STars support staff wins again - Page 13 - Poker Beats Brags and Variance

Hello John,

Thank you for emailing us.

Allow me to explain that we do run reload bonus promotions from time to

time, however you are not eligible for any deposit bonus at the moment.

Please be aware that we will notify our players when they are eligible
for
such promotions via email, and our promotion website, which can be
found
here:

http://www.pokerstars.com/poker/promotions/

In regards to rakeback, we strive to give all players the lowest rake -
"rakeback" promotions only serve to charge players more rake, and then
give it back at some later date. If you compare the rake schedules
across
sites, I suspect you will find PokerStars is among the lowest, if not
the lowest, in terms of percentage for rake.

In regards to the duel, you need to consider a few extremely important
aspects;

Firstly, we never saw Yoda in his prime. While we saw him perform some
amazing feats against Count Dooku, he could have easily been three or
four
times faster and more powerful in his 30's, when he first became a Jedi

Master, and completed his Padawan apprenticeship (my assumption; not a
fact). He may have been reckless with his powers in his youth, which
caused sheer-less aggression, that even the likes of Neo could not
stop.
(Again, assumption, not a fact. His wisdom in the movie's suggest he
has
made some mistakes in the past, and has learnt from them).

You would also need to keep in mind that Neo's fighting powers really
only
worked in the Matrix. While at the end of the third movie it showed he
had
some powers outside of it, all his fighting powers occurred inside the
Matrix against Agents, specifically Agent Smith.

So let's take the assumption that they duelled in the Matrix. The whole

point of the Matrix, as Morpheus explains to Neo in the first movie of
the
trilogy is you can do anything you want, as long as your mind will let
you. Now factor in the fact that Yoda could move objects, even large
ones,
and fire lightning from his hands in the real world. How do you think
he
would hold up in a virtual one?

I think considering the fact we have never seen the full extent of
Yoda's
power, and the fact that the force surrounds everything (including the
Matrix), it would only be reasonable to conclude that Yoda would win
the
fight, and dare I say, possibly even destroy the Matrix.

Answer your question, I hope this does.

May the force be with you.

Regards,

JeffreyV
PokerStars Support Team

QFYoda

Quote

04-27-2008 , 12:01 AM

#302

thac

Strummin' along

Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 46,655

Quote:

Originally Posted by thac

I eagerly await a response.

Without fail, Stars comes through yet again:

Quote:

PokerStars Support to me

show details 12:00 AM

Reply

Hello Trevor,

Thank you for emailing us. My apologies for the delay in our reply.

While we don't have any kind of "celebration" when a player wins a pot, I
certainly like your Hevad idea. Perhaps we could also have Humberto
saying "the shark is commminggg"? Never the less, I am sending your
suggestion to our Ideas box for consideration.

In regards to the amount of emails we receive each day, it would be
inappropriate of me to comment on the ratio. After all, who am I to define
a "legit support question" to a "pointless nonsense question"? Aren't all
questions answered by support "legitimate", thus the reason for the email
in the first place?

But, I am never one to not comply with a player's request. You can find
the requested graph here:

http://img245.imageshack.us/my.php?image=graphpx6.jpg

If you have any more questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to
contact us.

Regards,

JeffreyV
PokerStars Support Team

Quote:

----- Original Message -----
From: meeeeeee
Sent: 2008/04/26 20:15:01
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: A suggestion and a question

>Hello Pokerstars Support! I am currently 6-tabling on your site, and as I
>scoop pot after pot, I had a revelation. Your site doesn't congratulate
me
>when I win. If you're aware (you may not be), PartyPoker has a
>"CONGRATULATIONS" banner with fireworks each time you win a pot, and I'm
>told that Cake Poker has people applauding for you when you win. Here is
my
>idea: Every pot you win should immediately follow with a picture of Hevad
>Khan with a .wav file that says "BULLDOZERRRRR!!". This would probably
draw
>more people to your site because they'd feel happy when the win a pot, as
>opposed to now when the cards for the next hand just deal automatically.
>Please get this done.
>
>Also, I wanted to know what the ratio is of e-mails you get per day. I'd
>like this expressed in an mspaint pie graph if possible, sorted by groups
of
>"legit support questions, 'halp i can't find the raise button' questions,
>and pointless nonsense questions". Thanks in advance and I look forward
to
>seeing your mspaints.

Quote

04-27-2008 , 12:07 AM

#303

leprous_hand

unclean

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 16,249

omg that is awesome

Quote

04-27-2008 , 06:21 AM

#304

Hattifnatt

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 14,414

hahaha

Quote

04-27-2008 , 06:29 AM

#305

dlorc

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 9,559

lol nh thac.

Quote

04-27-2008 , 01:06 PM

#306

pyjama_warrior

grinder

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 493

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bingo_Boy

----- Original Message -----
From:
Sent: 2008/03/03 21:58:45
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: rake

>hi,
>
> can you explain why your rake is so high?
>
>

Response

Hello,

Thank you for contacting PokerStars.

Unfortunately for you (and thankfully for me), Pokerstars have to pay an extensive support team to answer all e-mails we receive, however pointless they may be.

They are normally complaints about the doomswitch which we obviously deny all knowledge of with our standard "there is no doomswitch" lie. Some are desperate requests for money to be returned because some fool is playing outside his means and wont be able to pay his mortgage. Sometimes they warn us that they are suicidal but as far as we're concerned they can get on with it if they have no money. We occasionally get an e-mail that makes us smile but it gets boring after the first dozen.

Another large overhead that has to be paid is for our Fraud Investigation Team to investigate every allegation of cheating, however spurious, which are usually based on frustration at a players inadequacies rather than any supporting evidence.

We also had to deal with thousands of people transferring 1c to some Canadian dude who really didnt need the money and wasnt as pleased as you might think.

If you all just played poker and left us alone we could save some money, though these savings would obviously not be passed on to you.

I hope this helps but if we can be of any further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us again at any time (although frankly we'd rather you didn't).

Regards,

PokerStars Support Team

Lol! Great stuff.

Quote

04-27-2008 , 02:08 PM

#307

lsaw2

adept

Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 745

Quote:

Answer your question, I hope this does.

I loled.

PS support.

Quote

04-27-2008 , 02:09 PM

#308

fybpm

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 3,264

Eagerly awaiting response:

from XXXXXXXXX <XXXXXXXX@gmail.com>
to PokerStars Support <support@pokerstars.com>,
date Sun, Apr 27, 2008 at 11:04 AM
subject hello
mailed-by gmail.com

hide details 11:04 AM (3 minutes ago)

Reply

Just looking for a friendly boost in confidence and maybe a flip of the old boomswitch. Just yesterday, my daily driver (2000 Honda Accord) was recently diagnosed with fatal transmission problems and it is going to cost me $3,800 to get it fixed. I need to come up about 16 buyins of 200NL or 8 buyins of 400NL, you let me know which to play and (with a little bit of your help *wink wink* *elbow elbow*) I can get this fixed this week.

By the way, if YOU have any non poker questions or need any of my help outside of poker, you be sure to let me know. Enjoy your day.

Quote

04-27-2008 , 02:56 PM

#309

swissheep

adept

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 723

Quote:

Originally Posted by fybpm

wow, a boomswitch joke. nice one.

Quote

04-27-2008 , 03:03 PM

#310

leprous_hand

unclean

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 16,249

i like the idea of support asking questions

this may lead to a new level of awesome

Quote

04-27-2008 , 03:05 PM

#311

fybpm

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 3,264

Quote:

Originally Posted by swissheep

wow, a boomswitch joke. nice one.

Just because it was mentioned, doesn't mean it was the main point of my email. Obv hoping to get a funny response to the car and an interesting question back from them so I can return the favor.

Quote

04-27-2008 , 03:06 PM

#312

fybpm

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 3,264

Quote:

Originally Posted by leprous_hand

i like the idea of support asking questions

this may lead to a new level of awesome

TY. This further extends the fact that swisssheep is a cum dumpster.

Quote

04-27-2008 , 03:09 PM

#313

Berky

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 3,502

lol thac so awsome.

Quote

04-27-2008 , 03:27 PM

#314

lolepicfailimo

journeyman

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 305

stars support is great and all, but BOO at this:

Quote:

----- Original Message -----
From: xxxxx@xxx
Sent: 2008/04/27 11:41:00
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: chat privileges

>Hello,
>
>a few month ago my chat privileges were revoked.
>I am pretty sure that I typed out a few things that should have stayed
inside my drunken mind. However, I didn't mean it and people curse on the
interwebs all the time.
>
>I have missed my chat privileges dearly. I play heads up exclusively and
it really sucks not to be able to answer my opponents questions and
negotiate things (like, should we open another table etc).
>Today something happened that showed me i cannot go on without chat
privileges. I won a pot with a full house against a straight. Then my
opponent stays at my table sitting out, blocking it, and starts to type.
Please see for yourself:
>
>Michaeljg40: Gee this isn';t rigged is it?
>Michaeljg40: that's only the 17th time in the last hour i've lost on the
river with the nuts
>Michaeljg40: that's the 23rd consecutive time i lost with a straight
>Michaeljg40: i gurantee
>Michaeljg40: that will never happen in a real card game
>Michaeljg40: 100% guranteedcompletely non random
>Michaeljg40: Gee let me gueess you've hit 1;5 rivers in a row
>Michaeljg40: right
>Michaeljg40: such a garbage rigged cycle4
>Michaeljg40: win or lose it'ws not poker
>Michaeljg40: i can sit down at this site within 10 hands and theres a n
immeditate bad beat
>Michaeljg40: always trips or better
>Michaeljg40: in 10 years i've never lost with straights more than 3 in a
row
>Michaeljg40: never live
>Michaeljg40: here i lose 10, 12 in a row every other session
>Michaeljg40: it's a joke
>Michaeljg40: how horrible it is
>
>For 10 minutes i had to read his crap and wasn't able to play. Now
imagine sitting there and not being able to write "oktybye" or asking him
to please free the seat.
>
>So I am asking you to reinstall my chat privileges, because they are
essential for heads up playing and other than that, stars is one of my
favourite rooms.
>
>oktenkyoubye
>xxxxxxxx

Quote:

Hello xxxxxxx,

Thank you for contacting us.

I checked your account and noticed that your chat was revoked on November
10th, for 6 months. We must adhere to our chat policy so please contact us
back on May 10th and we will reinstate your privilege.

If we make an exception in any case, this will set a precedent, and will
make our rules impossible to uphold. Thank you for your understanding.

Please let me know in case you need further assistance.

Regards,

MariaJose
PokerStars Support Team

Quote

04-27-2008 , 03:33 PM

#315

DMoogle

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 7,243

You didn't really give them a reason to unban your chat...

Quote

04-28-2008 , 02:41 AM

#316

Fermion5

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 8,381

Quote:

But, I am never one to not comply with a player's request. You can find
the requested graph here:

http://img245.imageshack.us/my.php?image=graphpx6.jpg

getting a problem loading page on this one. was so excited to see it too =/

Quote

05-16-2008 , 09:48 PM

#317

Stevinchy

adept

Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 966

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fermion5

getting a problem loading page on this one. was so excited to see it too =/

+1

p.s This Thread is amazing..

Quote

05-17-2008 , 07:49 PM

#318

Assahai

enthusiast

Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 59

I was expecting a bit more exciting response, but meh:

Quote:

Hello xxxxx,

Thank you for contacting us.

Regarding the problem you sent to us, it is true that every guest paid a total of $9, adding this up it comes up to $27. Now, each guest received one dollar as change, they tell you to add up the $2 the maid took when you should be adding the $3 the guests received instead, because the $2 dollars the maid took were already part of the $27.

In the end, the Inn Keeper kept $25 (and sent $5 back), the maid kept $2 and the guests kept a total of $3 ($1 each); this adds up to $30. There is no money missing.

I hope this helps you, please let us know anytime you require further assistance.

Regards, Paula Z
PokerStars Support Team

----- Original Message -----
Sent: 2008/05/17 18:24:40
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: A problem

Three guys were looking for a place to stay for the night and they found an inn nearby. They paid $30 for the stay, that's $10 each. It was overprice, but they didnt have change so they had to pay it. Afterwards the owner was feelng bad that he had charged them too much and sent a maid to give $5 back to them. The maid was underpaid, so she took $2 from the change for herself to keep and gave the three guys $3 back. Thus they each received $1 back and had paid $9 for the stay. Now, 3*$9 = $27. You add the $2 that the maid took and you get $27 + $2 = $29!!! What the heck happened to the missing $1?

I can't play poker because this is bugging me, I need to know what happened to that one dollar!

Thanks,
xxxxx

Quote

05-17-2008 , 09:38 PM

#319

DMoogle

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 7,243

Quote:

Originally Posted by Assahai

I was expecting a bit more exciting response, but meh:

??? You got the answer. What more were you looking for?

Quote

05-18-2008 , 05:09 AM

#320

Assahai

enthusiast

Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 59

Quote:

Originally Posted by DMoogle

??? You got the answer. What more were you looking for?

I guess I was looking for a fun story about where the $1 could possibly have gone. Now I realise that I shouldve asked more questions, like is the missing $1 the rake taken from the pot? Do you think the 3 guys shouldve tried to re-steal?
I guess they took me too seriously

Quote

05-18-2008 , 01:52 PM

#321

MSPChris

adept

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 896

Quote:

Originally Posted by Assahai

Being stupid is easy. Comedy is hard...

Quote

05-20-2008 , 05:33 AM

#322

ziborbor

centurion

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 144

Hello Keith,

Thank you for your email.

While I wish I could go into detail regarding PokerStars from a staff member's point of view, we aren't allowed to go into too much specific detail I'm afraid.

I can be brief however, and say that this is the best job that I have ever had. The company treats its employees very well, and that is one of the reasons why we have one of the lowest turnover rates that I have ever heard of.

On top of this, as many of us in support were poker players before we had this job, we are able to talk about poker issues with our users and colleagues for many hours a day which is just fantastic. Because many of us share the similar poker background, there is a real sense of poker culture throughout this job.

Communication between staff is a key element of working in PokerStar, and we are also a very diverse staff, working from several locations around the globe.

As I said, I wish that I was able to go into more details regarding this, and issues such as salaries I am unable to comment on. I think that you will find PokerStars to have the best reputation of all the online sites, and working for a reputable company is a very satisfying aspect to this job.

I wish you luck in your assignment!

If we may be of further assistance regarding this or any other matter, please don't hesitate to contact us.

Thank you for choosing PokerStars.

Regards,
Andy
PokerStars Support Team

----- Original Message -----From: Sent: 2008/05/19 22:10:36To: support@pokerstars.comSubject: some questions >>Dear pokerstars supporters:> >

I'm a business student, and recently I'm working on an assignment. The topic is "The best company to work for", and I need to find some communication theories to support my arguements. Without a second thought I have chosen pokerstars, because I really like the site. There's something I would like to know from an employee, so now i'm sending this letter to you.
>1. Why do you think pokerstars is a good company to work for? (eg. benefits, salaries etc)
>2. What is the culture of the company?
>3. Is the communication between you and other members effective?
>4. Does the employee in pokerstars come from different country, hence different cultural background?

> >Thank you for answering my questions.

> >Cheers,>
Keith>

Quote

06-04-2008 , 02:19 AM

#323

dxu05

veteran

Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,632

I"M SOOO ANGRY
[ ] satisfied

Pokerstars Support

Hello xxxxxxxxx,

Thank you for emailing us.

PokerStars support staff does not normally provide advice, but I feel
compelled to in this situation.

Personally, I think you would be better off spending less FPPs (I would
only take the assumption that this sort of request would be in the million
(s) FPP range, *IF* it were possible), and purchasing "Name a Star",
naming it after the individual and showing you truly care for her.

It is +EV. Long term and short term. Think about it.

If you have any more questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to
contact us.

Regards,

JeffreyV
PokerStars Support Team

- Hide quoted text -

----- Original Message -----
From: xxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Sent: 2008/06/04 01:15:27
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: Concierge Help

>Hello sir!
>
>I have some FPPs on Pokerstars and recently I figured out how I would
>like to use them. There is this poaster on two plus two that upon
>initial pics seems like she might have epic mammary glands. I for one,
>being a fledgling poker player would like to see pictures of said
>breasts. Unfortunately the poaster has so far been uncooperative, and
>I wanted to know about my options. How many FPPs would be required for
>me to concierge pictures of said areolas. Would the price be different
>for side boob? How would I attain an accurate valuation of the market
>price for these boobs, would a dutch auction be the most desirable or
>should I call Bear Stearns and see if their IBanking group might do
>some bookmaking for me? If an adequate market price cannot be reached,
>what are my options for a hostile buyout?
>
>Thank you so much!