+1

why do you guys waste their ****ing time like this? **** like this makes things like their great support start sucking after awhile.

QFMT. Stop abusing good stuff. OP, nh if you needed the info and it was an entertaining thread to post, & pokerstars probably like the publicity. But all the other copycats in the thread, you're being fools and you're not funny.

stars support is awesome

this is gold

Was just about to say something like this!!

QFT

I have an old one:

lmao

I disagree, this probably made this guy's day

It's all good

PStars support rocks

I wanted to see if Cake support was as entertaining as stars support. I was disappointed.

"Support,
I am doing good in this weeks GC500. Unfortunately I will not be able to continue my sick run of luck boxing gold cards tonight because I have a test in my management class (wish me luck). But next week is my spring break. My goal over spring break is to win the GC500. I figure this will take 10+ hours of 6 tabling a day to get this completed ($50NL balla btw). When does the GC500 start and end? Is this what you would do if you were on your Spring Break and lived in Florida? Can you please not have me run bad at the beginning of next week? Im sure by the middle of next week I will be in a coma for all intents and purposes and wont know how to work a gun so running bad wont result in suicide. Lastly if I seem to quit my quest for the GC500 midway through the week can you please send a doctor over to my apartment to make sure Im not laying on the floor having seizures?

Thank you for your help,

Also any other advice on winning the GC500 and spring break in general is much appreciated."

Reply

"Hello Jason,



Thank you for your email. The GC500 runs from Midnight Monday night GMT to the next weeks Monday night.



Please let us know if we can be of further assistance.



Kind Regards,

Sean

CakePoker Support "

stars

Dear Stars,
I don't know what wikipedia is. Can you please look this up for me on wikipedia and tell me what it says?

I think the 'Stars staff enjoy light-hearted **** like this - compared to the 2^32 insanely stupid **** they normally deal with, this gives the guys a break from form letter copying.


I'd rather inject the off-wall light hearted humour stuff throughout their day then have the good guys get burnt out by the endless stupid emails.

hahahahahaha man that's hilarious if it's not made up.

The leather jacket one is awesome too. "If you don't want to end up like Gary Coleman, order the leather jacket."

1. QFMFT-- how many stupid e-mails do they get like "durrr how do i fix my tournament tab" or "how can i self-ban myself becuase i suck at poker and cant figure out how to click requests and find the self-ban" or stupid questions about rakeback and FPPs

2. Andyan- I have sent them numerous e-mails about bankroll management, unfortunately they have not been helpful....if theyh were ever to help me though id become a millionaire

3. Is this a bad time to admit that my previous alias is venom007? Because im pretty sure ive just been bathed in support for my posting-skills, but i used to be top 3 most hated BBV'er ever ........although i dont post in BBV anymore and have become the sports forum most hated poster

I talked to a lot of stars support people at PCA and they all BSed around telling good support stories.

I cant remember specifics, one guy said he got 10 emails in one day about play money being rigged.

Seriously every stars support person seemed very cool and normal, not some outsourced ******. I mentioned to them that I jokingly email them about running bad and they always laughed it off and said it was a good break from the more serious/angry emails they got.

oh hi there

OP, that made my day so far (and I've even been up for 6 hours)

----- Original Message -----
From:
Sent: 2008/03/03 21:58:45
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: rake

>hi,
>
> can you explain why your rake is so high?
>
>

Response

Hello,

Thank you for contacting PokerStars.

Unfortunately for you (and thankfully for me), Pokerstars have to pay an extensive support team to answer all e-mails we receive, however pointless they may be.

They are normally complaints about the doomswitch which we obviously deny all knowledge of with our standard "there is no doomswitch" lie. Some are desperate requests for money to be returned because some fool is playing outside his means and wont be able to pay his mortgage. Sometimes they warn us that they are suicidal but as far as we're concerned they can get on with it if they have no money. We occasionally get an e-mail that makes us smile but it gets boring after the first dozen.

Another large overhead that has to be paid is for our Fraud Investigation Team to investigate every allegation of cheating, however spurious, which are usually based on frustration at a players inadequacies rather than any supporting evidence.

We also had to deal with thousands of people transferring 1c to some Canadian dude who really didnt need the money and wasnt as pleased as you might think.

If you all just played poker and left us alone we could save some money, though these savings would obviously not be passed on to you.

I hope this helps but if we can be of any further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us again at any time (although frankly we'd rather you didn't).

Regards,


PokerStars Support Team

lol @ the last one even though you probably faked it.

.

Bingo_Boy for mod.

Thanks for the laughs OP and leather jacket guy.