Not sure if level

That tosh hand was fake IMO, there were people playing $5 a hand at the same table. Doesn't seem right.

No, its real.

The only setup was allowing him to go to a $5 table.

This has happened several times in Vegas when a TV documentary type big bet happens.

A while ago, guy in the UK decided to sell everything he had, go to Vegas and put it on Red at the roulette table.

He coordinated with the Plaza Casino, got it all on tape and he did it at a "normal" roulette table

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashley_Revell

After a few months out from poker I deposit £200 onto Winner.Poker with the plan to play on the shallow tables with £10 buyins, i download Tilt Breaker software with a built in Stop Loss and Table Limit (cannot play over 25c/50c) and ban casino games from the account - i know that im a degen so have to cover my bases!

i run £200 upto about £800 in a month and thing are going sweet untill i go out to a party end up back at my mates flat all sniffed up and ended up losing a couple of hundred on his laptop where of course there is no bankroll saving software.

A minor setback i think and roughly at the same time i get an email to sign upto a different site for a slighty higher 55% rb deal so i withdraw from winner and deposit £600 onto the different site, all the same rules apply, i have tilt breaker etc however there is a new problem, the site has a casino on the interwebs which shares your poker bankroll with there casino.

I work out that if i download the KGB web filter software ill be safe and lo and behold i get upto £950 over the next couple of weeks and everything is fine again...

then it happens.

I lose about £50 on some stupid hand where the villain catches the mircale and im tilting hard. i google Bet fred to see if i can find a different way onto the site.

ah yes Mobi.Betfred (or similar) i go on and play blackjack. bet £20 lose repeat lose, repeat lose. Bet £50 lose....repeat get 10, dealer shows a 6.

i double down. get a 2 and dealer hits 7 7.

i might of lost a couple more and when i stop im down to £462.

i put £450 on Bayern to beat Chelsea in 90 minutes in that evenings game.

i'd win back £800 odd and after Muller scores in the 85th minute im all happy and then of course that turd Drogba does this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Qmeokk1EfI

GG bankroll.

If your losses were in the 3 digits they most likely don't qualify for this thread...

http://tosh.comedycentral.com/video-...p---uncensored

I googled: ebay, las vegas and tosh
I am a ****ing genius

Degeneracy. Meh. Lack of Patriotism. Unforgivable.

Haha thats great, setup or not. Love how the 1st box completely ****ed him.

This

Better luck next time

(posted by accident while I was still writing, whoops)

OK, I've posted about this in bits and pieces a few times but never the full story; hopefully someone can at least be entertained by me dumping like 30k in less than a year (most of which is on credit cards)

about me: mid 20s, Asian (gamboool), have real job (active US military)

Summer 2011, get back from Iraq for the 2nd time, feeling baller on account of a huge re-enlistment bonus (~50k tax free, half up front). Spend 10k to buy parents a car, 5k down payment on a Lexus I leased, 10k left and I started spending money like water (~5k on stupid ****) until I discovered sports betting

Gambooling habit to this point had been 200NL home games max loss 2-3BI in a night, two or three nights a week; was only slightly losing player for the most part. Met a local bookie at the home game who hooked me up with a site to place bets on and he'd pay out my wins/take my losses. I start looking at the monster payouts you can get for hitting even a 3-4 game parlay and get in deep, playing the entire board in the middle of the MLB regular season.

Last $5k of my re-enlistment bonus goes in short order and stupid real life **** is taking up my day job pay. I decide to get only the third real credit card I've ever had and my jaw hits the floor when they tell me I'm good for a $13k limit. **** yeah, son! I just need to hit a 6-teamer and I'll be rolling in hookers and blow in no time! I don't even wait to get the card in the mail; just take one of the convenience checks straight to the teller and pull a $3k advance.

This is the point where I start actually researching sports betting and finally learn that parlays are ****ing retarded and I feel retarded for ever playing them. I decide there's a better edge in learning about sabermetrics and using SDQL (check it out, pretty nifty tool) to beat MLB prop bets like 1H/2H run lines, R+H+E over/unders, etc.

Unfortunately I'm too ****ing lazy to actually learn enough to use it effectively and still so ****ing stupid that I place a bet on every single game being played every day because I tilt so hard when the bets my "system" says should be the highest edge get boned by one impossible catch or James ****ing Shields giving up more runs in an inning than the entire rest of the Rays lineup in the last series.

$3k advance, gone. Pull $4k, put 1000 in action at the home games - gone in a day due mostly to monkey tilt (3 or 4 colluding mother****ers called my 10x preflop raise with aces, we get it in on a dry board and they check it down -- one of them flopped 2pr with Qx ldo). Other $3k lasts a couple weeks before I forget how ****ty parlays are and start taking big ass swings at my bookie, going for 8-team parlays on goddamn Japanese Baseball that pay out $20k if I hit and always missing one game by a mile or two games that were off the o/u by barely a run.

I move to DC a couple months later (Fall 2011); first night in the area I drop my **** off in storage and go to the Borg. I feel like a dumbass for taking a nap first even though I'd been on the road for twelve hours because once I got there, I heard that early that morning (i.e. when I would have gotten there had I gone straight instead of being a pussy scared of falling asleep at the wheel and plunging my shiny new Lexus into a retaining wall) one of the biggest BBJs that they had ever built up was hit at a 500NL table.

Wait, I play 500NL sometimes! Mother ****er, that could have been me! ...and so I sit, pre-tilted for the convenience of everyone around me, and dump a handful of buy-ins at 1-2 and 2-5. I actually put together a decent run at the side tournaments they were running for the Borgata Poker Open but blew it all on roulette and blackjack (felt like so much less work than poker with so much faster action), and ended up just sleeping in my car after my comped nights ran out. Last $6k on the card, gone.

I stumble out of the casino in a daze after the ATM denies my transaction (thought I had more available for cash advances) and call the gambling help line, and this is about how the conversation goes:

"Hi, this is Mark, you've reached the gambling addition hotline. How can I help you?" (sounded like some airheaded bro-type in his mid 30s, would totally believe it if he ended up being fat, too)
"Hey Mark, this is [Degenfish], how's it going? I had a question about the self-exclusion policies they have at the casinos..."
"Uhh... I'm sorry... what?"
"You know, the policy where you sign up, and they don't let you gamble anymore or even come into the casino; I just wanted to know if you can do that temporarily, like for six months maybe or just until you can afford it again?"
"Umm... sir, this is the, uhh, gambling addiction hotline... I don't know anything about any casino, you're gonna have to call another number..."
[sigh]
"Fine, whatever."
[click]

What kind of ****ing morons do they hire that don't even know about basic **** like self-exclusion policies that are immediately relevant to their jobs? *******s.

Anyway, over the winter I transferred the 13k balance to a new card and spent the first installment of my remaining $25k from the bonus on a used car after I totaled the Lexus (found at fault for getting hit while making a left turn when I had a green arrow, lol).

Fast forward to the first long weekend in January. I make it back to the Borg and decide to take a shot at 1000NL -- hey, my 13k debt is only like 13BI, and there's like twice that on just the one table! "**** it, I've gone on runs like that before," Mike says in my head. "Under optimum conditions, with a bankroll, maybe..." Worm, shut the **** up you *******, no one likes you. So, I make an advance for $1000 and run it up to 15k over 4 days solid at the 5-10 tables, Dwyte Pilgrim to my right, Allen Bari to my left, and live happily ever after, paying off my debt and playing within my bankroll in the future.

HAHA JUST KIDDING I go on Hulk tilt after building up to like $1800 on a super soft table and getting stacked with KK < AA after we got the money in on a K-high flop (mother ****er shouted "Barry Greenstein!" after the turn bricked out and of course dealer finds an ace on the river) the worst thing is I know I could've taken that table for another 3 or 4k easy but now I'm making advances again and the fat chick at the cash services window is looking at me judgmentally and I feel like **** but I know I can just grind it out or put a couple hundred down here or there trying to run it back up at roulette or video poker or maybe find a loose slot machine (oh God I feel so retarded for ever putting so much as a cent in those things or on the roulette tables).

$1k loss turns into $5k loss in less than 36 hours. I decide to head home tired as balls and look for a place to sleep off of 95, hit some random exit in south PA, start taking random turns looking for a supermarket parking lot or something when LO AND ****ING BEHOLD completely by accident I swear to God I see Harrah's Chester. I debate with myself whether or not to cut my losses (for about 30 seconds lol) and head straight to the 500NL tables after pulling $500 from my checking account. Double it up to 1k YES ALRIGHT THE STREAK IS OVER take the $500 profits and play craps for the first time **** YES THIS GAME IS FUN especially when you win ANOTHER $1000!!!111!!one!

at this point I've been up for about 46 hours and don't feel a damn thing. I sit back down at 2-5 and after the tables thin out I end up being stupid enough to agree to bumping it up to 5-10 and playing shorthanded at 4AM against the three best guys in the house (granted this is Chester so they still suck but they were good enough to take my money and I of course tilted hard after the first ****ty beat) and promptly dump back my $1500 profits. GOD DAMMIT

so I decide I'm not going to blow any more money on these nits and take my original $500 back up to the pit and try to replicate my original run of +1500 and LDO that fails miserably and I end up nearly maxing out both CCs and $25k in debt. Luckily since then I've had the discipline not to play table games or machines and have learned tilt control for the most part but I still run like **** and have only paid it down to like $20k so I'm casually asking friends if they have $20k I can borrow since that's pretty much what my bonus installments over the next four years amount to (of course no one has agreed yet) so to quote the greatest degen of all "grind on the mind till i die make my tomb a house of cards"

also, inb4 tl;dr

any LOL DIDN'T READ gifs are always welcome, however

Good story. Best of luck man.

Finally a new (goood) Degen story. Hate hittn this thread up to see some muppet talk about losing 162 dollars on ffn video poker. Awesome story degenfish and good luck. Grind on the mind

You win the thread. Love the king niche quote