We are pleased to hear that you have chosen to dedicate your life to us
here at support. While I am not one to support idol gods I totally respect
your decision

LOL

*eagerly awaits reply*

meh. disappointing, probably copy-pasted reply...I won't even post it, it's so standard

Jay G to PokerStarsSupp.
show details 4:43 pm (3½ hours ago)


Hi my name is Icecool988 on pokerstars. I was wondering if you could help me make a life decision, because you guys at support seems to have you head on straight.

My girlfriend ate 3 tacos last night, and I really dont like when she eats tacos because she never includes me in the taco eating. She will buy like 1/2 lb of beef, and a package of taco shells, and while she is cooking them up, I start to get excited (because I love tacos). Well when she is cooking them up, she will take all but 3 of the taco shells and smash them on the ground outside and let the dog eat them. When I complain that she just smashed the taco shells that I was suppossed to eat with, she tells me to go eat a bannana instead. The problem with this is i really dont enjoy bannanas much at all, in fact I actually despise them. Here is the catch, she pays me $50 a day to put up with her, which I usually go and spend part of it on taco shells.

So should I dump her, or just put up with the taco mayhem? Say I spend like $4 on shells out of the $50 she gives me, im still $46 ahead

Also What is your favorite movie? I need something to watch tonight when i cant eat tacos.

Thanks

Jay





Hello Jay,

Thank you for emailing us.

What are you complaining about? You are looking at this completely the
wrong way.

The way I see it, your being paid $50 a day to eat a banana and keep your
girlfriend. Who cares about tacos? Life could be far worse than to be paid
$50 a day not to eat tacos. I would have been satisfied with $20, despite
my love for tacos.

I highly recommend "The Goonies". Sloth rules.

Ruth! Ruth! Baby! Ruth!


Regards,

JeffreyV
PokerStars Support Team

A+ for creativity

its true

FTP's Response to the above email... I sent it to both sites, LOLOL


Hello Jay,

Thank you for contacting Full Tilt Poker Support.

Jay, we are truly flattered that you would involve us in this important
life decision. After conferring with my colleagues, as well as spending
some time diligently researching tacos and taco related websites, we
have reached what we believe to be an appropriate solution.

First of all, it is abundantly clear that any girlfriend who would pay
you $50 per day is clearly worth keeping. It's true that it may seem
like an egregious inconvenience to have to purchase shiny new taco
shells every day. However, speaking strictly from a pure cost-benefit
rationale, being in the black $46 on a daily basis is not only sound
financial prudence, but additionally you have free taco shells. This is
what many financial advisers refer to as "taco economics" or as the kids
say, "taconomics".

That aside, I believe there is a deeper issue here which I feel should
be addressed. It has recently been widely publicized that feeding taco
shells to canines can cause what many scientists refer to as "taco
neurosis". This can be dangerously exacerbated by any intake of bananas
or banana flavored products. (Definitely stay away from banana flavored
tacos!). We recommend that you immediately cease all intake of tacos to
your dog's diet, and instead choose one of many fine, recommended dog
foods available at your local pet supply store.

With regard to your movie inquiry; although it is not my favorite film,
given the content of this email, I strongly recommend the movie "Hot
Rod" starring Andy Samberg. There is a scene involving a battle between
a Grilled Cheese Sandwich and a Taco that I believe you will enjoy.

In closing, I hope I have aided you in your quest for easy taco living,
Jay. I truly enjoyed answering your email and wish you the best of luck
in whatever choice you decide to make.

Thanks for choosing Full Tilt Poker. If there is anything else we can
assist you with, please let us know.

Regards,

Derrick
Full Tilt Poker Support

ftp is pretty funny, granted it took like 36 hours longer

fulltilt is trying too hard

obv they saw this thread

lol, so nothing they do will make you happy?

I, for one, welcome Full Tilt Support to the realm of silly question-answerers with open arms.

lol agreed.

OMG crazy support

QFT

Like 1 minute reply also

Gee, let me think.. you guys send a email strictly about tacos to a poker site. What the hell do you expect?

Personally speaking, this email SCREAMS of fishing.

f'king morons.

Why not email FORD and ask them about CARPET LINT? OH THEY WON'T FIGURE IT OUT EITHER! We'll GET THEM!

Quit wasting time and resources.

If you want to know how good a poker site's support is, or how fast they respond, email them a POKER QUESTION, FOOLS.

Do you PITY THE FOOLS, Mr T?

wow this is gold

yea and i'm sure jeffreyV has no idea this thread exists.

Bump for justice.

Humor, it must have not been programmed for you.

this

epic thread imo

but someone should copy and paste the classic "can i let a monkey play on my account" story

I've had my go at it:

Dear PokerStars Support Team,

I've recently seen the national IQ-test in Holland and they did a test with an orang utan and it turned out it had an IQ of 75. Now I had this idea. If you place a orang utan in front of some kind of machine with a check, fold, bet and raise option in a limit game. Do you think he would play profitable?

Kind Regards,

...

orangutan is one word.

thousands do this every day, and have done for years... it seems to work ok for them...

gonna get flamed for that comment ^^