lol.

I meant people who call time when they're not in the hand.

Even more reason to get the hand over and on to the next one.

If you're not in the hand you should shut the **** up.

I've heard some ****ing shiners today...

people who don't shower or use deodorant before playing poker. Seriously the dollar store has a degree stick for a dollar. Stick it in your car so i don't have to SMELL you while playing!

I'll call clock on you then too. Just play man. If youre taking more than 2 min it's highly likely you're just wasting everyone else's time.

I hate in when you win a hand and the guy stands up, unzips, and drops his hairy balls on his chips and says, "Go ahead. Take 'em!"

Oh, wait ... that was me .... and I was REALLY drunk.

Had some ****ing doucheclown at 1/2 today with a hoodie, cap and wraparound sunnies on.

Then when he keeps getting aces, he goes to the dealer, "I'm getting too many aces, you should shuffle the deck"

??????

I eventually shove my short stack. Win. And he goes, now you have double the FOLD EQUITY

HOW ****ING HIGH ARE YOU?!?!?

I only heard about this, but it apparently happened.

Old man in seat #1 won the hand, scooped in the pot, AND seat #2's stack who had folded preflop.

I would demand more than was scooped, in that situation. Just to make sure I was fairly compensated. Not my eff up.

I grow my own. So ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwASii2f5c8

I pretty much get to smoke as much as I want, since I don't sell it.

Or I give it away. Or trade. Legal now, I qualify.

Uh huh.. If you're playing for significant money, then yes if you're not in the hand you should keep quiet..

But when you're playing low stakes and one of those sunglasses, earphone, hoodie wearing clowns is tanking every time the action is on them, call the clock on that moron and stop him from wasting the time of everyone else at the table.

Sounds like most people go on tilt when other people play bad and / or when they get their money in good.

Something does not compute...

We have a winner

i worked with a girl like that once, always saying sorry. had to drive us from london to cardiff once and she said sorry 19 times from pulling up outside her gaff to the motorway 3 miles away. i have no idea how she survived that journey.

I got one from yesterday @ Tampa Hard Rock. I was playing $1-$2NL, this old guy sits down, wearing a Pokerstars jacket, the biggest headphones EVER and had a tablet computer. The dealer had to get his attention EVERY hand when it was on him, he would then have to unstack ALL his chips, pick out the lucky one (I guess that was why he did this) and then finally act. At showdown he would wait for the other person to show and then would
s l o w l y roll over his hand 1 card at a time, least important card 1st, winning card next after an eternal wait! Still tilts me even thinking about this!!!!!

For some reason I get tilted when I have complete ******s at the table.
Eg. a guy to my left, taking 30-40 seconds to fold pf to a big raise and then huffing and puffing when the flop comes 237r, telling me that he had A2 and shouldn't have folded.

I can never get a hand against people like this, and they always go busto before I can take a piece.

TL;DR fishes tilt me when the only thing I get from them is a headache

People apologizing to me for sucking out will put me on instant tilt.

I usually snap back and tell them that if they are really sorry then they should ship me the pot.

Always in the same position. Guy was stacking off with bottom pair the other night, I managed to get one pot against him where I runner runnered a flush and jammed the river, he calls with 58 on a 69xxx board and proudly declares a straight....

Security guards who ask for ID tilt me pretty bad.

There's this like 90yr old guy that plays at the local casino I go to occasionally. He's like partially blind or something and has this aid with him constantly who whispers his cards to him. So tilting because he always TAKES FOR EVER, only plays 1$//2$ shortstack and his range is only like .. AA, KK, AK, AQ and AJ.

This one time I was in a pot with him and the board was like.. A,10,6.. he had raised pf and I called with 69 and got a couple of calls so the pot was slightly under his stack. For some reason I could "feel" the 9 comming on the turn. He shoved the flop and I thought about it for a bit...told the guy next to me "I feel that 9 comming", called... BAM the 9 hit and I was like.. 2 PAIR.. SHOW ME YOUR AK. The guy next to me lost it, he was like.. HE SAID THE 9 WAS COMMING WTF. The old nit showed his AK and the table exploded. and his aid was like ***** glaring me down the rest of the time.

I dont mind so much my call because I was deep and I had been hitting alot of 2pairs that night.... any chance I have to bust old nits I'll take it. My tax dollars going to waste.

I hate people who play like 1 or 2 hands an hour and then tank for the longest time when its like.. Axx board or a board you clearly know they hit TP.

wow you sound like a massive fish

+1

I am

I have too much respect for your avatar to retort though.