You are Scottie Pippen, one of the most overrated players in NBA history. Most of your success has come riding the coattails of Michael Jordan, without whom you would have made tens of millions of dollars less in salary (and thus gone broke sooner).

In the 1994 NBA playoffs with your team in an 0-2 series hole against the hated Knicks, you refused to check in to the game with mere seconds left because Phil Jackson wanted to use you as a decoy. Luckily Tony Kukoc bailed your ass out by burying a three at the buzzer to win the game by one, thus making this embarrassing event a mere footnote in your career.

In 1999 you moved to the Houston Rockets, where you caused so much disharmony among the veteran squad that they had to dismantle the team and the franchise hasn't been the same since.

The next year you moved to Portland, once again displaying your "leadership", being on the court for one of the biggest meltdowns in professional sports playoff history as your Trailblazers blew a massive fourth quarter lead to the Los Angeles Lakers in game seven of the 2000 Western Conference Finals. The Lakers went on to win the title and four more after that. The Trailblazers haven't even won a playoff series since.

You have also acquired a reputation among waitstaff as being so cheap that you have been infamously nicknamed "No Tippin Pippen".

You are also really, really ugly. Your face looks like a totem pole on crack.

You are also broke. lol @ u

You are a w0alf and win by annoying all the non-w0alves in the forum. Later on, keyboard commando.