Pretty sure I remembered it correctly when I copy/pasted TimDawn's story.

You suck at life & pokerz

yeah timdawns story sucked im glad he stuck around to ruin this thread after it

FYP

Haha you are a sad, pathetic waste of a human being. Like I said, the money I had on bovada was nothing compared to my liferoll so the story was hardly degen. I'm actually glad that I made some of you trolls mad or annoyed. It makes me feel good. Most of the degens ITT are pathetic wastes of human existence.

I could care less about getting banned, I'll always make another account and troll you raging degens once more. Stay mad because you are all bad at poker.

And to the guy who challenged me for heads up. Get on WPN or Bovada and I will take every single dollar you have. I can't play on stars/ftp because of where I live. I would love nothing else than to take every single dollar of every person in this thread. Anyone on bovada or WPN please PM me for heads up. Name your stakes, I have more money than you broke degens.


Stay mad my friends

So let me get this straight....you find people in this thread pathetic wastes, yet you spend your time going out of your way to try and piss off people over the internet?

You then go on to say, even if you're banned you will make another account so you can spend more time trying to aggravate people because you find it amusing.

Maybe it's time you try and develop some sort of social life, ya?

I get enjoyment out of making nerds rage. It's funny. I'm actually very nice and sociable IRL. I used to try and be nice to people on these forums. Then all people did was try and troll me and say EAD. Well, paybacks a bitch. I could care less about you sad, pathetic nerds. My advice to you is to go outside (for once), get a job, and stop being a waste of human existence.

But in reality all of you people are just going to go back to the casino and dump your life savings to them. Dreaming that one day you will hit it big and make all of your losses back. In reality, you will always be a broke ass idiot that has a gambling problem. No matter how much help you seek you are just a weak human being that will never have the strength of willpower to control your gambling urges. I had a degen friend like you guys, so I know exactly the way you guys think. You delude yourselves into believing outrageous things and end up in massive debt.

One time I was at the casino with him. He was playing BJ I was playing poker. Well, when I was done with my session I found him at a BJ table with $1500 in front him. Which was $500 profit. I said lets go man you're up a good amount and we've been here a while. He says "no man, I'm on a heater. never leave when you're on a heater." He's pounding 2 beers at a time and starts betting big and gets stuck. I ask him several times to leave but once a true degen is stuck, he wont leave until he is broke. He is my ride home which is over an hour drive. 4 hours later, he finally goes busto after playing like a complete dumbass. Then I say let's go and he says no. I say wtf man you're broke lets go. He says loan me $200. I say hell no man you will never pay me back. I knew this guy since high school and he was actually a good friend back then. Anyways he says "Well if you don't loan me $200, I wont give you a ride home. I have $200 at home I can pay you back when we get home". Something made me not believe him but I was in a pretty bad pinch because it was so late. I couldn't call to have someone else pick me up. I loaned him the $200 and he lost it. He asked me to loan him more I said no. He ends up leaving me at the casino and I have to hitch a ride home. Of course I never saw that $200 again and I haven't talked to him since.

This is what I am talking about. Every time I see a degen post it reminds me of this guy and how pathetic wastes of human existence you people really are. You are all scumbags and will never change your ways. you are powerless to your addiction. Just like drug addicts. You will never change.

To be honest, the only time I spend on 2+2 is usually while i'm sitting in my office, at work.

Sorry you couldn't make any friends in the interwebz, but maybe one day, when you stop being so self adsorbed and upset, you will be able to roll with the punches and have a good laugh.

Until then enjoy your time trying to troll people on the internet, nerd.

ROFL, you think I'm trying to make friends on the interwebz? I make friends IRL. Because that's where you find good friends. Keep dumping your paycheck to the casino, degen.

EAD OP

This message is hidden because TimDawn is on your ignore list.

I made u mad

lol, because I pasted a post of yours that made you look like an idiot? Yup, that must be it.

Didn't read the rest. Reading your posts reminds me of a needy woman. Yeah, not gonna read that crap.

Haha stay mad because I rustled your jimmies. I could care less about you posting that story. I actually think its funny you took the time to search for it. Cute attempt to troll me yet epicly failing. Like I said, you are a waste of human existence. Enjoy the rest of your meaningless existence .

no one ever wins an argument on the internet. so please just get along or stop posting

This thread has turned into the same 5 posters arguing over and over. What a waste.

glad to see that nerd gone
he tries to expose me and claims im making up my stories
and his proof in quoting me shows his horrible reading comprehension level

I was never mad, and stay away from my balls.

didnt play poker for some time. cashed in 15 euro on saturday because i was bored. ran that up to 800 not caring for bankrollmanagement. spent something like 70 hours of the last 5 days playing poker. addiction really got me again.
i feel like an old man now and my face looks destroyed from spending so much time in front of the computer.

i cashed out the remaining 650 that i have today and am deinstalling all pokersoftware i have on my computer. that game took way too much time and energy of me.

not very degen but i still feel ****ing bad for letting myself go like that when this is the only week of holidays i´ll have for the next 4 months.

Picture of your face, bang?

Title: The Titanic Poker Story

The following story is based on true events.


Chapter 1: Getting to know the basics

8 years ago a young sprite woke up in the morning and stepped outside. He took a deep breath and got real high. He screamed to the top of his lungs "What's goin' on?" Much to his surprise a black Cadillac in the neighborhood slowed down and pulled up right in front of him. He couldn't see inside the tinted windows and then the driver window rolled down. A ghastly old man sat inside. He kind of looked like Jack Nicholson and told the 18 year old kid "Hey Sonny, I'm Wild Bill. I'm going down to a poker game. Care to join me?". The young lad responded "I've never played poker before. I've only seen the World Series of Poker on television. I'm only 18". Wild Bill retorted "Well you are old enough to play kiddo. I'll teach ya on the way. What's your name?". The kid nervously responded "Bartholomew". Bill smiled and said "Okay Bart. Hop in, we're gonna make a boat load of money together". Bart was intrigued. He worked as a grocery bagger at the local supermarket. He never even had more than a thousand dollars to his name. Let alone millions. He hopped in the passenger seat of the caddy and they were on their way.

And so Bill told Bart all the basics on how to play poker and make money at it. He told him that he has been a professional for 39 years. He said that he had made millions from the game. Bart told him he only had 20 bucks on him. And asked if it was enough. Bill laughed and said "Bucko, I'm going to stake you. Staking is a business deal between poker players. I'll give you money to play, and you get to keep a certain percent of the profits. Today I'm going to give you $2000. Which is 2 buyins in the 5/10 no-limit holdem game we'll be playing today. You get to keep 20% of all the profits you make today. If you lose, well we'll get to that later but since it's your first time. You've got beginner's luck and nothing to worry about". Bill handed over $2000 to Bart and said "Don't think of doing anything silly kid. Put that money in your crotch so no one can try to steal it from you." Bart obeyed Bill's orders and stuck it whitey tighties.

They arrived to this bar around 2PM. Bart nervously asked Bill "The game is in here? Is this area safe?" Bill said "Barty, don't worry about it. There's never been a problem here with Wild Bill around." So they walked in and Bill told the bartender to unlock the door to the back room for him. They walk in and see a gambler's paradise. They had 2 tables of blackjack going, a table of craps, roulette, and 3 poker tables. A floorman walked up to them and shook bills hand saying "Hey Bill, long time no see. How you been?" Bill said "Hey Lonny. Not bad for a fat old man. This here is Bart. He's my nephew and he wants to play some 5/10 Holdem with me today. Is that okay?" Lonny laughed and said "Of course, anything for you buddy".

So they each took a seat at the 5/10 table and Bill called out "Chips!". Bill handed the chip runner 1k and then the runner walked up to Bart and asked how much he wanted. Bart just remembered his money was still in his underwear. He blushed and stood up, turned around, reached in his underwear pulled out the money and handed the man 1k. The table bursted out with laughter. The runner gave him a disgusted look and took the money. He returned with chips and the game resumed.

The very first hand Bart grabbed his cards and put them right up to his face. He looked at a J4. The table announced it was his turn to act. Bart mumbled "What do I do? What are my options?" One player named Paul who had some yellowed teeth and smelled like body odor mixed with an unwiped arse said "Quack quack, you trying to hustle us kid? Quack quack". Bart was taken aback and he said "No I'm not. This is honestly my first time playing and I have no clue how to play". Bill put his palm on his forehead and shook his head. Paul snickered and said "Well then you should probably raise. But you can call or fold too". The dealer announced it was $35 to call. Bart grabs a substantial amount of green chips and throws them in the middle. They go flying and rolling all over the place. After a few minutes the dealer managed to organize all the chips together and announced his raise was to $325. Bill had a menacing look on his face. A look that said "Do you remember anything I f****** told you?".

So it was back onto the initial raiser and he elected to call. The flop rolled out 44jack. The initial raiser said I'm putting you all in. He had at least 4k back. Bart was flustered. He had no clue as to the strength of his hand. He took a double look at his cards and saw all of his cards matched the board. The remembered a poker movie he once saw and said "Well I'll see that raise" then he reached in his underwear and pulled out the rest of his money "and I'll raise you another $1000". The table was in an uproar. "YOU CANT RAISE MONEY OFF THE TABLE ITS TABLE LIMITS KID!" shouted Paul. The initial raiser responded "Guys, guys, settle down its ok. I'll allow it. I call your bet kid. Let's see what you got". Bart nervously flipped over his cards. His opponent stood up and slowly walked behind Bart. This man was huge. He was like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of poker. He grabbed Bart by the sides and lifted him up like he weighed nothing. Bart is about 5'11", 180 pounds. He threw Bart against the wall and said "YOU CHEATER! I KNOW YOU'RE CHEATING AND YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS LITTLE BITCH!" Wild Bill tapped the mammoth on the shoulder. He turned his head while leaving right hand clenching Bart's neck "WHAT DO YOU WANT BILL? THIS IS YOUR NEPHEW? YOU BROUGHT A CHEAT IN HERE?". Bill calmly said "No Arnold, he's not cheating. It's honestly his first time ever playing. He just raised it to $325 preflop with jack 4 off. The dealer has been dealing here for years there is no way he cheated." Arnold slowly turned his head back to Bart gritting his teeth "You're lucky I respect Bill kid. Or I would rip you a new @$$hole". He released his suffocating clench around Bart's neck and he gasped for air while collapsing onto the floor. The game resumed while Bart tried to recover from being strangled. A few minutes later he came back to the table and looked down at his new stack of chips. It was only $3000. Arnold smiled at Bart and said "Table limits Bart". Bart kind of had an idea of how he should have $4000 instead of $3000. But he kept his mouth shut in fear of getting killed. At least he won the pot even though he never got to find out what Arnold had.

End of part one.

That was already posted a few pages ago...

Can we please close this thread and at least let it die with some dignity.

King and Sweat would be ashamed.

won 19k at a casino down in Atlanta and than flew red eye to vegas to bet sports and ended up winning about 30k more than gave half of it all away on one spin of the wheel at roulette...

i was feelin it tho!!