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| Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins. |
08-25-2006, 02:47 PM
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#136
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EuroBBVSuicideKing
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: chelsea drug store
Posts: 13,005
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
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Quote:
WOW EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD NEEDS TO CALM THE [censored] DOWN AND BE HAPPY SOMEONE CARES ENOUGH TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR JOB. CAN YOU GUYS HONESTLY SAY YOU KNEW HOW POKER WORKED BEFORE YOU GOT INTO IT EITHER?
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Amazing you play trivial pursuit? WHEN AM I GOING TO SEE YOU ON JEPOARDY, LOL
Amazing, you are a plumber? I tried to fix my plumbing once with a hacksaw and rust exploded in my eye and I had to go to the hospital. Can you believe my bad luck?
Amazing, you are a tax lawyer? If I give you my tax returns, can you do them for me?
Amazing, you are a doctor? I have been getting bluish-green patches on my taint whenever I have sex with dead people...can you help me with that?
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Zeebowned, obv.
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08-25-2006, 03:01 PM
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#137
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adept
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: SD
Posts: 1,135
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
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Quote:
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People always want to learn how to do it too or the cliche... "Hey man, what if I give you $300 of my money for you to double it, can you do that?"
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Good God I can't tell you how many times I hear that phrase and every time I do I die a little inside.
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whats the best response to this? everyone i know says this including family and friends
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Yes, I can double your $300 and I'll guarnatee it. My fee is $700 BTW.
As for being called a poker addict, I just remind them this addiction is making me money, as opposed to my old addiction: heroin.
Usually followed by awkward silence, but occasinly someone realises I'm joking and actually laughs.
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i'm gonna use this one lol
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08-25-2006, 03:23 PM
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#138
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Lucky Number Seven
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: 0EV against everyone ... seriously
Posts: 16,472
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
That's it! I will never tell anyone I play poker again!
Thanks in advance to everyone who posted in this thread.
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08-25-2006, 03:35 PM
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#139
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old hand
Join Date: May 2006
Location: \"The Foul Line\"
Posts: 1,245
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
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9) So would you say overall, you are up or down money?
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people that know i only play poker still ask me this
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08-25-2006, 03:39 PM
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#140
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veteran
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,253
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
Today I got "I guess it wouldnt make sense for me to play against you, so I will tell you my strategy. I always play two-seven because if you flop two pair or better nobody will expect it"
I said "uhhh yeah I guess that works sometimes"
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08-25-2006, 03:40 PM
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#141
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banned
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,113
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
"I always play low cards, because alot of people don't play those cards so there are more left in the deck"
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08-25-2006, 03:54 PM
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#142
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Carpal \'Tunnel
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 20,451
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
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Amazing you play trivial pursuit? WHEN AM I GOING TO SEE YOU ON JEPOARDY, LOL
Amazing, you are a plumber? I tried to fix my plumbing once with a hacksaw and rust exploded in my eye and I had to go to the hospital. Can you believe my bad luck?
Amazing, you are a tax lawyer? If I give you my tax returns, can you do them for me?
Amazing, you are a doctor? I have been getting bluish-green patches on my taint whenever I have sex with dead people...can you help me with that?
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A lot of doctors I know are constantly hounded by people for medical advice or try to discuss their health problems or whatever. I think it would be a horrible job to have to talk about with clueless idiots.
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08-25-2006, 03:56 PM
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#143
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banned
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Collectin stars from the sky
Posts: 8,811
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
Try being knowledgable with computers. Anyone time you step in to anyone's house...
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08-25-2006, 04:03 PM
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#144
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adept
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,090
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
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Try being knowledgable with computers. Anyone time you step in to anyone's house...
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Try being a poker playing computer guy. I can't have any conversations about what I do for 14 hours a day without wanting to kill myself. I don't have much to say.
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08-25-2006, 04:06 PM
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#145
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adept
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 713
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
I have dinner at in-laws house every couple of months or so. Every single time, my father-in-law and I have the following conversation:
Father-in-law: "You still playing poker?"
Me: "Yep."
Father-in-law: "People are really getting in trouble with credit cards and online gambling."
Me: "Yeah, some people have."
Father-in-law: "I watch poker on t.v. It really all comes down to luck you know."
Me: "So, what's for dinner?"
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08-25-2006, 04:11 PM
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#146
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Pooh-Bah
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 4,692
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
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Quote:
Try being knowledgable with computers. Anyone time you step in to anyone's house...
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Try being a poker playing computer guy. I can't have any conversations about what I do for 14 hours a day without wanting to kill myself. I don't have much to say.
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Yep that is me. Something my wife's boss recently asked was essentially this:
Them: "Which parts from these old, broken computers should we combine to form one working computer that would be the sole location for tons of important files."
Me: "..."
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08-25-2006, 04:13 PM
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#147
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Carpal \'Tunnel
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Solitary,poor,nasty, brutish, short
Posts: 14,545
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
My Mom had flashbacks to my father blowing thousands shooting craps back in the day.
Was really hard to get her to stop carping on it.
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08-25-2006, 04:14 PM
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#148
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Carpal \'Tunnel
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Bangor
Posts: 26,033
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
i bet you actually do get dumb questions like that if you are a doctor
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08-25-2006, 04:20 PM
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#149
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veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bend over, Baby!
Posts: 2,135
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
Try doing it like this.
Quote:
Father-in-law: "You still playing poker?"
Me: "Yep."
Father-in-law: "People are really getting in trouble with credit cards and online gambling."
Me: "Yeah, I know. That's what allows me to support your daughter's insane spending habits."
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08-25-2006, 04:21 PM
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#150
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Carpal \'Tunnel
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Toronto
Posts: 23,479
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.
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i bet you actually do get dumb questions like that if you are a doctor
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my dad is a doctor and everyone asks him dumb [censored]...
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