The funniest is when they reload after they lose their stack in a hand which (for whatever reason) pissed them off. Then they open-shove and say things like "alright then, let's play" or whatever. 8 folds later and they show KK. Yeah, nice job.

This made me laugh. I bet you were on tilt for a week.

massages = rhythmically moving your hand and your chips super slowly along as the masseuse pummels u

often the massagee will just fold after rifling through a gazillion chips like he was about to do anything bc hes in such sensual ecstasy from the fat minority rubbing him

Last night i was at a 1/2 table where there was $15 in the pot on the river on a board of 33332...guy bet $10 other guy tanks so long he has the clock called on him...took up all of the clock time, finally called and they chopped the same A high kicker

two weeks ago this guy insisted that a Jack always comes with a 6 so you should always play J6...later in the session I find KK and raise his blind to 5x he calls...Flop is J23, he bets I call...turn is a 6, he bets I raise, he snap shoves, I fold he shows J6

3 hours later i still had a nice stack and he was broke obv

Lol did he tap the table and say nh as 1/2 the pot was scooper to him?

Sunglasses is so ghey.

Idiots that think there awesome coz they have wathed all 6 seasons of hsp and wana live vicariously through guys they would turn gay for. **** like trying to make straddles live, giving insurance, and spending ten mins asking the dealer if they can run it twice. ok we get it, you have pokertube bookmarked, shut up.

I would call clock every hand as soon as it got to him!!!

1. People who give bad beats and insist on apologizing even though i don't care, telling me "i just had a feeling it was coming" or "i thought you had this or that blah".

2. People who do the DN and say "I knew you had that", or "thats what i figured you had" like every time someone shows their hand.

3. People who try to correct other peoples play even though they dont know them and hardly know what they are talking about themselves.

4. People who cry about bad beats they took from the night before. I especially hate when two people start to exchange bad beat stories. Sometimes instead of tipping the dealer I want to use that 3 bucks to buy them a box of tissues.

5. Not really a type of person but I remember this one guy a the table was so cocky he kept saying he could beat the best in the world if he had the money, mind you he was going broke at a 4/8 limit table. And he kept declaring himself "the world's sexiest asian."

sunglasses are a great tell though, tells me this guy plays alot of poker but probably isn't that good. I mean seriously what kind of idiot sits with sunglasses at 1000nl or less live. Sadly, the smaller stakes is usually where you'll find sunglass wearers.

whenever you win a hand, villan says "nh" taps the table (w/e that means) and mucks.

I do this to keep things light and it will often get my neighbors showing or telling me what they had.

Same as "Good luck Allin"!

As for the sunglasses I hate the look but it saves my eyes from the lights.

This really tilts me... some 500 lb guy sitting next to me in AC at a casino who can only fit one ass cheek on the chair while drinking a 62 ounce big gulp.. also his leg sticks out kicking me every minute..

buy in twice you fat tards

This old lady bought in for $40 at the 1/2 NL. UTG raises to $12, she calls, I call and BB shoves for a little over $50. UTG folds, old lady folds, I call with my trash only to teach the short-stacking scumbag a lesson (and because I am table captain), the other guy folds.

The board runs: brick-brick-brick-brick-A. Villain had deuces and I hit my pair. The old lady then claimed to have AK. I believe her. She went on saying how she *knew* he had a pair and you're never sure if an Ace or King will flop. This is the same woman that once flatted a 3bet in a Turbo $25 tourney for 1/3 of her stack and folded to a shove, also claimming to have had AK.

people who bitch about bad luck when they suck at poker.

really stupid players.

1. The know it all poker player kills me every time. I deal and I constantly get a rules lesson from what they heard the night before on HSP or PAD. They look for the exact opportunity to use what they learned last night to show their "poker knowledge." And then when I explain to them they have completely misunderstood the rule and call over the floor they proceed to tell us we have no idea what we are talking about because " I have played poker all over the world."

2. The showdown when either A. the 2 minute stare off or B. the 1 card flip at a time has to be one of the most annoying aspects of poker

3. The show one show all rule that is way overused considering it was used to prevent collusion or at least it used to be, its terrible poker etiquette and what the hell are you going to do with the information anyway