What do you have?

Two pair.

Which two?

Bottom two.







They're good.

Haha, I've seen this a couple of times.

just table your cards and you wont have this issue. This **** bothers me. People who just refuse to be the first to show.

I always insta table, this convo is between two fish. If I was king of all live poker I'd make the rule that if you get to showdown and don't table your hand within 3 seconds it's dead.

loooooooool

This happened at a NL10 home game I went to the other day: I go all in with a flopped set or something, some donk calls me with a gutshot or something, hits his straight and wins like a 20 dollar pot or something. Other donk turns to me and says "I bet you feel like killing yourself now huh? you must be on megatilt" ... loooool why would i want to kill myself over 20 dollars? apparently that's a lot of money to some people ???

****ing morons that talk about online poker

Example:

Random guy:

I played a 2$ sng online , its rigged

Rd guy 2 :

Oh yeah , I've seen AA vs KK vs AK once what are the odds of this happening in live.

Me : Trying to find something to clean the blood on my fists.

LOL

Morons that say "I gotta call you" when you raise all in 3x the pot and they hit their flush draw, never will they fold.

people who tank in a limit game every hand

old nits who shortstack

dealers who pitch the cards 5 feet away from you

old ladys that run good

Old people who think they have a read on you because of your preflop betsizing.
I'm on a heater for the first hour I sit down, I pick up AA twice on the button, 4 or five limpers in a 1/3 game, I make it $24 all day, cbet flop, gg me.

I'm utg+1, I pick up AA and raise to $11(because there are no limpers obv) kxxxx board, I barrel 3 streets old lady has KQ. She's like oh so you raise $30 with air and $11 with AA. I said yes.

I love the guys who bet the river, and then whenever they are called, they instamuck like OMG WTF. "i missed"

People will call flushdraws for any size of the pot and then say they were getting pot odds.

My favorite is when you have a few young regs who keep raising the button (playing poker) and the old people start whining because they can't see cheap flops.

The guy who sits next to you, who laughs in disgust whenever people bet, tanks for 20 seconds showing you his second pair+gutshot and mucks like he's making a hero call.

Next time you get AA raise to $69

the one card show, some moron did that to me with JJ on JTTxx board while betting 1/20th of the pot against my J9s I called the river and he shows one jack .... 20sec later smiles and shows the other jack

happens, people play poker where I play billiard all the time. there are screaming guys and stuff (huge 1c/2c blinds )

*People that min raise preflop and POT the flop.
*Dealers that mess up the side pot and when you correct them, "let me do my job" they say.
*People that fold the obvious best hand on the flop because there are 2 spades out and they did not want to lose to the flush. That's really their reasonning! One guy once folded JJ on KJ4 (two clubs) because he "did not want to lose to the flush".
*Asian floaters. Call call call, just waiting for you to check OOP on a scare card so they could pot it, regardless of their cards.
*People that call off half of their stack preflop or on the flop and c/f on the next street.
*People (read pessimists) that talk during the hand,
eg: flop is 722r, I check he bets I call. Turn: 10. I check, he goes "arg you got me, check". Sometimes it's their body language that gives this away. But it's okay, more free money for me.

HOWEVER, in the above example:

Flop 722, I c/c his standard 1/3 pot c-bet

Turn: 10, I check, he checks while shaking his head

River: A, I bet big, he goes "arghh.. alright, here, gift" and calls your bluff with 75o or pocket 3's or some sh&t.

people that bet the same amount on every street no matter how big the pot is... theres 50 in the pot on the flop, villan bets 15, villan bets turn 15, villan bets river 15. insta tilt.