Good Ole Boys, Good Ole Days
August 12th, 1997 – Richmond, VA
The Summer of 1997 was one of the greatest times of my life. It was the year between freshman and sophomore year of high school, and I had no job, no worries, and me and two of my best friends, Joey and Chris, were inseparable. I had many other friends I had known for a long time, but the three of us all had one thing in common – we were all going out with girls from Collegiate. I went to St. Christopher's School, probably the nicest private school in all of the Mid-Atlantic. I had a 3.9 GPA and was a full year ahead in my classes which my dad was happy about because it was one less year that he had to pay for school. He rewarded me with a Nintendo 64 and a debit card that had a 50 dollar a day cap on it for the summer, which was huge for me at the time – I even had a flip cell phone. One thing he would not buy me was a car, but then again, I wasn't 16 until October, so I wasn't sweating it. I also wasn't sweating a car because Chris was old for our grade, and had gotten his driver's license back in April, so I basically had a free driver as long as gas was paid for. I would swipe the card at the gas station once a week and 14 dollars would fill up that tank with no problem. We did drive a lot as we lived in the Near West End, a ritzy older area of town near the school, and our girlfriends lived in the Far West End, where houses were a little newer, but it was near the James River, a very nice area. We would usually drive out there and hang out with them in one of their houses, or pick them up and go out in the country between Richmond and Charlottesville. All of our parents were divorced, and we all lived with our mothers who worked 9-5 jobs, so we would just lie about where we were going and stay up as late as we wanted. We had also recently discovered weed and had been smoking on a regular basis.
On August 12th, we had planned to do our normal trip out to hang out with the girls, and we all got ready at my mom's house where we all kept duffle bags with our stuff in it. We were always on the move, it was like a constant session of hanging out, video games, smoking, hanging out with the girls. I called Lisa, my girlfriend, and asked her if they wanted to go to the lake house. Lisa was not only hot, her parents were disgustingly rich. They had a 12,000 sq foot house about a half hour outside of town, and owned the 50 acres across the street that had a natural lake and a cabin sitting on the edge that was the site of many parties. At their house, they had tennis courts, indoor squash, a movie theater, and a mint condition 1986 Ferrari Testarossa in Arrest Me Red. At the time it was the sexiest car I could think of and I would just go into her garage and stare at it for long periods of time. Her parents were out of town and told her to just drive one of their cars around even though she was 15. Even though I was also 15, I could drive a manual no problem and had dreams of taking that thing for a spin tonight. We had agreed to meet up at 8, so we left my place around 730.
The drive up was just me dreaming of finding the keys to that car and taking it out for a spin on the winding country road outside their house. Honestly, I just wanted to sit in it and feel like Don Johnson in Miami Vice cruising the streets of Miami Beach. Chris's dad had a hand me down 88 Volvo 740 Wagon, and it was great for road trips with a ton of people because of the 3rd row seating or to just sleep if you were drunk. I was riding shotgun as always and Joey, who was smaller, would always have his head poking into the front area, talking about the plan for the night. Joey was talking about how he was going to violate his girlfriend Lizzy like a parking meter, but we laughed because Joey was about 5'7 and she was 4 inches taller, something he was very self-conscious about. He naturally had a Napoleonic complex about it and make some joke about his dick making up for the 4 inches, but we knew it got to him. We rode up River Road, taking the turns like a bat out of hell – Chris had become quite the drifter with his Volvo.
We finally got there and they were all dressed up, and being 15 we were always anxious to get into their pants as soon as we could. We sat on their porch in the hot humid Virginia summer night and smoked a couple of bowls and all I could think about was the Testarossa, not them getting in the pool half naked, or hooking up with Lisa, just a red Ferrari in a garage. I was giggling like a schoolgirl and in my heightened state asked her if we could go in the car. I told her I wouldn't even put the key in the ignition. She finally gave in and we got in the car together, and I was in a state of shock. I depressed the hand brake and tried to push in the clutch, but it was so stiff I had to use both feet to get it down and the car started to roll a bit. I freaked out and let it go and the car stopped before hitting the garage door, THANK GOD. I realized I wasn't ready to drive a Ferrari but I did try to put the key in her ignition, but it didn't quite get to that point.
Around 11pm, Lisa's older sister, who I had never met, had come home with her boyfriend from college and clearly was annoyed there were a bunch of high school kids partying at the house. Our night was seemingly coming to an end when Chris came up with what I thought was a great idea.
“Let's put powdered Tide in the water fountain at Fork Union!”
Chris had gotten bad grades in 8th grade, and his parents decided to send him off to a year at Fork Union Military Academy for freshman year. Not much freedom, no women, curfews, it was just to get him disciplined. He hated that place and he was going to come back to St. Chris this year. He definitely wanted to leave his stamp on the place, and we were bored teenagers and a road trip seemed like a great idea. We headed back over to Broad Street to head West and realized we had to double back to Wal-Mart in Short Pump a few miles back. On our way back, we passed new construction for a commercial complex that was a two mile loop. Chris was in the mood to go joyriding through the area, and we were running over medians, stealing cones, and doing donuts in this empty winding road. After 30 minutes, we decided to stick to our original plans and headed to Walmart first. Joey really wanted to drive, and Chris had gotten tired of being the DD all the time, so he happily switched places, and pulled out onto Broad Street.
We didn't make it a mile before we had headlights behind us. I was one of those people that could tell a car in the dark just by its headlights, and it was a Crown Vic. I told Joey and Chris and Chris was relatively calm but Joey was freaking out as we got lit up, telling Chris he they should switch seats as he was slowing down and I should hold he steering wheel, but Chris just put his hands up like “how the **** was that going to happen?” Joey slowed down to a stop on the shoulder and we were all sober, but we had weed in the car which we were freaking out about. It seemed like 10 minutes before the figure from the Goochland County Police cruiser walked towards us.
“What're you boys doing out here?” He was very nice, and unlike Henrico County and the city, there was no curfew of 11pm for minors. We told him that we were going to Fork Union to a friend's house nearby, but went back to get some food in Short Pump.
“You guys smoking any WACKY WEED?” The way this guy was talking was almost Super Trooper-esque in retrospect. We started laughing and lied that we didn't do any of that stuff. Things went south when he asked for Joey's driver's license.
“I don't have one sir, I have a learner's permit.”
“Well you know it's illegal to be driving in Virginia without a valid driver's license, and you need an adult present to drive on your permit?”
“Yessir, I'm sorry. I know it's wrong.”
He then asked for the insurance and registration from Chris, after he figured out he was the only legal driver in the car. He said in was in the glove compartment, the same compartment that his cassette tape holder and the BAG OF WEED was in. I was in the passenger seat, so it was my job to get it out and play it cool. I had two lights flashing on me now as an officer was shining his light through my window and I had to get the registration underneath the cassette holder while keeping the bag out of sight. No chance, the bag popped out and the officer trained his light on it.
“What's in that bag there boy?” The officer had asked me but I said nothing and pulled it out as he demanded, hoping it was all gone. Nope, no chance as I handed the other officer about an eighth of weed and he examined it carefully. Immediately, I could hear Joey and Chris explain to the officers why they had lied, that they were really sorry, and I remember just sitting there facing forward, not saying a thing. For a while, I thought I was going to get off, as apparently they had been watching us with night vision as we tore apart that complex and took cones. They said they didn't see me do anything, that I must be the saint of the group. After they discussed some things with their sergeant, they told us to exit the car and put us in handcuffs on the bumper of the Volvo. I will never forget what handcuffs feel like. They were tight enough that I had to bend over to ease the pressure of them cutting into my wrist. I looked at Chris and Joey, and they were on the verge on tears. I remember just feeling depressed and numb.
“Listen boys, you aren't going to jail tonight, we need your parent's numbers, and they are going to come and get you.” We proceeded to give out our numbers and they said all of our moms were on their way. I had no idea how my mom was going to react, but I saw Chris and Joey's moms lose their mind like they had shamed the family. I remember them pointing a finger at me like I was the ringleader, I just didn't say a word. I'm pretty sure Chris's mom was drunk, I'm surprised she didn't go to jail. Finally, my mom came and she was very quiet, almost ready to cry. She asked me why I had done this, and I told her I had no explanation. They released me out of handcuffs and let me go, and at 3am my mom and I had an awkward 45 minute drive home.
“Liam, why would you do this? I just don't understand why you would want to smoke marijuana.” My mom and I were very close and she was very cool, but she was upset about the situation. I said that I knew that her and my dad were smokers in their day, but she said it was different then. She wasn't that mad, just disappointed. I felt as though she didn't want to do anything about it, but she felt an obligation to punish me. She told me she was shipping me off to work in NY at her friend's restaurant once I knew what I was facing from the charges of vandalism and possession of weed. I went up to the Goochland County Sheriff's office with my mom, without Joey and Chris, and they offered me a deal of 2 months suspension of my learner's permit, 40 hours community service, and a $100 fine. That was a deal – they told me they were going easy on me because they knew I went to St. Chris and this could get me in more trouble there if it were more public. The detective wrote it on a 3 x 5 index card, and said he would rip it up as soon as all 3 terms were met. Nothing on my record, it was like they swept it under the carpet. I felt great about the whole ordeal, but little did I know this would be nothing compared to what I had to face in the coming week.
