Cashgame: Donk A wins large pot and starts stacking his chips. Everyone knows that Donk A now has the most chips at the table.

Donk B: "Well boys, we have a new chip leader!"

People that call the floor because I'm masterbating with my free hand.

People who cry because the board came AK363 and they folded their 36o pre-flop to a 10BB raise. "I had 3-6! I had 3-6! God Dammit!"

I can't believe nobody has said this one yet...

#50 or whatever: The "regulars" at commerce/[insert casino] that will post/blind sit 1 orbit, sit out, proceed to walk around for 45 minutes doing god knows what, come back, play one more orbit and then repeat the sitout process. Also, this person plays a 10/0/0 style so they are essentially an open seat that the floor will not lift, especially since they are a "regular".

#51: Guys that double up, sit out for 45 minutes (likely jacking off knowing they just won a pot), come back afterwards and then rack up saying "their work is done for the day". JUST INSTALEAVE IF YOURE GOING TO AND DONT WASTE A SEAT

gross

I love fish/donks that wear sunglasses. 99% of the time that I see this they sit on top of their head and only put them on when they have a monster. This is usually done right before they raise.

I hate it when people stare me down and I'm not even in the hand.

(sucking out on a know-it-all poker player is da ish)

**** that. i do this all the time

The one about people talking about things that have happened to them in other casinos around the world is really tilty. As if anyone gives a sh*t. Especially when you get effectively an entire verbal HH with of course no relevance to anything else in the history of poker, and just when the chat's died down and you can start to regain your sanity some other c*nt on the table chimes in with either a) "Of course he could have had XX in which case you'd have been drawing dead" thus kicking off more of the same conversation; or b) "That reminds me of a time when...." and the table is treated to another ten minutes of f*cking rhubarb. Makes me want to apply scold's bridles to the c*nts.

nerds who talk about pot odds and equity is so annoying.

What the hell?

hate = that

Any decision lasting over 20 seconds in a limit game.

Villian limps, Hero raises, blinds call, villain tanks........

die in a grease fire.

GTFO I do this not because "I" am going to give off tells you idiot. I do this because my opponents will give off tells and if I am looking at my cards. I can not see how their reactions are when they look at their cards.

+11111111111

I recall playing online Monopoly where this c*nt would do that every turn that went her way. We both had houses/hotels and it was heads up. It was build to the max so the next person lands loses. Everytime she would pass by my houses she would type in something like "lololol sorry". I land on her railroad, "sorry", I pass Go and hit the Income Tax... "lol, sorry", she lands in jail when I have houses on the green, "LOL" - "sorry". Want to choke the bitch.

Oh and,

*People that have death breaths.
*People that take up their entire space -or- douche bags that sit sideways so that the whole table has to squeeze in and when you ask them all to "please move a little", they all nod their heads but don't move an inch. You ask again and they get offended.
*People that want your opinion on a hand and start off with "so check this, I have Ace-Jack and there is a raise....". I mean FFS, IF YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU, what was your position? What was his position? How much was the raise? How many callers? What were the stack sizes? What did he look like? Etc. He usually don't remember any of that and says something like "oh umm middle position". And then they continue with "The flop gives me trips, I'm first to act,... I CHECK" with the hand gesture and a big smile on his face like he was pulling the most deceicful move in history.