Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck Bass
The past 1,5 years I've lived in a way of self-denial. When I hit the rock bottom in late 2009, and ended up owing people money and so on, I only knew that I had to make right of this all and did it. But I didn't really spend much time analyzing my own behaviour. I didn't really spend time thinking what I'd been thinking when I did this and that, how everything had felt like.
And you know, that's all that matters. All of us screw up sometimes, some more majorly than others, but it's your thoughts that really make who you are. And in order to grow as a person you need to do a lot of self-acceptance. My actions and intentions have been nothing but pure ever since my crashing, but I've still had the ghost of my past somewhere in the back of my mind that I haven't really come to terms with.
Now, thanks to a beautiful, balanced relationship, a great circle of friends and having had my life in great shape for a long time, I've finally come to terms with everything and it feels extremely therapeutic to share it all. I don't give a **** about attention, and for the first time I don't feel ashamed talking about anything regarding my past. I remember an example from as little as six months ago when someone asked something regarding my past and I got incredibly panicky. These days, I just don't care, and I mean that in a good way. I just feel that in order to entirely be free of my past I need to make it all public, and that's how I ended up posting this all.
Holy crap what a ramble, I would've written #8 in that time. Sorry.
As weird as it sounds reading your material makes me so good. Its as if Im watching a film good film but its in a post on 2+2.
Im glad you expressed your stories with us, and actually quite relieved that youve said you didnt like the way you were. Since the stories you right are so well written you actually glamorize the situations in my eyes, and make me eager to actually do something on the lines of what you have done.
Anyway youve made me question whether I am doing enough with my life. I am a poker player too, have lived in Thailand and had fun times there but now I want to explore sooo much more - Youve help me realised that, so thanks!
The only problem is I want to have stories like yours (as they are so exciting), but the stories you have while are extraordinary, arent some I particularly want to be experiencing myself since they seem to be so extreme!
Anyway do you have any tips? (bit vague i know lol!) Also you seem to have a whole host of friends around the world - how did you get to meet them? (in Aussie you know a load of people but never said how you met them)
Thanks