Mmm...this is a very bloggy thing for me to post but seeing as how I don't have one, I decided to bear whatever flamers there are and post away. I know for me, it helps me keep my head up high when I write something like this after having a big losing or winning session. If some of you have tilt issues or if poker heavily affects your life, try writing out your thoughts and sharing it with people, I find it to be therapeutic and invigorating.
I played the best game of my life today and I lost! My gem of a hand and sadly the biggest pot I won:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?4325859 This has most likely been the most frustrating match I’ve ever had to endure especially after losing. There was definitely a lot of frustration and anger but once it was over, within a minute I started laughing. If anyone else saw this happen, they’d probably think I had gone crazy. But, what made me laugh was when the thought “tough life” (thanks ben) entered my head. It’s 4 in the morning, I had just finished my tirade of curses, and I find the humor in it all. Someone on the poker forums wrote something along the lines of, the day you are able to afford losing 5-10k, that’s when you know you’ve made it. 3 years ago I could not fathom playing for a thousand dollars. I was excited over winning $50 pots! I was playing $1/2 limit hold’em where you can only bet increments of $2. Now I’m bluff shoving and calling for hundreds, and sometimes thousands like today. As I was laughing about it all, I realized my life is very good! I’m living abroad, supporting myself financially, and living my life on my own accord. I don’t have someone telling me what to do and how I should live my life (well my parents but you know what I mean). I am, in a sense, in control of my life.
I realize now I should have quit earlier, not because of nonsensical advice that amateurs give, “quit while you’re ahead,” but because I had lost focus. My head was hurting and I was no longer processing what was going on clearly. It’s today I’ve realized while I may have had an edge on my villain, it was nowhere near as big as the beginning when I was playing my A game. I was relying on pure instinct and that’s a mistake. It should be a combination of body and mind, oh well, it’s an $8,000 dollar lesson learned. I believe in pushing my edges when I know I’m better than villain, however this was a difficult and swingy match, not to mention it had the potential to get very deep, which it did. Without my A game, we were pretty much coin flipping on the outcome of it all.
I say it’s my best game I’ve ever played because I made so many good decisions, bluffs and hero calls, in the heat of the match. I think this game best displays my talent for not only heads up hold’em but for poker in general. Aside from the first hand of the match, which was pure gut,
http://www.pokerhand.org/?4325755 , a lot of it was played out really well on my part. I’m sure there is a lot of room for improvement for how the overall match was played, but the hands that I played that got me trouble, I managed to successfully find solutions a very high % of the time. I demonstrated intelligence, fearlessness, and heart in this game. To me this match is my proof that I am getting very good. I haven’t demonstrated mastery but I have demonstrated versatility.
I can only hope my realizations today will make me grow even more as a player but also as a person. I’m still pretty surprised that I’m taking this so well. Maybe it’s the shock of it all but I can safely say I’m not unhappy. I’m actually more unhappy about the fact that it’s 6:42am and I’ve got no one to hang out with at this hour. I know if I work hard, I will continue to make more money. It’s really about keeping your head straight while you’re in the grind right? I’m so surprisingly optimistic for my next session I don’ t know why. I just hope that I never let this game beat me down and affect my life. I hope I continue on keeping up this kind of optimism. It feels great to be able to laugh off a session like today’s. Tomorrow, or today I should say, I get to see my friend, go to the movies, eat a ****ing good dinner, and have a great time. I can barely ask for anything more.
The trap
http://www.pokerhand.org/?4325784
The hero call
http://www.pokerhand.org/?4325792
The I got a pair of 9s what the hell do you have call
http://www.pokerhand.org/?4325793
Because my ace high is probably no good here
http://www.pokerhand.org/?4325798
I liked this hand a lot. My mind was racing as I was playing this one.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?4325800
The Trap part 2
http://www.pokerhand.org/?4325803
The sadness
http://www.pokerhand.org/?4325805