>Subject: Please to be responding
>
>i am a Robot Professional Poker Player but i can think my only weakpoint
is hungry and sleepy
how i workwhen i wake up,
the first thing is open pc,then i go to toilet,wash face,tooth clean in 2 min back to join table,
use the time waiting for BB to eat,i hire a cooker ($3 two hours one day)
>then start fighting !
>Then tired, songs and movie and browse forum, then go on fighting!!!
fight till my brain is too tired to think
i have no job, i have no girlfriend,i have no friend,i needn't go outside,last month i haven't go outside once!!
>my only target is poker poker poker
i don't fell anything except sleep eat poker
i don't drink, smoke, i don't entrainment， i don't make love
i will be excellent as one canadian youngest player Daniel! he is best on the world!!!before i am a starcraft progamer ,my gamei point is 2188 Terrando you know how korean progamer train?one day 16 hours keep practising you maybe hear of Elky Grrr liquid, i defeat them all i like practice practice practice !!!

so let us gogogogo


Thank you for your email.

However, I believe you have overlooked a possible weakness in your plan. As
shown in the Terminator movie series, there is always another model coming
out that will utterly own you. Perhaps you will be lucky and it will be a
hot robot with weapons for hands (as in Terminator 3). Perhaps you will be
unlucky and it will be a grim faced liquid robot that you are unable to
destroy (as in Terminator 2).

Either way, your best bet is to drop the plan altogether, marry a Kennedy,
and become Governor of California. I wish you the best of luck.

Regards,

Jacob
PokerStars Support Manager

bahaha

Wow, just wow. When I started playing poker I was already impressed with the level of support at Pokerstars (got an answer within 5 minutes) but this is amazing.

I wonder if they don't get sick of these kind of questions?

stop after OP, op

fyp

fyp

terrible news

That Terminator response is pretty damn sweet.

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA.

i bet she smells like cinnamonapples.

You guys are taking this way too far. Yes, the responses from Stars have been gold but do you really think that they want to be flooded with pointless emails? Im sure they're very busy doing actual work to keep their site safe and respond in a timely manner to those emails of actual urgency. Im sure places like UB are happy as hell that they dont get these types of constant emails because they know that theres no chance in hell they would ever respond.

my guess is that they get 500 pointless emails max. i dont think that is being flooded. additionally you cant buy this kind of love from your customer base.

I'm guessing you've never worked a ****ty job huh?

Please, the whole reason they're answering these is because they clearly aren't inundated with major problems or anything else. I think they're smart enough to know that if they had a full day's worth of real problems to respond to that these would be the first kind of e-mails to be dropped.

----- Original Message -----

Pokerstars Support,

Me and my friends were debating a question and since pokerstars support
knows everything we need you to solve our problem.

How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once? How many 5 year-olds do you
think Chuck Norris could take on?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There
are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked
unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is
"out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids
from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be
50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms
of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who
will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will
receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the
standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the
bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you
down.


Thanks,
Your loyal customer

P.S Do you think Dids has caught the ghey?




Thank you for contacting PokerStars.

Before I can give you a correct answer, I would need you to clarify a few
things:

1) Is it me that is chosen for this battle, or could PokerStars support pick
our finest killing machine?
2) Are the child warriors let out one at a time with a few second interval
(Royal Rumble style), or are they all in the enclosure to begin with?

In regards to Chuck Norris, I really can't see him getting beaten up by any
amount of children. Finally, I recommend having Dids contact a local GP for
a check up.

Best of luck at the tables, and thank you for choosing PokerStars!

Regards,

Dean
PokerStars Support Team


Will post answer to response email when I get it.

Dean,

1) How bout both?

2) They are all in there to start with

Thanks


Response:
Hello,

Thank you for your reply.

Quite interesting. With all the child warriors in there to start with, I
would say that I could take 52, give or take three or four. I say give or
take, because, like poker, I could suffer a sick beat and one of the kids
picked happens to be Chuck Norris' son, Dakota Alan Norris. Would I be
able to take Dakota Norris? Of course not, after all I am just a simply
support worker here at PokerStars. For more information on Dakota Norris,
(who appeared as Himself on an episode of 'Yes, Dear') please visit:

http://www.tv.com/dakota-norris/pers...3/summary.html

If I were to pick another member of staff, it would probably be
HostStevenB, he's not a small guy. I would say he could take roughly 64
child warriors before succumbing to fatigue.

I hope this information was useful to. If you have any questions regarding
this, or any other matter, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Regards,

Dean
PokerStars Support Team

You guys must all be forging these responses. On repeated attempts I have either been given an FTP like textbook response or just ignored. Really disappointing.

See, this is why you'll never be a successful businessman. So pokerstars spends an extra hour or two a day responding to e-mails generated from this thread, and they get tons of free adveritisng. Do you see how many people have viewed my thread? 20,000-- how many of these people will now go deposit on pokerstars? All they really need is ONE and responding to these e-mails is +ev......plus its fun for them, happy workers means they are more productive, obvioulsy youve never taken an econonmics course either. Also thanks for trying to trainwreck my thread with officially the worst post in BBV history "durr durr stop trying to get hilarious responses out of pokerstars cuz they have a job to do man, its hurting their business!"-- LOL @ YOU

i'm behind you on this but i gotta wonder about the 20k.... is that individuals or does it count repeats? im just asking i really dont know

Not sure, might count repeats but even so lets say its a couple thousand individual users instead of 20,000-- still probably worth pokerstars time.

i'm only playing on pokerstars now

----- Original Message -----
From:
Sent: 2008/03/09 09:26:34
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: Please help me to settle this question

>I discussed a question with a friend of mine and we couldn´t answer the
question. Thats an seroius Problem i suck at Poker right now because all
concentration focuses on this single question.
>
>If Chuck Norris and Jesus would get in a fight, who will win? I mean Chuck
Norris kicks ass. When he does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s
pushing the Earth down. But on the other side, Jesus is the man, i mean he
can turn water to wine and has all this "Son of God" stuff.
>
>Can you guys help me out?
>
>Thanks, really would appeciate it.
>


Hello *****,

Thank you for your email.

First of let me say 'LOL'.

Ok now Jesus can work miracles, however he is not perceived as being
violent. Without seeming to sacrilegious in this email, turning water into
wine does really help you in a fight. I mean theoretically Jesus could just
turn Chuck Norris into a piece of paper and just rip him to shreds. Now, in
saying that, this is not something that Jesus would do, as his powers are
used to help people, not for something as trivial as a fight.

Now, Chuck Norris, yeah he is the man in his movies. Most of his movies are
B movies I might add, so he woops ass against the people he fights in his
movies, often because he directs them. He is a martial arts legend in his
own right (and mind lol). So on that basis he is the man.

So, if Jesus and Chuck Norris got into a fight, you can speculate on who
would win, due to their 'powers'. However, my argument would be that if a
fight did occur between the two, I doubt that Jesus would fight back, he
would most likely take it on the chin as he is not the violent type. So
Chuck Norris would win, I think a more interesting fight would be someone
like Chuck Norris versus Jet Li, they both have significant martial arts
skills, one is fast, the other powerful (Li and Norris respectively). Maybe,
you want to think about that one.

Please do not hesitate to email us if you have any questions or requests in
the future and we would be happy to take care of them for you.


Regards,

SimonD
PokerStars Support Team

classic

you must be sending some pretty stupid questions then because i'm 2 for 2.

<3 Stars, even though half of these are obvious tardish forgeries. Still A+ thread.

wow chuck norris jokes those are fresh