Slap a Snatch
I had been looking forward to this day for a while now. I patiently counted down every day by Xing out days on my make-shift calendar. It was the summer of 2003 and I was finally going home after a long year of confinement. I was up at 5am that morning with all my stuff packed. It was such a good feeling. I couldn't wait to get out and see my friends. It was a Wednesday in mid June and the weather was great. They finally called my name over the intercom to get released. The most amazing feeling walking out of this place. All I could think about was partying and making up for the year I missed. Only problem was, I was on a strict probation and had a kind of a special case manager trying to keep me from returning for something as simple as drinking. My sentence was originally only 6 months but while on parole I violated my probation for drinking and was given an extra 6 months. Well there was no parole this time around or a minimum security. My case manager initially wanted me to merge into a halfway house first but ultimately it was my decision and I opted out.
My mother had picked me up and we had a sit down meeting with my case manager. After he outlined his goals for me we were off the premises. I got back home at about 11am and went through a few things. I grabbed my keys to start my truck that I haven't driven in a year. I headed straight to the gas station to fill up. My ex Heather had known my release date because we had been in contact and I think she intentionally managed to bump into me that morning. The gas station next to my house has a tanning place next door and she was hanging out in front because she has a friend who works there. We start talking and I end up banging her in a tanning booth. I do remember a guys face when we walked out of it together as he was standing there waiting for a booth. Well that was that and I was off for my day. I washed my truck, got a messed up haircut, and called up my friends.
I end up picking up Wins. He was actually cell-mates with me but had got out a few months before me. We stayed in contact through phone calls while I was still in. We have been best friends since we were young and we were right back at it. It was starting to get late and we wanted to do something. At this point I completely disregard my probation stipulations and my mothers warnings about doing the right thing. We were off to the strip club with our fake IDs because we were only 19 at the time. We had been going to 21+ places since we were 17. That's when I discovered how to scan your paper ID and switch the dates. Then reprint it back out. We have a good time at the strip club and I bump into some old friends. We didn't pick up any girls though. This was a slow night. It was a Wednesday and not many people were partying. But Wins had already been out for a bit so he knew who was available late night.
There was this girl Snatch. I have never hung out with her because she was not that popular. But this summer she was ready to let loose. From what I understood, she had lost her virginity a week earlier under the bleachers of a local park at night time. Wins had had hung out with her through another girl he knew. He was adamant she would leave her house at 2am to hang out with us. Well shes gives us directions and we pull up in my black Extreme. She comes out, hops in, and we start driving. I think we might have had a bottle and we all started passing it around as I drove off. Problem now is where to go. Like I said it was dead tonight and neither of us had our own place. I guess were going back to my house with my mom home. I haven't been shy about this in the past but this whole case manager and probation situation was going on. Plus my mom was sick of my antics at this point in life.
We crept upstairs to my room and tried to stay quiet. I was still unsure about what this girl was up for but turns out she had no problem with the train. We had switched off a couple times and were having fun. We were drunk and being pretty loud. Back then before the camera phone days I was known for always having a camcorder. Wins and I had acknowledged we should get it running. So I went over and set it up on my TV stand. We had been pretty explicit with her for a bit but now it was show time so we had to clean up our act a little. I think Wins might have already blown his load and he was like making out with her and dry humping her. I got back in the mix by getting head and maybe playing with her tits. Been so long not exactly sure on these details. We knew the camera was running and thought this was comical. Wins at a couple points fakes a high five with me and misses on purpose to slap her across the face. Just his sense of humor u know. Then I heard a knock at my door and it was my mom. I had my door locked and she knew there was a girl in the room. She could hear all 3 of us and was pissed. Its like 330am at this point. She wants me out of the house and all I can think about is finishing off with this broad. I deter her long enough to finish her off on my futon off camera. Then we all take the brisk walk of shame out of the house. I dropped them off and went back home to bed.
My mom wakes me up at 9am and says my probation officer is on the phone. I'm hungover and like WTF. He sounds angry and demands I head straight down to the court house. I'm thinking my mom ratted me out but she denies it. I'm supposed to check-in within 48 hours or release but he says if I'm not there in 1 hour, he is going to violate me. 45 mins late I walk into his office. After a couple interrogating questions he gives me a breathalyzer. FAILED. WTF. He calls someone very important from the jail who was overseeing my case. I think I'm going back again but the guy on the phone says relapse is part of recovery. I was given the option of jail or the halfway house they wanted originally. I was given a couple hours to pack up some belongings and be escorted to the halfway house. I did think the rules at this place were going to be worse than they were. You were free to leave during the day time. You just had a curfew of 8pm. So as soon as I realized this I left and walked to a pay phone to call Wins to come get me. I didn't end up drinking that night but definitely managed to sneak out plenty. About 10pm most nights I would jump off the 2nd floor balcony and be gone for the night. But the nights I had to stay in were terrible. I didn't have my own cell phone the first few nights and would be so desperate to at least talk to someone, I would lend my truck out to a friend for the night in exchange for their phone. This whole halfway house was a real thorn in my side that summer. The dam prices I've paid for alcohol and girls...
I edited the footage from the tape that night a long time ago and tried to make humor of the slap and so on. This tape and story had really set Snatch's reputation. She didn't get much respect for years after this incident. I did bang her multiple times after this that summer. She also went on to sleep with many more guys. She went from 0-20 in one wild summer. Also that end of the clip is the friend that Wins met Snatch through. They had kind of like a thing going and Snatch made us promise the night it happened not to say anything to her. I made sure I did.