This is a walrus. This is my walrus. This is my first walrus. I'm doing this walrus at the same time as 27ninjabunnies and Bloo to spread out the disappointment and derision at any lack of speedy reveal that may occur. Please hold your applause and overripe vegetables until the end.

Rules

- Submit one song for each of the below categories, by PM, to me
- Youtube links are appreciated but not mandatory
- I will rank and score the submissions according to personal taste
- Songs I haven't heard will earn one bonus point
- Artists I haven't heard of will earn one additional bonus point
- Submission deadline is sometime on Friday, July 22nd, but can be extended in the event of walrus participant fatigue because I don't want the barrel-scrapings that are left after you've ship all your brilliant songs to bunnies, I mean really. So I'll make that call when we get closer.

Categories

1. An old song
2. A new song
3. A country song
4. A different country's song
5. A song that's ahead of its time OR a song that’s retro
6. A bouncy song
7. A crunchy song
8. A song from a short-lived act
9. A song with male and female vocals
10. A song that would be a giant hit in a parallel universe

More detailed categories

1. A song first released prior to January 1960.

2. A song first released after December 2015.

3. A country song! Can be alt-country, countrypunk, outlaw country, Red Dirt, folk, bluegrass, Americana, country rock, rockabilly, Nashville, old-timey, or just plain twangy and radio-friendly. Artists that I like that are varying degrees of country include Amanda Shires, Lindi Ortega, Hayes Carll, Jimmie Dale Gilmore, Mike Nesmith, the Old 97’s, Alison Krauss, Justin Townes Earle, Eilen Jewell, Hem, Jim White, Kasey Chambers, Kacey Musgraves, Jolie Holland, Kelly Hogan, Lay Low (Icelandic country!), Lucinda Williams, Lissie, Elle King, and The Meat Purveyors. Fast or slow, if it’s catchy and well-written with prominent vocals, it’s a good bet.

4. A song written and performed by an artist or act from a country that is not my country (the US) and is not your country (insert your country here). By country, I mean a sovereign state that is a member of the United Nations in its own right. Please specify the country of the song that you are submitting. And take heed! If two or more people submit songs from the same country, they will each lose two points in the final scoring. Just a minor incentive to look beyond the usual suspects.

5. Ahead of its time: A song that anticipated future songs. Maybe it was at the forefront of a particular genre, sounding like that before many other people were sounding like that. Maybe it was doing a certain thing before anyone else was doing a certain thing. Maybe it was a flop at the time but, looking back, it would have been the song of the summer if it had come out ten years later. Retro: This is the flip side, a song that consciously hearkens back to older songs. A song recorded in one era that wouldn’t have sounded out of place in a different, past era.

6. Bouncy, catchy, fun, in any genre. Think The Show or Bruises or Rollerblades or even Bright Future in Sales. Something to sing along to that will make me smile, while being sharp or clever enough that it doesn’t feel like pure junk food.

7. Fuzzy, buzzy, distortion-y guitars. I’m not looking for heavy metal, and I don’t necessarily need a wall of sound where the guitars dominate everything. I like vocals, so the vocals can still be pretty front and center. For examples of crunch I like, try Seven Nation Army or Supermodel or Ladykillers or Seether or even Brad Wood. Or just submit a guitar-driven song where the guitar sound is a little rough around the edges but not too screech-y and you should be fine.

8. A song from an artist or act that released no more than two studio albums and is no longer recording music today as that artist or act. If you want to submit a solo album or other side project from a member of a band, that’s fine, but only if any future albums from that solo artist or side project appear unlikely (for example, if the person’s only solo album was released eight years ago, or if the girl he was doing the side project with isn’t in the music business anymore).

9. A song with prominent male and female vocals, whether as a duet or otherwise. Backing vocals don’t count unless the backing vocalists sing a verse on their own or something like that.

10. In a parallel universe, this song was a huge hit. In this universe, it never cracked the top 100 on the US or UK charts. Maybe it’s ultra catchy and radio-friendly but slipped through the cracks for some reason when it was released. Maybe it’s the kind of thing that would go platinum in a world where Croatian beatbox is the dominant genre. This is a song that you listen to and think, “man, if more people had my good taste in music, everyone would know this tune.”

What I like

I like a bunch of stuff. Indie, country, punk, post-punk, garage, jazz, blues, electronica, synthpop, folk, lo-fi, rock, some hip-hop, whatever you call what M.I.A. does. I like catchy tunes, witty and/or literate lyrics, some measure of irony, some measure of earnestness. I tend to go fast over slow. I’m a sucker for offbeat lovelorn stuff that I can dance to. I like being able to hear the lyrics. Some favorite artists, in addition to the country stuff mentioned above and the bands linked above: The Clash, The Fratellis, Franz Ferdinand, New Order, Metric, Louis Jordan, Louis Prima, Ella Fitzgerald, Cab Calloway, composers like Cole Porter and Harold Arlen, Yuna, Zee Avi, Little Boots, passenger, Fight Like Apes, the apparently controversial-on-POG Frank Turner, Gorillaz, Los Campesinos, Lykke Li, Yo La Tengo, Stereolab, Esperanza Spalding, Okkervil River, Phoenix, Spoon, the Replacements. Used to be a giant fan of bands like Pet Shop Boys, Erasure, Alphaville, the Cure, OMD, Pulp, Momus, Barenaked Ladies, Rilo Kiley, Carter USM, the KLF, the Monkees, and TMBG when I was younger, and still hold a soft spot for them.

What I don’t like

Most R&B, soul, heavy metal, hardcore, EDM, Top 40, overproduced stuff, slooooooow and ponderous indie stuff, orchestral stuff, most classic rock (as a genre, not as a "happened to be recorded in the 60s or 70s but is really good"), and anything too lush or epic or meandering that would send Bloo all a-quiver.

Standard walrus caveats apply

Rankings may appear capricious or arbitrary to the outside observer. Reveal will be undertaken with due alacrity but may at times be sluggish or intermittent. Some restrictions apply; money back not guaranteed.

Will in this

I have to enter this for the 'Standard walrus caveats apply' line alone

the categories are nice and broad

seems like an easy in for anyone and results could produce anything...

will in for sure

Categories are fantastic

Thanks for putting that seven nation army baseline in my head

life leak - particularly given your "likes" list.

Hmmm I may have solved my too many song problem from ninja walrus

Earlier, simpler times

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/59...eveal-1336809/

.. when SYF revealed 15 categories within 20 hours.

Will in with an entry you possibly won't like

If I submit I will be coming last. Still kind of want to enter though

Doing some research now (i.e. listening to new stuff on spotify).

Walruses are an inherently probalistic game.


In it to win it!

Yeah, will in this.

Just dipped into Weatherguy's submission; one of the songs I already knew but hadn't heard or thought about in a while...it put me in a good mood.

Keep 'em coming!

Working on my list now.

Gad, before I submit...where are you from?

Nvm...i read. lol

out

Though seriously I probably won't have time to enter this

The old song I was planning to submit wasn't old enough, there seriously was music before the 1960s?

Yeah, especially since he said he dislikes 'orchestral stuff'. Pretty much only asking for [REDACTED], [REDACTED] or mayyyybe [REDACTED].

Gad, How long will the reveal last? Are we talking days, weeks or months?

Entry sent!

Depends on how many entries I get

And the "orchestral stuff" thing is more geared towards lush, string-heavy indie music

Obv I love Duke Ellington and that kind of thing, tho I admit I've never been much of a classical fan