LMFAO! Greatest thread ever, good job turning the 2nd article mega fail into more hilarity.
When I poop my pants playing online poker, its just a little nugget or two that falls out after trying to hold it in too long. I simply grab it out of my tighty whities and toss it in the garbage, sink, or toilet depending how many tables Im playing. Obviously my diet is much healthier than OP and I need to get a laptop.
This image is for whoever wrote that first article, pure genius, apply to The Onion right now!! Please!