When you windup in a short-handed table filled with 20-y-o internet "pros" who all happen to be buddies and check down hands against each other. You know you shouldn't be playing there but it's a 15 minute walk to the parking lot in the casino and an hour ****ing drive back home.

That's a long walk to the lot.. prolly need some juice on the way.

$4 Mothaf****** Dollas - ARE YOU CRAZY!!!

That's weird. The exact opposite pisses me off. People who have to have some bs sort of card protector. They usually look at their cards before the action gets to them, make up their mind about what they are gonna do, put their card protector on, wait until the action gets to them, then take it off, look again, and take their action (which is normally just folding). Card protectors slow the game a ton, imo.

As long as your cards are well behind the betting line, what's the difference? I just put my cards adjacent to my stack and be done with it. Never once has a dealer mucked a hand I did not want mucked and I played almost 2000 live last year.

What are you talking about? All im saying is that if you cant afford 5 bucks to buy a Pepsi in a restaurant, then you probably shouldnt go there in the first place. Bringing your own drink is really really really pathetic and not balla at all. I mean what are you gonna do if you go to a really expensive restaurant with some hot chick? Are you gonna bring your own meal, too?

Oh and btw, why dont you just order a glass of water instead of Pepsi? Im sure that'll be much cheaper..

"When I buy a meal in a restaurant, it's usually much more expensive than what I could have got if I bought it in a supermaket. Therefore, I like to bring my own meal at the restaurant, that's just being smart."

You still have to pay for the service though... Again it's -EV

The best move here is to stay at home, where 95% of what you drink and eat, you got it out of the trash. Just like that 2+2er, back in 2006 --->http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/show...65&an=0&page=5

played at a table with to guys in their late 40s from israel in vegas last summer. they are both pretty hammered, like the rest of us. Turns out one of them is a local hero back home, some sort of musician, and the other one is his manager. the "popstar" is has greasy thinning hair in a ponytail, a doughnut and is a pretty unlikable guy. His manager is a fat ****er who talks non stop about all sorts of uninteresting crap and brags about all the women he has "laid down".

The game in question is 2/5 nlhe, and they both have around 130bb. the popstar opens from co, his manager 3b, i 4b, the popstar calls, manager shoves and we all get it in. Holdings; J9s, 1010 and i have KK. Board runs out 8s10sQsxx. And here comes the good part:

After counting on his fingers and finaly figuring out that he has straightflush, the popstars stands up, walks out on the floor and starts singing a local "happysong". His manager joins in and starts to dance some sort of a ****ing chickendance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdFIX...eature=related

Needless to say, i got pretty tilted..

This one has probably been said about 1000 times already but it is fresh in my mind from a few days ago and was one of the few times I was actually put on tilt by a fish.

Raise on the BTN with KQ
Fish in the BB calls

Flop 8 4 4
Standard C-bet
Fish calls
Turn J
Check
Check
River K
Bet 1/2 pot
Fish tanks and groans about his luck than continues to say, "Here I'll give you a gift because you're running bad" (I was up about $650 after a few hours, most of it his)
Calls
I flip over my KQ
Fish says "Oh wow, you were representing pocket J's with that check" (No I wasn't you f***ing idiot)
He flips over one 2 than the 4 10 seconds later.
It wasn't quite as bad because I was still up a fair bit, but if I was stuck I would've had to leave the table. It all worked out though, I felted him an hour later .

I literally laughed out loud when I read that.

When bitches need to take out a ****ing calculator when the total of my purchase is $14.37 and I hand her a twenty, two toonies, a quarter, a dime and two pennies (Hint: that makes $24.37)

You were taking advantage of the local supermarket's sales on packs of 24 juice cans ?

You're a canadian? That explains things..

That explains how we are far superior to y'all in pretty much everything in our quality of life.

Yea, the quality of your life is so high that you cant even afford to buy a $5 Pepsi in a restaurant, eh

free healthcare sounds a lil better than drinking a soda to me

http://www.mercer.com/qualityoflivingpr#city-rankings

Our 4 major cities rank higher than the highest U.S. city, which is Honolulu at #29.

NO U.S. cities in the top 50 for Personal Safety, compared with 5 Canadian cities in the top 20.

We are also the 8th happiest country in the world and 7th best (U.S.A. no where near the top 10).

U.S.A. wins as one of the most economically competitive. But that's only because some of the world's largest multi-national corporations are U.S.-based and U.S. corrupted tax laws favor the top 0.1% richest while the median population slaves away.

All that was before your government took away online gambling.

GOD BLESS CANADA!

This happened to me as I bubbled for the satellite for the ANZPT gold coast. Only $2.5k on the line, fish consults her standing observer with JJ and calls my 3BB shove from CO as I hold A9. I was such a gentleman then but now I regret not ripping both of their heads off.

Ocean,

You need to relax.
If the country is so great, id say you should be enjoying it, instead of posting about it like the rest of the miserable world.

Just my 2 cents.

Lol @ drinking anything other than water wine or beer with meals. Juiceboxes ffs

I'm seriously considering making a "TheOcean, biggest juicebox" thread.

You're ****ing right I'll be enjoying it! I just like to rub it in a bit to all the ignorant flag-waving Americans who think they are they ONLY country in the world and worship and support their government's corrupted policies and wars.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go play in the traffic now (since healthcare is free here).

Oh wait, maybe I will log in to my online Poker site and place a few bets on football.

Or maybe I shall light up a spliff while waving at a cop, since it's legal.

Should I instead go get hammered on some mother ****ing strong CANADIAN beer that does not taste like horse piss? Since it is Thursday...

Or perhaps I should go play the greatest sport on the planet.

Maybe go skateboarding in the Subway stations, because they are so big and clean and safe here.

If nothing else I can hit up a strip joint because they women are hotter and they'll let you touch they titties and vaginas for 10 bucks a song.

If I'm too lazy to step out, I will log in to some American chat rooms and see how many I can convince that I live in an actual igloo. And then spell 'about' ABOOT only to piss them off.

it seems canada has it's own version of the south

I should hate this post.

But... I love this post.

things that players do to tilt you= win