling will lessen in a minute.

Still I respect your choice of quitting, because many people can't do the same .

I wish you best of luck in life OP.

Havent read anythin, dont know if said as well. But.... in poker there is no lying. U dont lie. U play the game. Saying u become emotionally numbed to ur friends or whatever because u play poker. Hmmmm.... i dont buy that. Poker is poker. And besides that there is other stuff. U can seperate the two.
But to the lying u have to do in poker is bs. U tell a story. And the other buys it or not.
If u bet with 8-3 on on 55662 board is that lying? No u make a bet. And telling a story that is not true. But hey, true stories are mostly boring.

Telling a genuine lie btw, is intelligence. Meaning u know u are lying bet yet try to convince other its true is an intelligent act. That is totally different then low-life lying to get away with certain things, like lying u will pay someone while u know ur not goin to, things like that. Two different things.

Op is well meaning but too waffy but it spawned too great posts by dealmeout and pleasedtobeatyou. wd guys

Playing poker professionally is an extremely selfish and borderline scummy occupation. ESPN did a great job of hoodwinking many into the dream, some still haven't woken up or likely never will

sick bump