My family gives away more money every year than I will make in my lifetime. Pretty sure, I'm not eligible to apply for a grant, being a Woods.

The financials are public. Woods Fund and Woods Charitable each have hundreds of millions of dollars.

And I'm busto.

Pretty cool huh? Not like there was already an enormous mountain to climb, living up to my namesake ... he also turned his back on, what would be now, billions of dollars in the name of education.

SHUT THE **** UP

They are all like, second cousins and shiat. I never met any of them. I talked to one guy my age, sent him some of my research. My father and I actually went ona trip to Vermont and lower Quebec, and traced the family name back, one more generation. A lot of money had been spent once, to find out which boat the Woods came over on.

We still don't know. We were here, the whole time, apparently. Came from England to Canada first. Possibly. I have a photo of my great x 3 grandparents headstones. They died in the 1700's in Vermont. They mighta been spies ... British.

Also, on the Poe/Murray side of the family .... is supposedly this story:

http://www.bchistory.org/beavercount...oeMSSpr78.html

My ancestors from Scotland, came here and killed off the native population, so that the white man could come steal thier land.

That's why I believe I am cursed playing cards at a res casino. It's either that or I'm getting cheated.

Thanks, I needed that.



































Seriously.

Res casinos are rigged

It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

H.R. Giger?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsx2vdn7gpY

Mostly ...

Oh wait I am wrong ... it's da termninatah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpUVPvsIF5w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbQjvpleuMI

This guy is obv a total poosay. I could kick his ass in my sleep.

Af, i think you need to see a shrink brah, Not kidding.

Because I guessed it was Ahnuld?

That's from the Terminator movies. I must be a psycho for thinking Alien at first.

WTF?

Let me put it this way, I told a friend of mine to look up the comedian Louis CK and he was like, "OMG, that's you!"

I'm a bald, overweight, freckly guy that complains about everything that people do. Just normal stuff to everyone else, I want to piss in their face.

I'm sick, it's true. I need help. Monetary help would likely be the best kind of help though. I'd likely worry a lot less about stuff if I had like, a LOT of money.