I did mention it briefly but I was actually going to save it for a flashback. I dated her daughter who had moved down to see Izzy (her daughter) because she had lost custody. I had known Sally since 2011, but I became closer friends with her while I was seeing her daughter, and basically best friends since early 2014. I know that sounds like something only in Florida, but weird **** happens here.

I'm pretty sure she is back in Michigan living in her abusive ex's trailer doing coke - everyone knows it snows in Detroit this time of year.

Flashback - 2012 - City Boy Meets Country Girl

Sarasota/Fort Myers, 2012

At the end of 2011, I had gotten my financial life back on track, and was well on my way to finishing up my 4 year degree. At Connecticut College, I had amassed 90 out of 128 required credits, leaving me with 3 semesters, but since I had decided to transfer, I was basically losing a year. To add to that, the USF branch near where I lived did not offer International Relations as a major, I had to pick between some pretty bare offerings. I decided to do this 100% online - no driving up through town multiple days a week, and could do all my work on my own time. I was mostly driving south and either doing work in the Fort Myers area, or hanging out with a new girlfriend at the time. She worked for FDLE in the fingerprint division and I can remember our first date was walking by the Caloosahatchee River in downtown Fort Myers, and we hear chanting and yelling. On the other side of the bridge that crossed the river was a group of people organized together in tents and a sign that said "Occupy Wall Street". We had our first argument when she told me they were criminals, and I defended them, saying that they had a right to be angry.

After a few months, we just weren't seeing eye to eye, and I didn't think I could ever date someone in law enforcement. It was around this time I started playing live poker regularly and would often go to Immokalee just because I liked being out in the country. I wouldn't even take the main country roads, I would take side roads and just get there when I did. At the time, I had my Lexus SC300 with the 5-speed and it was one of my favorite cars of all time. It had the perfect mix of speed, cornering, style, and luxury, and even though it was almost 20 years old, it ran like a champ. On the way home from Immokalee one night between Christmas and New Years, I took what I thought was a scenic detour and was terribly wrong. What appeared on the map as one long dirt road was really just a long drive of sandy hills, and it got progressively deeper as you got further. I couldn't back up, I would sink on the sugar sand, so I just kept going like a rally car towards my destination.

I finally landed in a deep patch of mud and sand and the car slid sideways, facing a turn in the road and stuck as ****. The wheels spun in every gear, and I finally got out and surveyed the situation. There was mud all over the chrome wheels, most of the rear, and I was wearing sandals. I checked my phone and there was no reception - thanks Sprint. Out in the Everglades only the main roads had reception in certain areas. I had to do the old walk to the nearest house and use the phone thing for AAA. The car lights were shining on some horse barn, so I walked in that direction, brought my gun and my cash with me on the walk. This area was not far off from Lehigh Acres, a sketchy community with a decent amount of crime, and a white boy in a Lexus was a prime target with no witnesses. To add to that, one of the largest swamps in the state was on one side of the road, so there were gators, bobcats, etc. The memory of the car chase with the Cubans in South Miami was still relatively fresh in my head.

I got about 100 yards in the deep sand, which felt like a mile, and I saw the lights of a pickup down at the end of the property I was walking towards. The pickup was going up and down the sand hills and pulled up next to me.

"Did your car break down over there?" The girl asked, I'm sure curious what someone was doing out here this late.

"I got stuck....I had no idea this road was a sandpit. Isn't this maintained by Collier County?"

"You're in Lee County now, but yes, it should, I haven't seen a county truck since I moved here. It would be nice if they made it drivable, I can't believe you made it this far. My name is Kelly by the way."

"I'm Liam, nice to meet you."

She was about 5'3, 110 lbs, short brown hair, and it was clear she worked on the farm. She had a rugged look about her, a lot of scars, but appeared very smart and did not have a typical farm girl mentality. Her bumper had two Obama stickers on it, something you don't see in rural Florida.

I asked her if she had a rope, and realized that was a dumb question - she lived on a horse farm. We tied the rope to the front of the car and it slid for about 50 yards and finally came to a hard shell road, and the main drag from there was about 200 yards. I had been driving for 20 minutes on this road in autocross style and missed making it by a few hundred yards. My sandals were all muddy, as were my wheels, which normally is not a big deal but if they were out of balance they would wobble all over the highway.

"Could I use your hose to get the mud off these wheels?" I felt bad asking considering it was after midnight and I knew country folk got up early.

"Sure, if you want to come on in you can - I've been up paranoid most of the night so I don't mind someone as long as you aren't creepy."

"Well I guess you won't know till you check me out - here is my driver's license." I showed it to her under light and she actually took out a pen and wrote down my name and address. I guess she took that literally, but I had nothing to hide. She noted that I was one year younger than her.

We went to the house, which was a tiny two bedroom place with 5 dogs inside. Two of the pitbulls immediately ran to me and I almost freaked out until they were begging me to pet them. She was watching TV but had no cable or dish - just what the antenna brought in. When I got back into the light of the house, I noticed just how dirty I had gotten.

"You can take a shower if you want, there's towels in the bathroom." I told her I would take her up on it, I hated getting muddy when I wasn't actually working outside. I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower and the smell was overwhelming. For those of you who don't live in Florida, there is a ton of sulphur in the ground water. Most of it is treated and is normal when coming out of a tap, but untreated water from a well smells like rotten eggs. Usually you get rock salt to add to the filtering system, but apparently she was out. The smell was not inviting, but I told myself it was just sulphur and jumped on it. It not only was refreshing but it woke me up a bit in the early morning. I got out and when I did there were some other clothes in the bathroom that were not mine, but clean.

"I put some of my brother's clothes out there for you, I threw your clothes in the washer."

"Does your brother live here?"

"No, I live here by myself - my family is in Michigan."

I put them on and felt for my pockets. That usual bulge in my back pocket was not there, and realized my wallet and gun were here somewhere. I looked over the kitchen counter and saw them both lying there, intact.

"I hope that gun didn't scare you, I keep it for personal defense only."

"The gun I am fine with, what are you doing with all that money?"

The truth was I had over $5k in my wallet, and driving at night around there, being from an hour and a half away screams like drug dealer. I told her that I was playing poker in Immokalee and was going to play in Fort Myers tomorrow. She gave me a look of mild disdain and curiosity.

"So this is your job?"

"Well, I work in the plant industry too, I do this on the side, but recently this has been making me more money. Here, google my name and see the results that come up. I'm not making up a story."

Sure enough, she got on her Iphone and looked up my name. She saw the pictures of plants, reviews of my nursery, etc. and seemed satisfied.

"I could really use some landscaping out here, I have no irrigation."

"I'll tell you this - I will bring you some nice plants for helping me out on the road, can I offer to take you to dinner?" I was saying this not as a date, but to return a favor. She accepted and told me her favorite restaurant was a Thai place actually halfway between where the two of us lived. I told her Sunday was good and she accepted. She even offered to let me sleep in the other room, which I gladly accepted as I was beat and didn't want to drive. We stayed up until 2am talking - she was from Michigan, she had a masters degree and was laid off her research job so she bought a horse farm when the buying was good. She also told me she had a stalker from Naples who had come driving around the house, so she was happy having someone who didn't seem creepy come and stay. During the course of our conversation, I fell asleep mid-sentence and woke up around 5 and heard an alarm going off. It was in her bedroom and I decided to walk over to the other room and sleep some more - after all, I had nowhere to be for hours. Walking towards the room she came out and was wearing just a small t-shirt and underwear, which looked pretty good on her. She didn't seem taken aback by my presence and I said hey and jumped into bed.

Waking up around 11, I could hear people outside and horses, dogs, goats, pretty much everything was up and moving but me. I walked outside to smoke and there were some people riding around her training circle, and they all turned their heads at me with a grin on their face. I wonder what they thought I was doing there - did they think I was a catch of the night? I jumped in the shower again to wake up, the smell of eggs I was getting used to very quickly. I got dressed in my clothes that were now washed, got my stuff and walked out to my car. I said hi to the people sitting around the track and they waved and smiled at me. Maybe she was lonely and they were happy someone was around the house? I walked up to Kelly and thanked her and told her I would see her on Sunday at the restaurant.

She smiled and turned around, focusing on her training. Was she interested in dating? Did she just want some company? I wasn't sure, but I kept my focus instead on heading down the road to the Fort Myers track and their 1-2 PLO game, it was my first time playing PLO there and was excited to see what the weekend would bring.

I'm formally requesting visual aids.

Oh snap it's WD on the TST thread!!
I can only imagine the quality of a storyline that benefited from their combined talents.
WD + TST > Chocolate + Peanut Butter

If I don't find the time to write the next part of the flashback, I will put up some pictures for you guys. At least what I have from that time.

Even if you have the time, I feel you should put pics up anyway!

So I have been searching for pictures for over an hour on Facebook, my hard drive, etc. and I can find zero pictures of Kelly. I'm even searching her friends, we didn't take many pictures. She is not someone in the poker community so I don't mind showing her pic, but I guess I'll have to find it elsewhere. I do have some pictures here from the past with Ken for now. This picture was taken at Jewfish Creek, where Key Largo starts. Can anyone tell what's wrong in this picture?

The guy in the blue shirt on the boat is pounding his pud...

Look at the red boat, and also look between the two docks there.

Here is my stack that night playing 1/2 at Immokalee. Also, some 2/5 action in Tampa, and a mixed 2/5 half PLO half holdem. I know these aren't the pics you are looking to see, I just wish I could find pictures of my past that are not on the hard drive.

'...This picture was taken at Jewfish Creek, where Key Largo starts. Can anyone tell what's wrong in this picture?...'

Looks like a sunken boat or car in the water. Did you kill Mike?

Mega Croc is about to attack the red boat. Super Snake is under the ripples to the left. Epic battle imminent.

LOL - This was before I knew Mike well. If you look closely, there is no one on the boat and it is floating away from the dock. The owner of the boat is the one on the dock staring into the distance. What you don't see him looking at is his brand new Suburban with just the rear hatch visible above the water. He used a travel trailer to back his boat into the water there, and after I told him it wouldn't work, he lost traction, the car spun its wheels and slid right in.

He asked Ken if he would help get his boat, and Ken replied, "don't worry, the detectives will retrieve it for you." In Dade County (Miami), if a car goes under, a dive team has to assess if there was any bodies or property within the car. They had such a problem with people "totaling" their car out or "drowning" that they investigate everyone now. I'm sure he was there all day, and wouldn't be surprised if he did it on purpose. I couldn't stop laughing, and Ken was yelling at me for not focusing on backing his truck up, he was afraid I would do the same thing.

if you want to be entertained cheap, just get a chair and some beer and sit by the boat ramp and watch clueless people loading and unloading their rigs.

Lake Havasu one time a guy was trying to load his big new speed boat, 'Plum Crazy' on the back, with his brand new Dodge 4x4 dually painted the same color as the boat, Chrysler purple plum.

Wasn't quite deep enough so the boat didn't make it onto the trailer the first try. Second try was a miss also. Third try he gave it too much gas and the bow point of the boat went through the rear glass and impaled into the dash board of the truck.

Good times.

I really enjoy your stories, but your use of the phrase "snapped off" is confusing. If you get "snapped off" that means someone felted you. I would use the term "got snap called by AK". Alternatively, you could say "shoved with total garbage and snapped off AK". But to get snapped off implies that you lost. At least that's how I understand it. I'm sort of grunching because I'm only on p. 8 so not sure if someone else mentioned this already.

I'm sure terms vary by area but if you get snapped off it doesn't mean you necessarily got felted by that hand down here. It just means that you got instantly called and whether or not you won is another situation. We just call getting felted exactly what it is - getting felted.

This story has my attention. Great job OP.

City Boy Meets Country Girl - Part 2

That Sunday evening I drove the SC down 75 to exit 164 - Punta Gorda and Arcadia. Do you ever drive on a big road/highway and wonder where the hell does this road ever end? Well a good portion of the East Coast roads find their Southern terminus in Florida. For US 17, which starts in VA, it ends right as it hits the harborfront in Punta Gorda. If you ever go to Southwest Florida, Punta Gorda is a must visit. It sits right on the mouth of Charlotte Harbor and is a very cool old town that was properly rebuilt after Hurricane Charley. It has the best Irish bar I've ever been to in Florida plus kayaking, fishing, golfing, hunting, a sweet waterfront complex, and even a few cobblestone streets. Seeing as it was settled in the mid-late 19th century, it makes it ancient by South Florida standards. To give you some perspective, Miami was incorporated in 1896 with about 500 residents and now has 3 million people in Dade County alone.

I maneuver the car down the offramp and head north for a few miles, looking out for this tiny Thai place that's supposed to be in the middle of nowhere. Kelly swears it is the best Thai food she has ever had and I want to be the judge. I was slowing down to look for what was supposed to be a tiny green house and finally see this algae colored establishment with some tacky lighting and an OPEN sign. There was parking for about 4 cars up front and it was packed, so I pulled around back and there was basically nowhere to park. I ended up parking on the side of someone's house facing the main road and walked over to the house, and when I opened the door, the place was a madhouse. It was like entering someone's personal house but there were tables everywhere and they were packed. I was getting claustrophobic and it felt like I was in an NYC subway at rush hour. Kelly said she knew the owners, so I figured I would wait outside for her to come and get us some sort of faster service. I hadn't been checking my phone and pulled it out when I went outside. I found a stream of texts that went something like this:

"I'm going to be a little late, had horse stuff to finish up for the day."

"Heading out soon, just got out of shower."

"Well, I'll make it up there if I can if I get up there tonight. I might get arrested."

That last text was a little unnerving. I tried to text her back and ask what she meant and what was going on, but no answer. **** it, I had to know what was going on.

I decided to take an alternate route that cut in, away from the coast and was doing @100mph on the backroads that was just tractor trailers and orange groves. I managed to take the paved road this time to her house and about an hour later I pulled onto the dirt road, this one was actually graded and was relatively normal. It was about a half mile from the beginning of the dirt road to her house, and I saw lights flashing in the distance. They got brighter and brighter as I closed in on the turn, and cutting around there were two squad cars lit up in her driveway, as well as a red Toyota Corolla parked alongside the road. One was blocking the front gate and I pulled up alongside the ditch and got out. I walked towards one of the officers who was walking faster towards me and seemed very concerned.

"Who are you?" The officer almost demanded, he had to be no more than 22. "Can I see some identification?"

Normally I am not a fan of just handing out my ID, but I saw Kelly in the back of a squad car and some guy outside another, bleeding from somewhere near his neck. I showed him my license and told him that Kelly had told me to come because something was wrong. I said I was mainly there to take care of the dogs but was curious what happened. He told me he couldn't give out personal statements but the man had entered the property and attempted to assault her.

"Well, what's the current situation?" I was basically blinded by the lights flashing at this point, I don't understand why out in the country on private property they both had to be lit up like that.

"They are each in the back of a squad car. We are waiting for backup."

"Backup, what do you need backup for? Did you take any statements?"

"No, we are waiting for our sergeant." The other officer had come toward me at the time to talk. I stood back for a second and looked down at the gravel road which was shiny and reflecting the blue lights, almost mesmerizing.

"So let me get this straight. You were called to the scene of an assault, and threw them both in the back of your cars? I guess your sergeant really does need to be here. I'm going into the house."

I walked by the car that Kelly was in and the window was down. It was kind of chilly and she just had just a shirt and shorts on.

"What the hell happened?" I asked, then noticed that she was handcuffed and looked very stoic.

"Let's talk about it later. My friend who is an attorney is headed over and hopefully I can get out of here. I've never been in a cop car, it's so uncomfortable."

"I have to know, how did he get his shoulder all bloodied up?"

"A four foot crowbar from the barn - he cornered me." What a boss!

As I walked over to the house I could hear the dogs moving around and whining. How she clocked that dude who was over 6 feet tall and twice her weight was beyond me but I wouldn't want to be in her place right now. I walked in and the dogs overwhelmed me, obviously hungry. There were two Boxer mixes, two Pitbull/Catahoula hound mixes, and a Siberian Husky/wolf. I was so afraid to let them out because they were all distressed about their owner being gone and would probably approach the police unfriendly. I fed them all and hung out inside and on the porch as another squad car showed up and some SUV. It appeared to be a friend of Kelly's, and 30 minutes later her handcuffs were off. She talked to police for another 30 minutes and a bit to the guy from the SUV and then the truck disappeared. She walked away and back up to the house and came in as the squad cars drove off.

She proceeded to tell me what happened with the guy in the red Corolla. He was someone that she had gone on a date with a month ago, and had started getting creepy after she told him she wasn't interested. He asked her to go on a cruise, sent her email updates on his life everyday, and he he pictured them together forever. She told me he started coming around the farm from Naples a couple weeks ago and this was the first time he wouldn't leave the property. He cornered her in the barn and she swung and hit him right in the shoulder with that crowbar. She told me she wanted to buy a gun now. This wasn't the first time someone who hated guns decided they wanted to buy a gun after they had been assaulted. I assured her I'd take her out shooting soon and she was content. The guy in the SUV was her friend who was a big time lawyer in Fort Myers and demanded she get released because Florida has one hell of a Stand Your Ground law. The sergeant never showed up.

"So, what about dinner?" I was still hungry and it was around 11pm, nothing much was open even near the interstate about 20 minutes away. She insisted on making mashed potatoes and gravy, which was all she had there, until I realized the diner at HR Immokalee was open. I told her I knew of a nice place to go and she hopped in the shower. She had no problem walking back and forth half naked, she finally got dressed and we headed East. Once she saw we weren't heading towards the coast she started freaking out - Immokalee is a rough town where the police station has been shot up, and is mostly comprised of migrant workers and drug dealers. English was a third language behind Spanish and Haitian Creole. Driving down the main drag in town, there were people walking and biking around. When you see this in a town it is usually a sign you are in a bad neighborhood, in the case of Immokalee, the whole town is a bad neighborhood.

"Are you taking me to Popeye's?" Kelly asked, a little concerned. "I don't want fried chicken and I don't want McDonalds. There's nothing else in this town so I don't know where were are going."

"Just calm down, we're almost there."

I took the turn towards the casino and as we rolled up into the parking lot, she was in a little bit of shock. This was the only place that was safe at night in this town, and it stood out because it had nice cars, bright lights, and plenty of security. I valet'd the car and we went inside and went right to the diner. The diner here had gotten awards for the best in Collier County multiple years and it was reminiscent of a high end diner in Manhattan. She was genuinely impressed, and I realized I had some comp dollars so we walked over and showed her the poker area.

"This is where you gamble?"

"Its not gambling, and it's much more complicated than that. I'll explain sometime, but not now."

I had $22 in comp dollars which I didn't know could only be used at this Hard Rock. I never ate here, so I was happy to get the extra value. We walked around the casino and for someone who only lived 15 minutes away, she was in awe. She decided she wanted to play blackjack after watching a good table, and I showed her how to play by basically making all the decisions. She ran $60 into $200 and I told her to cash out. They gave her two black chips and she looked at them suspiciously.

"So I just take this to the counter and they give me my money back?" She clearly had never been to a casino, ever.

We headed home, and she asked if I would stay. I told her only if I got to wear her brother's clothes again, and she laughed and made the bed, but invited me to her room. I was unsure what she wanted after what happened tonight with that guy, but after she turned over basically lying on top of me I no longer had any doubts.

Nice, sex!

Sent from my LGLS991 using Tapatalk

Thanks TST, and here are some more good stories about crazy Florida **** (NSFW):

The Pill Mills of Florida Part 1
The Pill Mills of Florida Part 2
.

"So I just take this to the counter and they give me my money back?" She clearly had never been to a casino, ever.

Keep corrupting the young ones!

Sorry. I didn't explain myself well. Whether you are felted or not, the main difference is between "getting snapped off" (losing) or "snapping someone off" (winning). I agree that both of these phrases derive from the "snap call" but if you are the winner you are usually snapping but if you are the loser you are usually getting snapped.

Damn, that story is ****ing INSANE! I would recommend that to anyone - very good insight into the opiate prescription problem in Florida in the late 2000s.

Pretty sick

Sent from my XT1650 using 2+2 Forums

I know this is repeated over and over, but great read. I started at 8am and now at 403, I thank you for getting me through my Tuesday desk grind.

These ****ed me up last night haaaard. It's like the drug version of TST without balls.