When the lights go out...

We all know the empty feeling, after we gambled till the last coin went into the casinos pocket.
It's been a long ride, 13 years to be exact. Few days ago I turned 33 and damn the years went fast. I started 2004/2005 with guys who made millions over the years and I wasted my time playing unseccesfully poker and burning even more money by playing roulette and BJ instead of accepting to not have the discipline to make it.

The last 1.5 months I saved 3k to give it a last try by betting sports only. I'm over 10k in debts and have open claims for over 5k. The plan was doing only 2-3 well selected bets a days. Sports is the only thing I'm profitable and good at it.

The first day I made 900, the second day I lost 700 back and went on tilt bc it was 3 times awfully close to win, stupid as always.
The next second I found myself at roulette with 800 at the table. Lost it in no time.
The good thing I had invested 1.1k in the golf market (European Tour: 250 on Pieters 42/1 , 150 on Kaymer 32/1 and 50 on Detry 400/1 and 2 other longshots PGA Tour: 150 on Kokrak 110/1 and 150 on Murray 120/1 and 3 other longshots
1k at the australian open winners market (plan was trading Zverev 20/1 and Thiem 48/1)
Long Story Short: Pieters 1 shot lead at the last day, Detry 3 Shots behind, I didn't lay much, and both choked.
To make it even worse, Murray and Kokrak had also the chance to win at the last day, but they also ****ed up. Instead of winning over 20k on those golf events, I nearly got nothing because I gambled as always.
The worst thing happend when Zverev and Thiem lost both in 5 sets against their opponents, so another 1k was gone.

As you can imagine, as the last game was over today, I took my last 1.5k went back to roulette and burried myself forever.
The well knowing feeling was back, sick to my stomach, shaking and sweating and thinking about suicide for a second.

I gave all my cards and access data away and will visit my first GA meeting on friday.

I know a rough time will be in front of me but I hope it's for the best.

I'm will start a blog, and a gamblers website for degen gamblers only, I have some ideas. Maybe also a yt channel.
I hope I can build a community to interact and help some people.

Best of luck to you guys and sorry for the poor english.

@sickswings quiting gambling sucks and is hard. I’ve been trying for a few years now and can’t stop. I’ve controlled it somewhat by handing over finances to my wife and have less access to money. That said when I do gamble I have been sneaky and have lied much more than I did in the past.

i'd be in for a GA-style thread if it doesn't already exist here where we can all lean on each other.

but this thread isn't that one, this is for awesome degen stories.

@PROOO I know buddy, I will hate it.
Yeah was always nice to read your crazy stories over the years. Hope you get it more and more under control.

Indeed, I would prefer to have some other addiction, instead of never have much money and joy.

@JudgeHoldem
If you and more people are interested in things like this, let me know. Like I said I wanna create a platform where people can talk and I have some other ideas aswell, using money in the community instead of burning it always at casinos. When someone "deserves" the profit, then people with the same addiction.

So guys feel free to shot me a pm if you are interested to get in touch.

That is weird, is it only me who gets a somewhat satisfying feeling when going broke after a hard night gambling? Like a feeling of freedom, really hard to explain really.

I have this feeling everytime and it is really satisfying

Da Fuq? I'm as degen as they come and not once have I ever been satisfied when the funds run out.

Self-punishment I'm sure is in the profile for any psychologists explanation for degening.

No, I hate it but apparently that feeling is exactly what many degenerates experience, so it's responsible for a lot of problem gambling.

EDIT

2nd time I played poker at the casino, playing 1/2 for what felt like serious money, I shipped mid-set OTT and got called by a guy who rivered his gutshot. So I was whining about it later to a friend who plays poker, he said 'How did you feel?', I said 'Like I'd been kicked in the balls, it was horrible!', he goes 'Well that's good - some people like it.'

I can lose multiple BI at 1/2 when I'm running bad and it doesn't even phase me. If I lose 20$ in a machine I get tilted AF. Does this make any sense?

That's pretty sick. I think you should see a therapist.

I used to feel oddly satisfied losing that way sometimes, but now my only joy is in winning.

Guilt seeks punishment. What do you feel guilty about? You have to either fix it, or forgive yourself if it can't be fixed.

Either that or you enjoy the battle, but when the battle is finally over you are so relieved that you can just relax and go home?

We had a burst of degenerate activity yesterday.

Going south to get some studying done because I wasn't getting **** done on campus, I decide to stop at one of the three casinos to play a little limit poker. Sit in with $300, promising myself to play tight, but unfortunately the table dynamic was filled with monkeys and we thought a looser approach would be beneficial. Looser? More like loser. Lose TPTK+ to top set like three times in three orbits and we're out of the game, steaming. Table games, here we come! Throw out $200 and start firing. First shoe we're playing timid (2-4 units) with a count fluctuating between like -5 and 0 but dealer is successfully busting over and over again. We're up about $150 and things are looking good.

Second shoe: +$150 to busto in eight hands

Take our last $20 and run it through a slot: busto. Hit the ATM, pull some more cash, throw a $100 in the same machine and max max max max, BINK! Six free spins, option to pick a symbol for monies, and that $100 becomes $784 instantly. No more spins, cash out, back to the poker table, immediately start firing, win $400 back from our $300 loss, and we walk out three hours later a winner.

Stupid blind luck. Should be out $600 bucks but whatever, peanuts.

I miss these days. Awesome story AlwaysFolding. One night me and my buddy went to Foxwoods and sat together in a 1/2 game. After like 8 hours I was dead even but my friend owed me $500 because I kept lending him $100 a clip every time he went broke. Eventually he went broke for the last time, but I still had $200 in front of me, so we split it up and hit a craps table. Lost it. Now I'm down only $100 but my buddy owes me $600. Neither of us had any access to cash but I happen to find a blank check buried in my wallet. Set up an account at the Woods to cash a check, and wrote them one for $200 more in dice money. We ran it up to $2K in like 2 hours and bounced! At one point, before crapping out, we had every number covered and $100 on every hard way. Wish every night ended like that.

Nothing like getting in an unlikely win in the eleventh hour. Good ****.

Am chasing now, nowt bet on so been getting next batsman out. Gone 0-5 bored that so give myself one last roll to get even , plus little extra cost who funk wants to win and just be even

Found a playoff game on golf Alex noren Vs Jason day took Alex @ 11\10

Twice try get even on next man out, and it is bored to watch . So funk doing that again

Golf at least give bit fun when watched when sudden death

Backed afc win Pro bowl and need my man Alex to get me straight .... Come on Alex funk up that stupid Aussie...

Funny when back against a team or player and your wishing bad things to happen to them , but when your team or man lose he is either your best m8 or a tool...

^ wat

Mr Folding getting amongst

Finally got back to my degenerate ways this weekend after a brief Hiatus. My last adventure which I chose not to disclose here ended with me pulling a drunken all nighter gambling away approx 30k in crypto on nitrogen sports. All started when I hit the bar with a buddy, got really drunk on redbull vodkas and started betting .02btc/ hand on nitrogen BJ. Lost what I had on the site(.3) at the time, left the bar and went home. Decided to deposit significantly more over the course of the next several hours. Mostly all on BJ but also a decent piece on Korean bball. I had a four team parlay and the the heaviest favorite ended up losing outright which put my drunken self on serious tilt.

Queue 3 hours of BJ/ sell alts, deposit, rinse and repeat until balance reached 0.0000. I was flying home in the morning and ended up staying up all night after losing all I had available in crypto. Drove to the airport and hit the bar at like 9 am, just trying to drown my sorrows in bubbles. Went and spent christmas at home with family who had no idea what was running through my head or what had taken place over the last 48 hours. This weekend was a little more tame.

Decided I wasn't going to drink this weekend(lol) and just stay in and chill/ watch movies. Friday night deposit .04 BTC into ACR. basically tread water playing .5/1 PLO- 1/2 short PLO for entertainment. It's about 12:45 am(MST) at this point and the aussie womans final is starting in 45 mins. Few notes about Tennis. I really enjoy watching. The grand slams are probably my favorite thing to watch outside of Big college football/ NFL games. Despite Haleps grueling tourney I really thought she was destined to beat Woz. Also doesn't hurt that I'm super dtf halep as well. Bet account balance(.05btc) on Halep -130 to win. For those that watched, you know it was an incredibly intense back and forth match. Simona looked down and out several times but somehow was serving up a break at 4-3 in the final set. She ends up losing serve twice in a row to lose the set 4-6 and the match. It was about 4:45 am at this point. I wasn't really on tilt after the loss but I was so wired from the intensity of the match that there was no way I was heading to bed yet.

Queue alts selling action. Load up an additional .07 BTC on ACR and play 1/2 short PLO. Run pretty well but end up playing all night, end with my account balance at .15 BTC.

Saturday I don't really do **** but have the urge to play again around 5 after a few hour nap. A short session turns into me playing 1/2-2/4 PLO for 14 straight hours, only to finish even on the session. This also include me betting .01 BTC on fed to win Aussie final 3-2, which he did, which paid out .07 roughly.

After 4 hours of sleep I hit the gym, grab lunch with friends, planning to stay away from my comp and cash out. After lunch a friend convinces me to grab some beer(I hadn't drank all weekend to this point) and just hang out/ watch the pro bowl. We're sipping on beers and I fire up .5/1 NL Omaha table and just proceed to get bent over for like 2 hours. It's around 8 pm at this point and we're heading out to see a movie so I go to quit the table. ACR now has a new feature where you can Double or nothing your win/ loss amount when exiting a table such that if you lose you can break even, or if you win you can double your total winnings. You select either red or black, and if the card matched your color you win. Usually I stay away from this nonsense but for some reason I was super tilting from endless poundage at NL OMAHA(crazy f'in game) that I snap clicked on black without realizing how much I was attempting to chase. Turns out it was -462.00. I did not win. Now down 924 dollars and heading out to see a movie, utterly pissed, but not necessarily about the play, at this point I was really kicking myself for selecting the double or nothign option. Out of all the degen things I do for some reason I've been able to avoid this one, but not this time around.

Movie was fantastic. If you haven't seen 3 Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri yet I highly recommend you go see it. Certainly worthy of all it's Oscar accolades.

However, at this point, my mind was on one thing. I get home to see my remaining balance at 1300 or so which is more than I was expecting. Fire up 1/2 PLO it's about 11 PM this time and I've got to work at 9 am. 1 am rolls around and I'm running well, now up about 100 for the day including the 900 loss from earlier. Know I should go to bed but amped up and can't sleep. Sit at 1/2 PLO HU. win like 300 off some guy in an hour and now up 400 for the day. Definitely should call it a day. So what do I do? go to the fridge, grab a coke, turn on freaks and geeks, and keep playing. Same guy I took the 300 off of rebuys. I proceed to lose OVER 10 BUY INS of 100 each to him at 1/2 PLO short(1k+) over the next few hours. Nice dude, we chatted most the time, but literally could not lose an all in. He quits me and I'm absolutely rage tilting at this point. I've got like 900 in my account and I was ready to make the money back quickly.

Sit 3/6 PLO HU, lose the ~900 in 30 hands maybe. It's 7 am and I have to work at nine. contemplate sleeping for 1.5 hours. LOL yeah right. Sell more crypto, deposit .11 BTC back. by the time it's processed its like 7:40, I go straight to 5/10 PLO short. 500 max buy in so I have just over two. Run hot. double up twice, leave the table with 1590. Head to 2/4 PLO HU. A guy sits down vs me who I've played a bunch in the past and is really really bad IMO. super weak passive, plays hands face up etc. He spews 800 off to me in like 20 mins by ONLY betting nutted hands but calling a bunch. If you wan't a style to emulate to win at this game, his isn't it. Sorry bud no hard feelings but I might as well have been holding your cards for you. it's 8:20 at this point. I call my boss tell him I will be late. Sit 2/4 against a good reg(twitch streamer). He owns me for like 800 in no time. I'm fuming. I should have just quit and gone to work. Check the time. It's 9:15, ****. have about an hour before I really need to get to work. Back to 5/10 short. Run pure, double up and then some in like 10 mins.

check account balance. After everything was said and done, including all deposits, managed to finish the weekend up about 1k.

gambling: +1k
health: -5 yrs
sleep over three day weekend: 7 hours.
feeling right now: trance state.

Hope this helps this thread get back on track. Anyways, happy to finish up. Usually these degen runs always end in the same fashion. Only thing keeping me awake now is adrenaline. Going to leave work and head back for some 2/4 PLO. WISH. ME. LUCK.

The last part I would guess, that it's finally over. Biggest reason for that is that I usually dont play 3-4-5 hour blackjack sessions, more like 30-40 minutes pressing like crazy and either lose my buy-in that I planned to spend (still a huge amount in normal people´s terms) or win big. What can really tilt me is when I set up a target to win xxx amount and I am maybe 1-2 bets away from it and then end up losing it all over a few hands.

"I won my freedom last night, all it cost was everything I had"

Chase your mom round her house all fun and she wearing this super cute little tight shorts and bra top

So when you go out I call in on your mom , this been going on for about week

So both get tired and sit on your moms bed and she gives me rhis look like I know your a degen and no good for me but whatever lets do it

So I lean over to kiss her and she moves her leg and know am super hard and then I see I big hairy ball hanging out of corner of her shorts . Am like wtf

Yeah. Maybe like me you don't really want to hit that goal because then you're supposed to leave but you don't want to leave, you want to be in the game...

Colin piddle did I piddle you of?

I once bet a homeless man that he could not be homeless for a day

I won but he never paid me.