that's crazy mad money for the waitress

Cool story, guy is clearly a roulette expert and has exact same strat as I used to. "The Juice" is the only # worth betting on in that game

I once checked 4 U-100 Insluin Syringes, 10 balloons of heroin, mini-spoon, and a gram of cocaine. When I arrived in SLC and my bag didn't come right away I thought to myself " I am going to get arrested before going snowboarding with my dad. This is embarrassing" .. Luckily the bag came. But I know the sweat..

Great thread Warmdeck. Epic stories told. The fact your a fellow MAholes makes them even more enjoyable. Keep em coming!

Sub'd, Awesome thread.

Your memoirs would make for a NYT bestseller man. Keep killin' the game

Finally finished this thread, 10/10 some sick story's here! Can you include some poker updates in the meantime before you recharge enough to go super degenerate😀😀

Update Request Part 1


Things have been pretty decent. My Degen cutback has had occasional mishaps, and my gym grind hasn't been stellar. This past few months of weather has been a downer, but is actually starting to get nice and bring that motivation back. So going to try to kick my exercise/diet up a notch or two.

So where to start? Well, Strip Poker Steve is actually MIA(busto) as of right now. He has abandoned our weekly poker grind. Have not seen him in two weeks and only have a single text from him about a week ago. He got on board for the poker grind. Deal was, he would be my chauffeur/gofer in return for me to stake him and provide accommodations. First couple weeks I would put him in for $100 at 1-2 and split profits 50/50 with make-up. I had to basically argue with him every day on how to play a $100 stack aggressively and pick up dead money and such. He is a very weak player and refuses to understand many concepts. Years ago he would actually gamble it up(still in terrible fashion), but now he just tends to bleed away. He prefers to buy-in for $200-$300 and play tight until he bleeds down to his $120 danger zone. Then looks to limp and get it in on flop with top-pair/over-pair.

Well after 2 weeks with my coaching and demands he was able to turn a small profit($300ish). He seemed to be un-enthusased with his cut and decided that weekend to get back on his sugar-daddy grind. He picked me up that following Monday like a new man. He had a $1k bankroll which makes him feel on top of the world. I tried not to think about the things he had to do for that money. Now he was playing on his own money though which was perfect for me. All I had to provide was the accommodations now and he was still a gofer. Great deal for me considering everything is comped to me anyway. Or at least just for my table game losses. Also I really had enough of arguing with him while I was staking him. I would even have to teach him table etiquette. It was getting ridiculous.

Anyways, it was better now in a sense. But since he became independent with his new roll, I lost my gym partner. He wasn't on my schedule once he had money in his pocket. He would play poker periodically and spend the majority of his time going on dates. He would use all possible internet dating resources, including backpage. He would leave the casino to take a 3 to the movies. It's all very sad stuff. He also picked up a very pathetic sight. She was an employee at the candy store inside the casino. Pale, sloppy, red-headed, slouch, 23 year old virgin. Yes I know a virgin is huge bonus points. But she was a virgin for a reason. She actually thought someone had put him up to asking for her number like it was a prank. That night he spent hours texting her about his life and past. She didn't care that he was a gay stripper who had been to prison, or that he was married with kids. They made it official and he met her mother(another casino employee) that week. He did spend the next month going on dates with her and such. Last I knew he had only gotten to kissing with the Disney channel watching freak.

Well between his new bankroll fluctuating between $1k and $2k and all the 2's and 3's he was juggling. He was at an all-time ego high. Self proclaimed woman crushing professional poker player. But truth is, he was bleeding away all the money he was sucking his sugar daddy dry for(literally). Every Friday was his SD's payday and he would take his SD on a date to the casino with hopes of making between $500 and $1500 for his services. The bankroll boost was just in time as he leaked away funds all week on tourney buy-ins and dates. Also as far as the woman crushing goes. He did well in the 2-4 range. But just like that saying goes. "Woman are like parking spaces.. All the good ones are taken and the rest are just handicap".

He was at an all time delusional high. Truth be told, he has never been with above a 6. Most obvious reason would be he's creepy and ******ed. His under 5 game has produced massive numbers, and to me it's amazing that he does this all in a sober state of mind. But maybe a ******ed state of mind isn't necessarily "sober". It got to the point where he claimed there is not one single woman in the world that he could not get. I mean who wouldn't want a married gay stripper with the IQ of a 4th grader and the morals of a rapist. Or the fact he is making payments on a 2000 Mazda 626, I **** you not. Well I was able to record him making this statement. Notice this jacket he wears in the video. Its like body armor to him. Wheres it 19 hours a day faithfully because he sleeps 5. Also is missing a button so he covers it up by walking around like his arm is in a sling. I told him the leather shoulder pads make him look like a gay cowboy.

Since I'm in the mood for ranting/rambling about SPS. I want to elaborate a bit more on his moral character. Also not sure if I have told this story about him before. If I have, I'm sorry. If I have not, I'm still sorry. There was a time early on when he started playing poker and was looking for money anywhere he could find it. This was his pre-stripper days. He was broke as usual and was itching to get down to the casino. He was into for a little bit at the time so he wasn't asking for more knowing I was serious about getting payed back. Well we made it down to the casino that day and he had $100 and something he scraped together. He played 1-2 and lasted maybe 2 hours before being broke. He dared not ask me because I was stuck on table games and he had to wait an additional 2 hours till I got even to leave.

Now on the ride home his wife calls him. I'm not paying much attention at first, but then become very intrigued. Now she has two younger children from another marriage at the time. A boy and a girl, maybe 9 and 10. Well she is asking if Steve had took money from the 10 year old boy. I guess the boy was given $100 from his grandmother(mother of the father) as a b-day gift to spend shopping when the father takes him. Turns out, Steve had basically talked this 10 year old into a staking arrangement. I do not know the specifics of the deal, but SPS had intentions of returning the money after played like a pro and won. The timing turned out bad when the father had called the son to pick him up to take him to Toys R Us. The son explained he couldn't go because he staked SPS in poker. The father of course goes ape **** and gives the mother an ear full.

Back to the phone conversation with SPS. He never denies taking the money to the wife, but from being tilted about losing and being busto again. He flips on her, and says the her son is a snitch. That he doesn't want to live with any snitch(his jail mentality coming out). He wants that boy out of the house before he gets home. He says to tell him to pack his **** and live with the father. That he doesn't care about the child support she is receiving for him. He will cover that in poker wins. Purely amazing, considering were talking about a 10 year old boy.

Once we got back home, I made him stop at his house before he dropped me off. I went in and handed the wife $100 for the son and made Steve pay me back. He probably payed me back by pawning the kids video games but can't say for certain.

Another thought just came to mind and I probably shouldn't share this like most other things. I heard Doyle say on TV while referring to another player, that they would steal the pennies from a dead man's eyes. Keep in mind I will be sugar coating this and to be fair much of my theory is an assumption. But I excel in the educated guessing department. This is rock bottoming Degen in my book.

SPS again look for funds to get on the grind. His wife brother is a heavy drug user from what I have been told. Never met him. He may have been looking to buy pills or had his own stash but will stop there about that. Either way he ends up at his sister's(SPS wife) house. He end's up overdosing on the couch and dies. I had talked to SPS earlier that day and he was busto, didn't want to go to casino. 15 minutes after the ambulance takes the deceased brother away, SPS calls me to head down. He is pretty chipper and is ready to play. Had about $300ish on him. Now I know death isn't something to joke about, but considering this guy was a junkie and I didn't know him. Plus the wife wasn't to distraught, let's chalk them up to scumbags. There were jokes going around that Steve ran this man's pockets and even drew up a phony will saying I so and so am leaving all my belongings to Strip Poker Steve. Then stuffed it in his pocket. Anyway enough about that.

I will try to get around to Part 2 later with more of the update. And leave you with this fact. SPS's father is a street bum that asks for money at intersections. SPS drives by sometimes and waves.

LMAOOOOOO

How is this guy still in your circle

I woulda been looking for any excuse to sever ties with someone who does this kinda ****

I actually wanna hear more though so its probably a good thing you havent

Fcuk yes.. God I've missed these stories. It's like that ex that used to give the best BJ's but it's been so long that you can only remember how good they were until you get one at a parkway rest area at 3am from said ex.

Welcome back WD

A+

+1

jesus christ, just when you think it can't get any worse

Doyle said that to Jennifer Harman. Apparently she angled him when she lied about a hand she had before showdown. He mucked abd she showed a lie. Then he said that phrase...

Sent from my SCH-I535 using 2+2 Forums

amazing

Update Request Part 2


Alright, so we left off bashing SPS. I guess it's only fair to talk about the embarrassing acts I committed now. Limiting alcohol was another objective of mine. Although, like many others, once I get rolling, it's hard to stop. 0-100 real quick..

Early into the grind, I had been talking with my 21 year old little sister. She knew I was allowed back into Foxwoods and was inquiring about a possible room arrangement for her friend who was turning 23, as I've done this before. Well it was her friends birthday and she wanted to do it kind of big and get suites. I had actually got this same girl a big 2 bedroom presidential suite for her 21st prior. Everyone had a good time that year and she was looking to do it again. So I made some calls and was only able to get a 1 bedroom suite with a connector for the Saturday night she wanted. Wasn't like the room she had with the piano, but still would do the trick.

That Saturday arrived and the girl was heading down to Foxwoods with about 25 people. Half girls, half guys. I put her name on the reservation, so she could check-in early. I headed down about 9PM that night with a few guy friends. Also a girl who had flown out to see one of my friends for some benefits. This has nothing to do with the story, but I found it amazing that this girl would fly all the way from San Diego just to get some dick for a few days. He claims he would **** her into a seizure, but this remains to be seen. Anyways, it was about 1030PM when we arrived and my sister had just called me looking to see where we were. I told her I was pulling in and about to check-in to the room so the comps would actually be in affect. Her and a few others had came down to meet me and we all went up to the suite. It can't be any later then 11PM and everyone I encounter is trashed. I can see why, the wet bar has about 10 empty alcohol bottles and an untold amount of beer/wine cooler empties strewn around the room. Furniture was moved, so beer pong could be set up and there wasn't actually many people in the room at the time. Now my intentions were to come down and have a few drinks, gamble a little bit, then head home with my friends I drove down with. So trying to accomplish the few drinks task wasn't going to happen in this room with almost all reasonable spirits tapped.

We decide to head down to the lounge for free drinks. We bump into the birthday girl and others on the way down and they say they're changing shoes for the club. Well we say we will meet them in a little bit. So it ends up being my sister, friends I came with, and myself going to the lounge. I was able to sweet talk us all in and got right to drinking. Patron silver's straight up for my buddies, wine for the tramp from San Diego, Grey Goose on the rocks for me with my sister following suit. The way I look at alcohol is I'm drinking it to get intoxicated. So why play around with all the extra mixers and such. Just excess fluids IMO. I'm trying to get right to the point. But that doesn't change the taste of straight alcohol(which I tolerate very well). I do like some flavor, so I made sure I had my MIO with me. It's marketed to be a flavored water enhancer. But I know it's really a flavored vodka enhancer. If you have not tried it, trust me, it turns vodka into Kool-aid with a small squirt. So we all make small talk, while putting these drinks down. I order one for me and my sister every 15 minutes. Only thing is she only drank her original. I get about 7 deep I think while mildly abusing the girl about flying cross country for intercourse. I tipped maybe $40 over the course of drinks which left me with about $1,960 of the original $2k I brought down(all in 20's too). My friends figured it was time to gamble, but with the b-day girl calling my sister looking for us, I part ways with my friends. My sister and I head to Scorpion Bar to meet the others.

Ends up being the standard scene IMO. Loud music, goofy dance moves(not by me) to get a laugh every once in a while, drinks, and guys gawking at girls. I did spend a decent amount of time undressing the go-go dancers with my eyes. Pretty hot girls at this place who really enjoy their jobs. I actually stopped to wonder how much they get paid to work this hard. I mean these broads were breaking into a sweat. For what, a $100 a night? I mean I could put them on my pay-roll. Anyway, I'm getting bombarded with drinks from all these girls that came to party. They are basically thanking me for the hook up on the rooms. Of course who am I to turn down a drink, especially from drunk 23 year-olds.

Eventually we stagger out and start heading back to the suite, I haven't been in contact with my friends and they aren't even in my train of thought at this point. It ends up being me and maybe 3 girls getting off the elevator, on the hotel floor. It's a long hallway and we have the suite at the end. One of the girls is complaining about the walk and her heels. She decided to make an executive decision in her drunken state. That was a piggy back ride would be much more luxurious and accommodating then walking in heels. With me being the most obvious candidate at the time, she gave short notice and lunged on to my back. With the factor of me being extremely inebriated, and the split second heads up. I went down, hard and fast. Face first just about I think. I end up smashing the bridge of my nose into the carpet of the hallway. I get up, and am bleeding at this point. It is a mix of rug burn and a gash just on the bridge of my nose. I start laughing and wiping blood as this girl is apologizing. I think nothing of it and just says lets get to the room, that I will take care of it.

I can only imagine how crazy I must have looked to the 10 or so party-goers in the room that I had not yet met. I came in, told them to turn the music up, grabbed the only bottle I could find and started chugging. It happened to be some fruity drink I wouldn't normally touch. Def some girl brought it. I go to the bathroom to try to fix this wound, and realize it looks pretty bad. I'm still ready to party so I try to think of the best course of action. I decide to hold a wash cloth to it and call SPS who I know is in the poker room that night. He always wear his Prada sun glasses on his head, so there was a good shot he had them with him. I figured they would mask the injury and I could go on with the night. Steve arrives about 15 minutes later with the glasses and I polish off the bottle. Now armed with these stealth glasses I am ready to gamble. I talk my sister into heading downstairs to look for my friends with me. Last thing I remember was walking down the hallway with these dark shades on and bumping into walls.

Next thing I know is waking up. Still pretty drunk and in only my boxers. I'm thinking WTF happened and immediately rip out this uncomfortable IV. I look around, and am laying in a hospital bed with the curtains closed. I get out of the bed and slowly walk over to the desk area. Its maybe 830AM and is very quiet. The gentleman at the desk is just reading a book and looks at me awkwardly. I ask him what is going on and where is my stuff. He tells me I was brought in last night and was being held for observation. He told me to go lay back down, that the doctor would be over to see me. I do that initially, but can't sit still. I feel like I am in jail and want out. I keep going up to the desk asking for my stuff and a phone. I get similar responses and am finally able to use a house phone. I make a couple calls, and both friends I call say they already went home. The doctor decides only to release me if someone picks me up. So I tell them to give me my stuff and call me a cab. They finally bring me my stuff. I pull out a Project Degen t-shirt covered in puke. Insta throw it in the trash. I put my jeans, belt, and shoes on. They give my my necklace, earrings, and watch. Then ask me to sign for $397! WTF! I question it and they say that's what I had on me. Whatever I want to get the **** out of there and sign. Then I realize I'm shirt less and ask if they have any spare shirts. I'm given a mother ****ing johnny. Whatever, I have drunken chills/shakes and throw it on.

Thirty minutes later the cab arrives and I had spent most of my time going through my phone to piece together the night. Nothing but missed calls and missed text of "where are you?". I managed to talk to my sister and she said she was driving home with friends. She said she was really drunk and that they took me away in an ambulance. I guess security came up to both of us because we were basically falling over trying to walk. She told them she had a room and escorted her back in a wheel chair. For me, I was taken out on a stretcher. I ask her if we gambled because I'm missing money. She didn't think so. Well I was given back $397 in about 18 twenties, and rest in mostly ones and couple fives. Educated guess is that, ambulance guy replaced my knot of twenties with ones, because where the **** would I get those anyway. Some illusion trick he must have thought would make my knot still look like a lot. **** it! I hop in the cab and pay the driver the $25 for the ride back to Foxwoods.

I hop out the cab at the hotel lobby and strut right in wearing a johnny with this cut on my face. The kids have checked out of the room, but I demand keys and am not given much of a hard time. They probably want to get me out of sight. I get up stairs and make some calls. I have a poker player buddy bring me an OJ and a bagel up to the room. I also call SPS and have him go pick up $2k for me and a t-shirt. Also another pair of sunglasses, because the pair he gave me is missing. Which sucks because I obviously have to replace them for him. Ended up just giving him a $350 pair I had, that I barely wear. Anyways, I need to get un-stuck on this beat the EMT put on me. So once SPS arrives I head downstairs to recoup my losses. With the new shades on, I am firing away on roulette. Playing whatever numbers I feel like and $100 splitting the zeros. I'm air-balling everything and take my last $1k of the $2,350 over to craps. Buy-in and just watch the shooter. He is rolling hot and I miss a couple prop bets waiting for a new shooter. This guy rolls the hard 4 twice in a row, and I can't take it no more. I just seen the sign from above. Buy the 4 for $400 and take the hard 4 for $400. Easy money. This guy is going to get me in the black in just one simple roll. He is hitting numbers in pairs over the next 8 rolls. I love to look for patterns in gambling(makes it more fun IMO). Then I seen it. Rolls a 10, waiting on him to pair I throw my last $100 on hard 10. Next roll is a 54. Hmmm. Odd, was supposed to be a 55. Whatever next roll is an 8. Well any basic arithmetician sees this pattern. 10,9,8,??.. Of course I keep my fingers crossed for the 22. He throws the dice and I see the first 2 land, then lean to see the other. at tha point the stick man quickly blurts 7 out! Filthy ****ing 5. I immediately storm over to the poker room stuck $4k and tell SPS to bring me home. Get dropped off and tell him I will see him on Monday.

This story seemed to drag much longer than I thought, so I am going to cut this update here. Will work on Part 3 for other things I wanted to touch on.

Amazing update.

I see the commercials for those MIO things all the time but never actually thought about using em on Vodka, I'm gonna have to try that lol

Is the girl who made the cross country trip for the D in any of those pics?

Solid update.

I think it was most likely casino security who ripped you off and not the ambulance crew. I passed out drunk in AC at a 3 card poker table with at least 300 in chips in front of me one time and woke up outside my room in a wheelchair chip less.

I think I may have touched on this before. Depending how you define circle is the question. I do not consider him a friend of mine. I do not respect him. If it cost me $200 to hypothetically save his life, I would not spend it unless I was going to be reimbursed threefold minimum. Many people in my circle ask the question of how do I stand him or associate with him. He is very inexpensive labor. Difficult to come by someone that will cater to your demands at any time and take off to casino with no hesitation. At virtually no cost in most instances. All that aside, I am used to him, and find amusement in him in various situations. He will tell me honestly to my face that he hopes I lose when I'm gambling, that he doesn't like when I win. That me losing makes him feel good. I take him for what he is. Also want to add, the situation you quoted about him, almost got him left on the side of the highway on way to A.C. one time. I told the driver the story to make fun of SPS and the driver freaked on him when SPS laughed it off like it was cool. He was eventually told to sit there and shut the **** up the rest of the ride or he was getting out.
No, after the lounge I never seen her again. She was about 30, pretty decent body with a beat face. I'm a bit surprised my friend was willing to take her face in public. Actually at your request, I may just ask my friend to ship some of her revealing body pics he probably has on his phone. Then post them here. Just twist my arm...
I'll be honest. I can't fathom that as the scenario here. Atlantic City is whole different animal than Foxwoods. Foxwoods and Mohegan are like the Disney Worlds of casinos. They are by the book and so family orientated. Also pretty sure I never hit a table game, so they would have had to go into my pocket and take just a substantial amount, then leave singles in their place. Being a gambling man I would back the EMT taking it heavily. Also I know they combed through everything of mine. When I got back my jeans(True Religion Super T), the back flaps were unbuttoned. Which is hard to do with button size. They def searched my pockets well looking for freebies.

Good read. You def need more blondes in that place though.

I was actually wondering what your reaction to that **** was lol, I'm glad you went in on him

Sure, why not lol

I wouldn't mind seeing em

In for revealing body pics

Excellent update WD.

I noticed there is a twitch stream from Foxwoods: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/li...=foxwoodspoker

Any chance we can see you there sometime, wearing a Project Degen shirt?