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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 03-04-2008, 02:34 PM   #46
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Re: STars support staff wins again

----- Original Message -----
From:
Sent: 2008/03/03 21:58:45
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: rake

>hi,
>
> can you explain why your rake is so high?
>
>

Response

Hello,

Thank you for contacting PokerStars.

Unfortunately for you (and thankfully for me), Pokerstars have to pay an extensive support team to answer all e-mails we receive, however pointless they may be.

They are normally complaints about the doomswitch which we obviously deny all knowledge of with our standard "there is no doomswitch" lie. Some are desperate requests for money to be returned because some fool is playing outside his means and wont be able to pay his mortgage. Sometimes they warn us that they are suicidal but as far as we're concerned they can get on with it if they have no money. We occasionally get an e-mail that makes us smile but it gets boring after the first dozen.

Another large overhead that has to be paid is for our Fraud Investigation Team to investigate every allegation of cheating, however spurious, which are usually based on frustration at a players inadequacies rather than any supporting evidence.

We also had to deal with thousands of people transferring 1c to some Canadian dude who really didnt need the money and wasnt as pleased as you might think.

If you all just played poker and left us alone we could save some money, though these savings would obviously not be passed on to you.

I hope this helps but if we can be of any further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us again at any time (although frankly we'd rather you didn't).

Regards,


PokerStars Support Team

Last edited by Bingo_Boy; 03-04-2008 at 02:35 PM. Reason: *may not be a genuine response.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:36 PM   #47
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Re: STars support staff wins again

lol @ the last one even though you probably faked it.

Last edited by Hattifnatt; 03-04-2008 at 02:42 PM.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:37 PM   #48
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hattifnatt View Post
lol @ the last one.

fake?
.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:39 PM   #49
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Bingo_Boy for mod.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:41 PM   #50
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Thanks for the laughs OP and leather jacket guy.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:55 PM   #51
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Definately the best thread ive read in weeks. n1 op
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:00 PM   #52
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Re: STars support staff wins again

This is awesome! I sometimes help answer support questions and would think this was hilarious if it happened to us....

That being said, please do not spam our support with these type of questions, unless you reallllllllllllly need them answered. Then we will be glad to help

P.s I believe the moon affects the earths tide because of the gravitational pull. Also just a tid bit of info, if the moon wasn't there it would totally destroy the earths eco system as tides are the way the water oxygenates itself.
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:17 PM   #53
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunPoker View Post
This is awesome! I sometimes help answer support questions and would think this was hilarious if it happened to us....

That being said, please do not spam our support with these type of questions, unless you reallllllllllllly need them answered. Then we will be glad to help

P.s I believe the moon affects the earths tide because of the gravitational pull. Also just a tid bit of info, if the moon wasn't there it would totally destroy the earths eco system as tides are the way the water oxygenates itself.
can you trade me 100 bucks on stars for 100 bucks on sunpoker?
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:20 PM   #54
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Quote:
Originally Posted by zen_rounder View Post
beats ftp support thats for sure
by so much it's sick, I usually have to wait 2 weeks for a rediculously stupid answer from FTP instead of a day for a legit answer at stars
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:29 PM   #55
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Re: STars support staff wins again

dear poker stars,
i need to take a dump on your forehead please halp


dear customer sir,
please take a huge dump on my head. That would make everything wonderful. I hope you enjoyplaying on Stars.

signed,
Pokerstars support




This is 100% real and completely not fake, this is an actual support email i sent and received back.
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:51 PM   #56
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Someone create a wiki for doomswitch, then email stars. gogog
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:54 PM   #57
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImsaKidd View Post
I talked to a lot of stars support people at PCA and they all BSed around telling good support stories.

I cant remember specifics, one guy said he got 10 emails in one day about play money being rigged.

Seriously every stars support person seemed very cool and normal, not some outsourced retard. I mentioned to them that I jokingly email them about running bad and they always laughed it off and said it was a good break from the more serious/angry emails they got.

Fwiw Host Ellis, hes old school dont know how many of you remember him......surely knows me by my SN-- we were actually meant to go get drinks in london if i ever came to visit, lol. I sent pokerstars support 983 e-mails over a year period complaining of bad beats and insisting their site was rigged-- this was during my 2nd year of poker.

Variance: I was a BIG winning player in the first 3 years of poker, probably when i bitched the most, i didnt expect to lose. Now that i bitch AND expect to lose, i absoluttely suck. That or the games are really THAT much more difficult.
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:56 PM   #58
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Re: STars support staff wins again

for a change, I'm real happy that I checked BBV today

nice work
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Old 03-04-2008, 04:27 PM   #59
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Quote:
Originally Posted by kickpushcoast View Post
ftp support would reply back 3 months later with something like: we can neither confirm nor deny the existence of tides, or this thing you call the moon
PS, I U
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Old 03-04-2008, 04:37 PM   #60
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Re: STars support staff wins again

Quote:
Originally Posted by cables View Post
I have an old one:

That one is even better. Hahahahaha
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