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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 07-17-2012, 12:08 AM   #31
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

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Originally Posted by bad jaws horn View Post
1.8k posts not one over 3 sentances, i bet someone could make a posting ai bot that could be more entertaining and less predictable than you
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Old 07-17-2012, 01:05 AM   #32
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

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Spoiler:
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Old 07-17-2012, 06:01 AM   #33
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

I barge my way through the crowds in the Rio hallway. My vision is impaired by the Buzz head. Luckily my other senses are still sharp.

The unmistakable whirring.

Iceman's mobility scooter. I catch a glimpse of him up ahead.

I shout but he ignores me.

I shout again. Pushing past waves of tourists. He's getting away.

I weave in and out the crowd. Trying to gain some ground.

Just as he disappears round the corner I run and kick his back tires as hard i can. The scooter flips over and comes crashing down upside down.

Then i see it.

A white cowboy hat strewn across the floor. An old man. About as far from the Iceman as can be.

Holy mother of god. It's Doyle Brunson.

I look round. A crowd starts to gather. I panic. I hear murmurs in the crowd..."Is that Buzz Lightyear?"..."It's Howard in disguise"..."R.I.P. Doyle"...

I don't have time time to check whether their condolences are warranted. I decide to split.

I use the money i stole from Kathy to buy some tacky clothes from the gift shop. Emblazoned with poker motifs. It's all i could afford. I should fit right in at least.

Amazon Room. Day 3 of the Main Event. A sea of tables.

I spend a while looking around. The railbirds aren't being helpful. An old lady suggests the cash tables.

I get there just in time to hear the announcer call people to a 2/5 game.

"... and your chance to play with Teddy "The Iceman" Munroe."

Seated at a table. Alone. Teddy is waiting for the game to start. I stagger over.

"Hey Teddy remember me?"

"Oh yeah man! You wanna play with the Iceman?"

"No. You were at my table yesterday. I passed out. Do you remember?"

"Aw ****. How's a brother gonna forget that. You were out cold. I ain't even freeze you dawg"

"Do you remember what happened after? Where'd i go? I was pretty out of it. Did i leave with anyone?"

"Well y'know my memory is a little hazy. Say, thats a nice watch you got there. Looks vuuurryyy expensive."

I didn't feel like being hustled.

"Can you help me or not Teddy?".

"C'mon man. Help a brother out. The Iceman gotta eat." He grins back at me.

"I think you've had enough."

I slam the table into his gut knocking him backwards onto the floor.

"Tell me what i want to know Teddy."

I pin his flabby neck to the ground with my foot.

He tries to writhe free. A beached whale.

I wrap his bedazzled headphones round his neck. His face starts to turn blue.

"Alright man alright!" He chokes.

"It was some ho. She said she know you." Teddy squeals.

"what she look like?"

"Old. Real old. Ginger hair." He says.

It had to be Kathy. I hadn't dreamt it. I wasn't losing it. Vindication. Finally.

"...and some other piece of ass. What's her name again. Damn everyone know her..."

"What? There was someone else?!" It hadn't even occurred to me.

An accomplice.

"Oh yeah, yeah, i got it now. It was..."

The name that came out of his mouth did not surprise me.

Last edited by Verbal_Gym; 07-17-2012 at 06:07 AM.
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Old 07-17-2012, 06:43 AM   #34
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Quote:
Originally Posted by Verbal_Gym View Post
I barge my way through the crowds in the Rio hallway. My vision is impaired by the Buzz head. Luckily my other senses are still sharp.

The unmistakable whirring.

Iceman's mobility scooter. I catch a glimpse of him up ahead.

I shout but he ignores me.

I shout again. Pushing past waves of tourists. He's getting away.

I weave in and out the crowd. Trying to gain some ground.

Just as he disappears round the corner I run and kick his back tires as hard i can. The scooter flips over and comes crashing down upside down.

Then i see it.

A white cowboy hat strewn across the floor. An old man. About as far from the Iceman as can be.

Holy mother of god. It's Doyle Brunson.

I look round. A crowd starts to gather. I panic. I hear murmurs in the crowd..."Is that Buzz Lightyear?"..."It's Howard in disguise"..."R.I.P. Doyle"...

I don't have time time to check whether their condolences are warranted. I decide to split.

I use the money i stole from Kathy to buy some tacky clothes from the gift shop. Emblazoned with poker motifs. It's all i could afford. I should fit right in at least.

Amazon Room. Day 3 of the Main Event. A sea of tables.

I spend a while looking around. The railbirds aren't being helpful. An old lady suggests the cash tables.

I get there just in time to hear the announcer call people to a 2/5 game.

"... and your chance to play with Teddy "The Iceman" Munroe."

Seated at a table. Alone. Teddy is waiting for the game to start. I stagger over.

"Hey Teddy remember me?"

"Oh yeah man! You wanna play with the Iceman?"

"No. You were at my table yesterday. I passed out. Do you remember?"

"Aw ****. How's a brother gonna forget that. You were out cold. I ain't even freeze you dawg"

"Do you remember what happened after? Where'd i go? I was pretty out of it. Did i leave with anyone?"

"Well y'know my memory is a little hazy. Say, thats a nice watch you got there. Looks vuuurryyy expensive."

I didn't feel like being hustled.

"Can you help me or not Teddy?".

"C'mon man. Help a brother out. The Iceman gotta eat." He grins back at me.

"I think you've had enough."

I slam the table into his gut knocking him backwards onto the floor.

"Tell me what i want to know Teddy."

I pin his flabby neck to the ground with my foot.

He tries to writhe free. A beached whale.

I wrap his bedazzled headphones round his neck. His face starts to turn blue.

"Alright man alright!" He chokes.

"It was some ho. She said she know you." Teddy squeals.

"what she look like?"

"Old. Real old. Ginger hair." He says.

It had to be Kathy. I hadn't dreamt it. I wasn't losing it. Vindication. Finally.

"...and some other piece of ass. What's her name again. Damn everyone know her..."

"What? There was someone else?!" It hadn't even occurred to me.

An accomplice.

"Oh yeah, yeah, i got it now. It was..."

The name that came out of his mouth did not surprise me.
Spoiler:
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Old 07-17-2012, 06:47 AM   #35
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

didnot read so w/e
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Old 07-17-2012, 07:27 AM   #36
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Just read through. Very interesting - Can't wait to see who she was!
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Old 07-17-2012, 11:58 AM   #37
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

"Aw ****. How's a brother gonna forget that. You were out cold. I ain't even freeze you dawg"

"Do you remember what happened after? Where'd i go? I was pretty out of it. Did i leave with anyone?"

"Well y'know my memory is a little hazy. Say, thats a nice watch you got there. Looks vuuurryyy expensive."

I didn't feel like being hustled.

"Can you help me or not Teddy?".

"C'mon man. Help a brother out. The Iceman gotta eat." He grins back at me.

This made me LOL...I can actually picture the Iceman having this exact conversation.

Will check for updates
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Old 07-17-2012, 03:20 PM   #38
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Quote:
Originally Posted by Verbal_Gym View Post
A true story.

"How much do you have behind?"

I remain silent but lean back from the table. His eyes ruthlessly scan the towers of chips.

"About three fiddy?" He jokes.
LMFAO... if it gets better than this...................
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Old 07-17-2012, 03:33 PM   #39
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

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Originally Posted by THEWURDISTHEBURD View Post
get in my rape dungeoun,poofter kunt
mr. doodleburger ftw
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Old 07-17-2012, 03:35 PM   #40
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

jesus what a retard
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Old 07-17-2012, 04:17 PM   #41
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

lol....OP, this was actually pretty funny. Nice start.
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Old 07-17-2012, 04:25 PM   #42
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Quote:
Originally Posted by Verbal_Gym View Post
I barge my way through the crowds in the Rio hallway. My vision is impaired by the Buzz head. Luckily my other senses are still sharp.

The unmistakable whirring.

Iceman's mobility scooter. I catch a glimpse of him up ahead.

I shout but he ignores me.

I shout again. Pushing past waves of tourists. He's getting away.

I weave in and out the crowd. Trying to gain some ground.

Just as he disappears round the corner I run and kick his back tires as hard i can. The scooter flips over and comes crashing down upside down.

Then i see it.

A white cowboy hat strewn across the floor. An old man. About as far from the Iceman as can be.

Holy mother of god. It's Doyle Brunson.

I look round. A crowd starts to gather. I panic. I hear murmurs in the crowd..."Is that Buzz Lightyear?"..."It's Howard in disguise"..."R.I.P. Doyle"...

I don't have time time to check whether their condolences are warranted. I decide to split.

I use the money i stole from Kathy to buy some tacky clothes from the gift shop. Emblazoned with poker motifs. It's all i could afford. I should fit right in at least.

Amazon Room. Day 3 of the Main Event. A sea of tables.

I spend a while looking around. The railbirds aren't being helpful. An old lady suggests the cash tables.

I get there just in time to hear the announcer call people to a 2/5 game.

"... and your chance to play with Teddy "The Iceman" Munroe."

Seated at a table. Alone. Teddy is waiting for the game to start. I stagger over.

"Hey Teddy remember me?"

"Oh yeah man! You wanna play with the Iceman?"

"No. You were at my table yesterday. I passed out. Do you remember?"

"Aw ****. How's a brother gonna forget that. You were out cold. I ain't even freeze you dawg"

"Do you remember what happened after? Where'd i go? I was pretty out of it. Did i leave with anyone?"

"Well y'know my memory is a little hazy. Say, thats a nice watch you got there. Looks vuuurryyy expensive."

I didn't feel like being hustled.

"Can you help me or not Teddy?".

"C'mon man. Help a brother out. The Iceman gotta eat." He grins back at me.

"I think you've had enough."

I slam the table into his gut knocking him backwards onto the floor.

"Tell me what i want to know Teddy."

I pin his flabby neck to the ground with my foot.

He tries to writhe free. A beached whale.

I wrap his bedazzled headphones round his neck. His face starts to turn blue.

"Alright man alright!" He chokes.

"It was some ho. She said she know you." Teddy squeals.

"what she look like?"

"Old. Real old. Ginger hair." He says.

It had to be Kathy. I hadn't dreamt it. I wasn't losing it. Vindication. Finally.

"...and some other piece of ass. What's her name again. Damn everyone know her..."

"What? There was someone else?!" It hadn't even occurred to me.

An accomplice.

"Oh yeah, yeah, i got it now. It was..."

The name that came out of his mouth did not surprise me.
holy ****, I'm laughing my ass off throughout post just visualizing his fat ass on his scooter. He reminds me of a fatter/more ghetto version of the Prophet of Regret off of the Halo games. Except he be freezing negros instead
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Old 07-17-2012, 04:32 PM   #43
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

not a bad performance
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Old 07-18-2012, 01:38 AM   #44
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

this thread is bad and you in turn should feel bad
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Old 07-18-2012, 02:01 AM   #45
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

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Originally Posted by 6Bet4High View Post
this thread is bad and you in turn should feel bad
you really need to stop posting

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