"I'm self employed"
"Oh really, what sort of work is it?"
"Computer stuff, maths and statistics based stuff"
"Cool"

Honestly, how hard is it to be vague about what you do?

Off the top of my head some phrases to use:
"I do cost/benefit analysis of different financial investments" (i.e. calling with JJ, raising with AK, etc.)
"I am a number cruncher for speculative investments, it's a bit like stock market analysis, but more complicated"
"It's just a boring desk job crunching numbers, I'd rather talk about you baby"

You could also lie:
"Yeah I have a trust fund so I just bum around playing online poker"

i tell ppl i am an online gaming investor

OMFG. I had a friend tell me that one minus the stupid part. He even used to play alot of 1/2 PLO8 a few years back..He was like you should withdraw all of it but 100 and start over again so you can prove you're a good poker player..


Why the **** would I want to do that you idiot!?!?!?! (This was when my br was mid 4 figures..more now obv.)

Lol thats hilarious. Cant wait till someone asks me that question so I can come out with that.


The most annoying gambling related topic of conversation for me is when people try to convince me that you can beat roulette by doubling the bet each time

Donk: "Yea but youd never lose ten times in a row. Think how unlikely that is."
Me: *Kapow*

I swear I have this conversation like once a month. Tilts the hell out of me.

Try replying "you have a 10% chance of losing 10 times in a row (if they say 20 times, 5% chance etc.) so don't risk a 10% chance for a dollar, man!"

0.1% chance of losing 10 flips no? omg here we go again...

lol people can be retards

my dad started randomly watching me when I was deep in an mtt on stars.

of course i ship it for like $4k then he's like "withdraw it all NOW"..

so he watches me go to my account etc and then sees I have $9k in and he's like WTF.

Ermm Dad.. I'm on a year out from Uni, don't work, yet go out every weekend and have bought new clothes, kitted out my room with a PS3 new flatscreen etc and you haven't figured out I've been making decent money.

Then I get my ***** step mom when she sees me playing "oh playing poker again are you" in a tone like i'm a ****ing scumbag. "your a gambling addict" etc, "you can't go a day without gambling"

**** YOU.

Obviously you don't need a therapist. Stop going.

I absolutely hate talking poker now. I played in a game for 3 years at highschool about once a week, and we always used to talk poker. Of course none of us knew how to play, or were really into it. Now people who I once thought were "at the top of that group" just annoy me with there ignorance of the game.

It really is an uncomfortable spot to see that you're not going to convince someone they're wrong about something.

I hate when people think poker is blackjack and are like "do you count cards!?!?" (this has probably been mentioned many times already in this thread).

My biggest pet peeve, when I'm not in a super ecstatic happy mood, friends who know I play always have to ask, what happened? DID YOU LOSE TODAY? YOU SHOULD CASH OUT IT WILL ALL BE OVER SOON!

Is there any other human activity that has a greater difference between "layman" understanding and "expert" understanding?

For example, while I'm no expert footy player, I understand the principles (move the ball quickly, highly skilled passing, tackling, etc.) obviously less well than a superstar. However, ordinary expectations and understanding of poker ("but how much did you lose?" "cash out before you lose it all" "do you count cards?") is so incredibly different to "our" understanding of poker.

I just annoy the hell out of all my friends by saying "Its just change" whenever we play a home game or I have a bet etc.

Or my favourite thing is to relate the cost of everything to how many big blinds it is for me "Pfft just buy it its only 5 big blinds"

lol.......