Tell them that you like to call AK "Anna Kournikova". Pause to give the table a chance to ignore you. Ask if they want to know why. Pause again. Smile broadly and explain that AK "looks good but never wins". No-one will care. At this point you should turn to the guy to your left and give a full explanation of the joke and Anna Kournikova's tennis career.

This works best if someone at the table has just lost a huge preflop all-in with AK against a pocket pair lower than sevens, something which happens about once an hour in live poker.

'-Show everyone your chip trick, which is just throwing a chip as high as possible'

This made me laugh really loud.

take off your shoe and use it as a card protector

buyin for table min with crumpled up 10s and 20s, then come up 10 dollars short and ask if the table cares

I love this one, although Fing disgusting

I was at a home game and some guy did this non stopped. I almost had to create a second I stabbed someone thread.

Just tell everyone u read helmuths book and go on about how he is the best player in the world.

this one, is too good.

say u read a thread BBV on how to be a fish

Ask when the blinds will be going up next

Ask how many players are left until the final table

When someone rebuys after busting stand up and say "WTF? You can just get more chips like that? I'm not playing anywhere you can just get more chips any time you want to. If I bust someone they should STAY busted."

Ask if you can show the dealer your hand and ask him for advice

Instead of peeling the corner of the cards, lift them up and hold them at eye level.

When it your turn to act always state "i check", whether that is an option or not.

Every time you have to post the blinds ask why you have to.

Tell everyone your favorite player is elix powers