**** you.

^ Wat

its bbv, flaming and general rudeness should e expected.

captain crank i enjoyed your degen story. espically the chat support after gambling on casino games. i actually nearly spat my drink over my screen.

By far the worst degen story ever.

This is the definition of tl;dr.

For future reference, we dont need to hear about every single goddamn hand you play.

Also we are not particularity interested in how the pizza buffet was at the borgata, or how ur manager has 3 kids and yells at you.

We wanna hear you lost ur shirt at the table without an in depth analysis on cullinary perfections of AC. This story could have been condensed into like 10 sentaces.

Also use paragraphs.

Pretty much. I did like how 2/3 through his giant block of text he used the phrase 'And now the story begins'. What was all that other **** I read then?

The greatest prelude ever. Directed by Peter Jackson.

This is easily my favorite degen story so far.

Can't believe I read it all ugg

Well, I can finally contribute to this fantastic thread.

Saturday a week ago, I got home from the pub extremely drunk and in a pretty bad mood after meeting my ex-gf.

At the time, it seemed like a good idea to start playing BlackJack at iPoker (rigged?). Well to make a long story short: I started betting €50 a hand, switched to €300 a hand and pretty quickly lost my whole €6.5k roll.

I woke up with the worst hangover ever and in total panic. I am paying my way through lawschool playing $100nl and $200nl for 3 years now, and because of my problematic overspending the last couple of months and a 22bi downswing I only had €2k in my Neteller account and €2.5k in my bank account, and my rent is €700 a month and I'll go on vacation soon. I've never done something that stupid in my life.

So, the only thing I could do about it was deposit my Neteller balance (on a site with no BJ!) and start grinding again.

Results (brag):

My very first fist-fight was with Barry Greenstien's son (his real one nathan, not that other hairy doosh). It was at a carl's junior in torracne (you know the one on PCH and hawthorne) and we were playing .25/.50 with actual quarters.

I made fun of him for getting kicked out of our high school (Smoking weed) over xanga. And when he saw me he sucker punched me.

What a doosh.

Not really a degen story but i figure you guys might enjoy it.

Not sure how much of a degen this makes me, but i will constantly deposit days before being paid using ewallet hoping it doesnt hit my bank before i get paid. sometimes it does. sometimes ti doesnt. But at times ive ran up 300+ in overdraft fees then tilted off all my money at the tables

The tilting off part makes you a bit of a degen, I guess. What are overdraft fees? On a normal bank account in The Netherlands, you can get your balance down to -€1000 without any fees (you'll have to pay ~10% interest). After that, you just can't withdraw money in any way.

This thread is pure gold - lmfao so much can't do my usual grind and spew.

Not sure what country Ezed is from but in the US anyway, "standard" seems to be if your bank account at any time goes negative they slap a fee from $20-$50 on your already negative account. Depending on the bank, often they slap another fee for every transaction that comes through while it's negative... and sometimes they turn down those transactions as well, while still charging the fee. A few small transactions and you could be at -$200 in the account AND facing charges for stuff like returned payment/checks from the people you paid and your bank rejected. I'd take the Netherlands system over the typical states system anyday. Obviously not all banks do this... some limit the fees and some charge the fee for every transaction but still allow them to go through. But that's what overdraft fees are.

I can't believe you quoted the entire story for a one line reply...ugh

After 2 years of playing and finally buying hold'em manager to track my results, I have come to the conclusion that I in fact do have tilt issues.

def this, people don't know how to post but berate others

lol, one tourney per day, sunday is free

No... this is about 3 weeks of results. Not one tourney a day. I have played for 2 years+ online, but I hadn't started tracking my results until I recently purchased hold'em manager.

Funny as ****! And sadly, I totally understand.

Not really up to par in this thread, but good effort nevertheless:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54...o-well-192951/

when I was about 18 went up to Montreal from NJ to play in the casino and get sloppy drunk (gambling and drinking age is 18).. Went with two of my buddies one of whom brought up 500 the other brought up about 100 (broke.). I brought up about 700.
First day we get there we head right to the casino playing three-card poker and all sorts of **** just blinded by the bright lights we wind up losing 800 between us. We take the remaining 500 and get a room in the city and get wasted. Next day we check into a new hotel and persuade the lady to give us a suite for 220$. We had til next morning to pay for it.. Right after that we head back to the casino and proceed to lose our last 500 and another 1000 withdrawn from the ATM on my part. We are basically flat broke. We had no gas in my car, no money for food, no money to pay for the hotel, and my ATM stopped working because I went over the limit. We use our last 40 dollars to buy a cab back to the hotel and a bottle of soco. I spend about 4 hours on the phone with the bank and finally they allow me to take out my remaining 300$ from my account (just enough to get home and pay for the hotel). About 4 AM both of my buddies pass out and I was still full of energy. I took a cab over to the casino and sat down at the poker table with 200$. Went on a huge heater and ran it up to about 1400$ and cashed out at 10 AM.
I get a call from my boy whose pissed asking me wtf im doing and I told him I was at the casino and on my way back and hung up. When i get back they were both gone so i passed out for a bit. woke up and they are standing over the couch ready to kill me thinking i lost all of the money so i pulled out the roll of hundreds and threw it at them.

i hope my degen story isnt too long for you guys

my interest in poker spiked after watching chris moneymaker took down the wsop main event. ive noticed he had weak hands when his nostrils flared and what not. i told myself that im probably like a super good poker player because i could read peoples souls. later that weekend, i started playing $2/4 limit at a local card room with $20 buyins. After realizing my JJs dont play on a AAKKQ board, I decided to tone down my attitude and read a lot of books on how to win low limit holdem. a couple months later, i was back playing poker again. im pretty sure i was a losing player but there were times when i went on sick heaters that it almost brainwashed me to a point where i was good enough to play higher limits. i had access to a large sum of money at that time and i decided to play 10/20, 15/30, 30/60 on party poker. i loved playing online so much more than live games because i didnt have to deal with loud drunks, 2nd hand smoking, could play in my boxers and most of all, i loved the "congratulations" message everytime i took down a pot. (i still vividly remember when the opponent slow played quads and i ended up making a boat on the river. he was slow rolling like crazy at the end, asking me if i had "quads" and puffed out a cloud of smoke at my face while capping the river. yea picture someone jizzing on your face while turning over quads. sick **** i tell ya)

i would play 4-8 tables at a time on party poker and my luck finally turned around. i started losing dramatically and combination of my good hands getting cracked definitely made me a lose even more. my poker buddy told advised me to start from the bottom and i would have to entirely change my game. this meant no more raising KJ off UTG. i told him that it isnt really the money that i was playing for but i just enjoyed high limit because people played properly and i loved giving them action. (in a way...i admit i was a fish?) then my friend gave me one piece of advice that changed my poker career: "3 bet in position preflop." i started to 3 bet in position preflop and i swear i took down 70% of pots on the flop. when i did have the goods, people paid me off. when people played back at me, i folded. this went on for a while until i hit the party poker bbj for $130k. im not saying $130k is chump change, it was definitely a decent amount for me at the time and i just decided to cash out. i thought i would go on trips with my friends, go shopping, invest, etc.

this is when i ventured into table games. i dont want to sound like a spoiled brat but i treated my bbj winning as like a allowance money. im sure i could have bought a house or something and get it over with but at that time, i had no desire to make a large purchase. i was just too young and immature. i would go a local casino that offered the highest limit game and played 20/40. the casino was so big that often i was on the waiting list for a while. with nothing to do, i would play table games just to kill time. i was betting $5 minimum bets and it was just all fun. before i knew it, i was betting quarters and 1s. i think there was a day when i actually blew $1k playing blackjack which was poker $. from that day on, i brought additional $1k for playing table games just in case if i lose it all playing table games so i would still have money left over to play poker. that didnt work out too well because i would lose the money i brought to play poker. i would lose $1k slowing betting 25s and 50s and once i lose that, i would bust out $1k and play 2 hands of 500s.

ive been losing money for about a month or two and i finally fell into the black hole. i bet table max of $500 2 handsand got 4 As against the dealers face card. i didnt want to split but i have to get even right ? (i think negative) i split first 2 As and got 2 more As. i puked because i couldnt hit anymore after that. the dealer said she has never seen 6 aces before blah blah blah but im probably gonna win my other As. Split my 2nd AAs and got an 8 and finally a face. the dealer had 20 and i lost $1500. ive never experienced anything like that before and i walked away from the bj table. as i was walking over to the bathroom, ive noticed the bacarrat room. i saw all asian guys smoking and marking down things on a piece of paper and stacks of blacks and greens. i sat down with them and decided to give it a try. i lost 500 in a matter of a second and i didnt even know what the heck happened but i knew this would be the game to play.

i would bring at least 3-5k to the casino everyday and i actually didnt play any table games when i would win playing poker but when i would lose 3-5 racks playing 20/40, i would venture over to the baccarat table and make it back. this one time i actually dropped 3k playing 20/40 and told the table i would rather play bacarrat to make 3k back in 1 hand then playing 8+ hours of playing poker. players didnt believe me and they actually followed me to the baccarat table and saw my 6 purple chips on player when player had natural 8. they were amazed that i had the balls to bet that high. after this win, i was playing baccrat everyday. i was a gambler for sure. i would carry +10k in cash everyday, went out with my friends, went shopping, ate out at nice restaurants, tipped well, paid for everybody and went to the casino later at night to make the money back. i thought i was so cool and hip because i was balling out of control from all the baccrat winnings. of course i was dilussional. soon, i started losing and the thought of "making it back" really got me at the end. there was a day when i play for 5+ hours of baccarat and completely lost all of money. i felt empty and numb. the floor felt bad that he didnt even say anything when i left quitely without playing for the dealer commission. i didnt even have money to tip the valet guy. he knew i always tip big but he knew something was up. he even asked me if i was alright. i was depressed. i think i was just more shocked than being sad about losing $. $10k is not a chump change but losing $10k gambling? i mean what did i turn into? i would never in a million years though i would lose $10k gambling.....especially in 6 hours. i drove home at 5 am with my windows rolled down to keep me awake and just went straight to work. it was hell trying to stay awake at work.

for about a month, i didnt gamble at all. i told myself that i might have a gambling problem and even went to a GA meeting. after being at the meeting, ive met some folks who have lost their houses,cars,wives,etc all because of gambling. deep down inside of me, i told myself that im not one of these guys and i should be okay. (denial is not just another river in egypt)
i actually did stay away from gambling for a while until my friend and i decided to go canada to check out a pretty big casino. ive brought $30k with me which was just for show and i had no intention of spending it. once i got to the casino, i blew it all playing bj in matter of 5 mins and my friend suggested that we neeeded to go to vegas. we drove straight to the airport from the casino and flew out to go to vegas. ive never done something so sporadic like this in the past but this was my first vegas trip (wasnt planned) and i was very excited. with no money on me, i applied for a marker but i dont think they took me seriously? it must have been my age and attire. i called up my bank to transfer money but i had to wait a 1.5 days to clear up. when it was all set and done, i had $200k in front of me. in the course of 4 hours, my chips were gone. my friend stopped giving me high fives and we ewre both quiet. i lost majority of $ at the venetian and they comped us a sick table at tao. we probably ordered like $15k worth of booze. i drank like crazy, partied hard and threw up next day. on the flight and driving back, i told my friend i am done gambling.

this was at the end of 05. during 2006 and feb 2008, ive lost more than $70k playing table game and a little bit of poker. i think thats when it really hit rock bottom when i used cash advanced to pay for another cc. my family members knew about my problem and they made sure that i wasnt going to have access to my funds that ive personally earned from my projects. i had $0 in my bank account. i had to stop. i was such a weak, skinny person because i never ate when i gambled. i couldnt. i was too stressed out to eat. i decided to keep myself busy and enjoy life to the fullest. life without poker and gambling. i picked up brazilian jiu jitsu, started lifting weights 4 times a week, tried a lot of new things, went snowboarding again, etc. i am actually in the best shape of my life and i feel great. it has been such a long time since i played poker, i went to the local card room to play some cards for fun. i was playing nothing but solid cards but they kept getting cracked. i bought in $1200 playing 8/16 and after 25 hours later, i left the place only down $400. my AA were cracked 7 times that session. most importantly, ive lost 5 lbs of muscle mass due to lack of calories, etc. i was furious. all the hard work ive put in and i was slowly losing it. the very next day i went back to the casino thinking im going to get that "$400" back. i ended up playing a lot longer than ive expected to and ended up down again. i decided to up the stake to 20/40 and i lost $2k playing nothing but good cards. i was proud of myself for leaving the seat with $125 instead of just literally giving those chips away. right after that happened, i drove to a different casino to play bacarrat. i was on a mission ALL OVER AGAIN.

i just roam around 2+2 because some of posts are just ridiculously awesome. i stopped gambling and hopefully its going to stay that way. wish me luck guys!

^^ Winnar

OMG sick, sick story

needsFH2win is the sickest degen on here

long live the king