Omg too funny

"He thinks for about 30 seconds, then shrugs and calls. I spread my AA on the table he nods in disappointment and reluctantly shows his 8c5c."

I don't get it was he slowrolling, or just ******ed and didnt know he had a straight...

"Almost got banned from the casino. After I had cooled down I asked him why he would call 170 preflop with that hand and he responded by saying it was because he knew what I had."

Doing this tilts me, thats a beautiful preflop call, man. Just beautiful. He definitely had the implied odds since he KNEW what you had.

More details please. It's really building up my appetite.

One guy at the casino today, all he did was check-min-raise. Top pair, second pair, preflop with AJo (limp-min-raise). That was his ultimate move. I wish all limp-min-raiser or anyone that min-raises small/medium/large bets get hit by a speeding train and become quadroplegic for the rest of their lives.

As soon as he won a bog pot (and got his stack to $1K, at the 1/2), he started raking chips. He looked like durrr.

min raising pre tilts me wtf is that??

its called quit playing limit.

he was aware he had the straight alright... Not really much of a bastard either..

I can only assume he spent 30 seconds making sure the board wasn't paired

Some people think its necesary to stare for 5 seconds at your face every ****ing street.

So i raise this random dudes blind and he turns to me and stares for 5 seconds. Then swiftly calls my bet. He then looks at me again for another 5 secs and he says "i bet". I try to be as casual as possible and call his bet, i dont even want to look at his face anymore. Again, he looks at my face and you can already hear the table coughingly laugh. This time im getting sick of this ****er and i stare back with my eyes WIDE open. He makes a bet, and i stand up with my hands on the table and take a DEEP look at his face for at least 20 seconds. The table laughs its ass off.

He quickly calls and i sit down. Now i feel he wants to stare at me again but this time im not gonna let myself tilt any longer: i move my face as close as possible to him moving in front of the dealer (which sits between me and him) and like a creeper i say: "i. will. not. let. you. read. my. soul... " and i slowly move back with my finger pointing at his face.

At this point the table bursts out in laughter and immidiatly hes like "hey man thats uncalled for".. Tilting aholes.

wow unbelievable. This story is hilarious. Literally made me laugh!!!

ROFL good one. Wish I'd seen it tbh

People who can't take being outdrawn and say nice hand to the obvious donkey.

They have to be like Helmuth,"How could you call there?" "Why did you call my raise?" "You raised with that preflop?"

Just be polite and wait for them to hand it back to you. Is it really so hard to have basic manners?

I'd be pissed about being slow rolled, otherwise you can't really get mad at someone who is too stupid to know better

False

At a live game I've seen people do this, I don't actually think they are slowrolling, I think they are just ******ed.

One evening in a cash game 2 people went all in, third guy who incidentally was last to act, goes into the tank.

Someone tells him hurry up and he says "I know I know I got the nuts but I'm just trying to think what the other two could have"

He said it in a non slowroll way, the sort of way where, he really is trying to figure out what the other two have as a sort of intellectual challenge.

His hand ends up holding obviously as he eventually tables top set, then pulls the pot in calmly probably thinking about what a prodigy he is.

i tilt at people who tilt at other peoples ignorance

only one thing tilts me:

people that dont know how to use a bar of soap and deodorant

After reading this thread I hate humanity even more than before.

IM UHHHHHHH IN~~

always 1 nub who NEEDS to talk and comment on every hand.
or sum1 sucks out and says "sorry man"

waiting outside having a smoke while waiting for my name in the list for a game

guy comes up asks me for a smoke, sure what the hell give him one, im a nice guy

"ya, tables are brutal right now, just went broke off quads over quads"
me thinking how are you broke then, when theres a BBJ at this casino...
"ya i had King 10, and the flop was K10A, then turn K,then river A"
ya quads all right...trying not to laugh and just nodding my head

People sitting down at 1/2 NL with a max buy in of $1 chips

ur doing it wrong

chip castles ftw

+1

Slowrollers that don't ever realize they are slowrolling.

This one middle Eastern douche sitting to my left goes all in UTG for $90 at the 1/2 NL. Gets called. Acts all nervous. We'll call the caller MP.

MP instantly flips over KK.
UTG: "you're good for now, I need an Ace" (not openning his hand)

Flop: JJX
UTG: "you're good"

Turn: X
UTG: "you're still good"

Riv: X
UTG flips over a King and then a Jack.

I go ape****. I try to keep a laughing tone to contrast with my loud voice. I'm like "why didn't you open your hand on the flop you had him?". He says "I didn't have him, what if a King comes out?".

Dip**** slowrolls everyone, every single time.

dont know if this has been said but at my local casino the terrible players that think they are good just **** me off with their reasoning. example they make terrible plays and suck out on people and then give big long ***** about how this is great plays and i am just sitting their thinking that this is by far the worst poker reasoning i have ever heard. but at least i get free insight into how they play.

also in live tournaments when people with around 3BB just call pre-flop with crap hands trying to see a flop.