If your on a draw just say your on a draw
If you have a made hand speak up and show
These should be standard rules

people who think they have _great_ reading skills when you shove...and proceed to ask you several ******ed questions...tank for what seems like an eternity, and then fold like they didn't mind doing it.

Haha compelling story

Today I was playing live poker for one of the first times ever. It got folded around to the sb (i was in the big) and the guy gave me a walk.

Right after he threw his cards in the muck he quickly pulled them back towards him and asked me if I wanted to chop (apparently he didn't realize it got folded around to him, which I can sympathize with given that this almost never occurs at 1/2).

I said no, and that I would have wanted to play regardless of what he had done. He told me that "that was one of the lowest things I've ever seen at a poker table" and that "people don't do that up north. they have respect". Several people at the table agreed with him. I hate live poker

On another note, that same guy made the worst call I've ever seen. There was a one liner to a straight flush on the river and this old guy lead out for 20 dollars into and 8 dollar pot (lol). The d-bag min-raises to 40. The old guy shoves. 600 dollar effective stacks. The d-bag tanks and calls. He had the A of hearts, the old guy had the straight flush (he had the king of hearts in his hand too, which he flipped over first. I don't think it was an intentional slow roll though)

Yep, there are people in 1-2 that cannot play poker

In my first casino experience about a month ago...

I sit down at a 1/2 limit table. A jaunty 20 something guy sits to my right and immediately starts blabbing to everyone at the table. I'm polite and smile at his stupid jokes because its my first time and I'm a bit nervous. Soon he starts making guesses about his opponents hands during the hand.

Jackass: "You have QT. No wait wait wait AJ. No you probably have 87" He was wrong every time

Then he starts making guesses on people's hands when he isn't even in the hand.

THEN he starts calling that he won the pot before the hand is over and people flip their cards and the dealer decides.

Jackass: "I win. I win. I win. I win. I win. I win. I win." As people stare at him. Ill he damned if he didn't win that hand too. I wanted so badly for the other guy to flip the nuts.

Later that night I see him at a NL table completely broke.

^^ Every story has a happy ending

Last night at Harrahs Chester, this hispanic dude who boasts about playing cards for 20 years tells me how much he hates pocket Aces, and how it has been proven that Q6 hits the most flops. I told him if he wanted we could go over to the racetrack area and deal our aces vs. Q6 100 times for 20 bucks a pop if he wanted or any amount of cash. I kept insisting I'm ~86% to win everytime. I should have just agreed with him and continue to take his money, but it was 6 AM, and I couldn't stand this moron.

Things people probably already said in this thread:
"I hate pocket Jacks"
"I had to call I was pot committed"
People who laugh after everything they say.

even if he believes q6 hits the most flops he probably doesnt believe its a favourite over aces, DUCY?

No he honestly believed it was a favorite over Aces. Idk if it was an angle or not, so I told him lets go over there and go 2k a deal. AA vs. Q6 heads up. He got up off the table and came back with 3 1k chips, it was hilarious. You should see the idiots at Harrahs Chester, its a ****ing fish farm,

and you didn't agree to this why?

Agreed, I genuinely laughed hysterically while reading his post.

People who take it upon themselves to be the "table comedian"
this one guy nicknamed "crabs" would tank all the time then go I FOLD! HAHAHA knowing full well he was going to fold 5 ***** mins ago!!!>!>!>!

also people who go "oooooo!!" every single ***** time someone raises

Looking back on his post i think i embarassed myself a bit, i dont know how their are any parts i didnt bold.

.

Also, when people go "ooooooooooo" everytime there is a AAA flop or a 986 kind of flop.

When the dealer knows somebody at the table and the two of them won't STFU...

I was at a hold em' table and the dealer and his buddy started talking about an Omaha hand dealer had just dealt at his previous table.... I look down and see KK, then look up to see two more cards coming my way... Misdeal... ****** dealer had his mind on Omaha and forgot what game he was dealing.
Unfortunately one person said that he had looked at the extra cards he had been dealt and for some reason the floor decided that it should be re-dealt rather than just letting us keep our hole cards and washing the rest of the deck. I'm sure that's the standard decision in that situation, but I had to leave after that.

I can deal with almost anything that another player does at the table, but I cannot put up with incompetent or inattentive dealers.

They deal 2 cards at a time?

1) When you're heads up with someone, they win the hand, then they tap the felt and say, " nice hand".

Yeah, nice hand for YOU M-Fer !

2) anyone tapping the felt to applaud. ghay imo.

No... I'm one of those guys that looks at his hole cards one at a time and this particular dealer was pitching pretty fast. (that's about the only thing this guy did well)

The third card hit me in the finger as I was looking at king #2 and that caused me to look up just as he was pitching me card number 4... That's when me and a couple others at the table said things like, "wtf are you doing?" Unfortunately by that time me and 2 or 3 other people at the table had an extra two hole cards and it was too late.

I laugh about it now because I can't believe how robbed I felt after that happened.

Anybody who makes any comment on my play...

Every live player is up there own arse, they cant just say nothing

how you never will catch up to variance running terribad. I know im stuck way too much for live last 2 years for how soft/bad they are. But it will take me 3 years to "catch my ev" if ever

Online I tilt like crazy, but live there is only one thing that really tilts me. It's the idiot that's been playing at the table for 3 hours and still can't identify the ****ing nit whom is so tight he craps diamonds.

Nit with hand range of KK-AA makes some completely stupidly lame preflop raise, idiot calls because he's clueless, I call with something like 89s to nail the nit. Flop is 3 6 7 rainbow, Nit bets 40% of the pot, then idiot goes into tank and raises 3x the pot... WTF!? I cry and fold my oesd, Nit then shoves and idiot calls. Turn is a T, river who cares, Nit turns over AA and idiot flips over A7o. Nit scoops the pot. Why, why, why do they constantly open the door?

I hate it when people laugh really hard at having the same hand as each other. What the **** is so funny about that??

Ace was flopping anyways.

Maybe you should stop folding incorrectly:

ProPokerTools Hold'em Simulation

292,572 trials (Exhaustive)

board: 673

Hand	Pot equity	Wins	Ties
89s	37.43%	109,507	0
A7o	13.10%	38,316	0
KK-AA	49.47%	144,749	0