Degen Stories.... - Page 206 - Poker Beats Brags and Variance

This story isn’t exciting but I ended up heartbroken and cash broke so it felt like a double kick in the balls. Also it only recently happened so it is still raw and I can’t bring myself to laugh at my pathetic self just yet. TLDR.

So I finally finished university and there is 3 weeks left of term. I have 0 money to my name. I should really just leave campus and head home looking for a job as I’m up to my eye balls in personal debt, credit cards, loans, overdrafts, rent arrears ect… Instead I ring up a good friend of mine (who I already owe £1.2k from over a year ago) and say look mate I really need you to spot me some end of uni partying cash so I can try and nail my hot Portuguese roommate (8/10) who I’ve been flirting with all year and so far have come up short. He agrees to lend me some more money but says he can only give me £200.

So I get the £200 first night out I get frustrated that the Portuguese girl is not out as she has one last exam coming up. So I spend over an hour at the bar hitting on a petit well put together blonde Russian student (7.5-8/10). So I turn the charm on and instantly she is not impressed. But I work the routine asking her which country she is from and if I can guess it. Giving obvious wrong answers like Nigeria, South Korea and the North Pole. I can tell from the accent she is Russian so to put the cherry on top I say well if you smile for me I will be able to get it right, so she smiles and I play act and go yeah Russian like I’m David ****ing Blaine.

We carry on talking- she insists she has a boyfriend but I tell her that her boyfriend is probably ugly and boring as he is waiting in bed for her and it turns out her room is like 3mins away from my flat. So I’m hoping to bring her back to mine for a pit stop first, she is keen but kind of stubborn that I still haven’t told her my name or asked for hers and I just brush it off with what is a name? After 1.5hrs just standing at the bar talking and drinking her friends drag her away and I’m really pissed off. She was ballsy, I need a strong minded woman to put up with all my **** so I sort of could see me ****ing her and then possibly talking to her again. So I’ve wasted like most the night hitting on this one girl and her stupid bitch friends have cockblocked me massively. Annoyed I then go and find my female friend (who is very good friends with the Portuguese girl I want to get with) and I sort of just kiss her for no reason except I’m drunk and really horny. She responds but then we sort of just look at each other awkwardly and **** knows how my game goes out the window but instead of leaning in a 2nd time I just say- can we use tongues???? Wtf was I thinking as smooth as my hairy out of shape arse. The girl looks at me and says- No! Oh my days this girl isn’t even attractive, like a 5/10 at best, and I’ve just been rejected by her. So I decide to just leave and taxi home.

Wake up with £120 left after the first crap night and I’m the new in running joke for the flat. I was adamant that I was going to use 0 of this money to gamble but I’m pissed off so I walk to the bookies to play some roulette at 11am like a sad deranged **** which I can be.

I get to the bookies and before I know it I have blown the £120 in literally 4-5 spins on the cartoon roulette wheel without winning one chip back in like 10mins max. Mega pissed off I go back to my room and just crash for several more hours.

So I wake up like 5pm time to find a solution. I ring up my cousin who I also owe over £1k to and ask her if she can wire me some money but she is still pissy at me from the last time she sorted me out so she says she’ll only send me £20. I’m thinking £20!!!!! What the hell is that going to accomplish but I decide to bite my tongue and say yeah that would be great I can use that to get some food.

So I put the phone down she wires me the £20 and I walk straight back to the bookies. I decide to just **** or bust it- stack a ****e load on a few numbers and just pray for some run good as I need to go out tonight as the Portuguese girl finished today, and she’ll be really ****ing drunk tonight and that is my best opportunity. I load the £20 in the roulette machine and I keep hitting decent numbers easy ****ing game I have £200 in literally 3 spins of hitting my neighbour bet 3 times in a row. Do I stop? Of course not and I go on a down swing spinning £40 a pop getting nothing back and before I know it I have only £40 left in the cashier. I’m really pissed at myself so I decide to just collect it, but I quickly slap the spin button and I can’t watch the stupid ****ing cartoon graphic as I just know it is going to **** me hard and I had done the dumbest bet where I had covered very few numbers. So I don’t look and after like 15sec I turn round and I can’t believe the ****ing little rigged white ball has landed in 3 RED which was my best number with like £9.50 on it KERCHING THANK **** WOOO over £330. So time to go on a rampage and spin this up to over 1k. 4-5 spins later I’m still ****ing invincible and up to like £650 but again I never stop and after a few too many losing spins I begrudgingly collect £350 as I’m a greedy stupid ****er when I gamble.

So I’m buzzing- got enough cash to splash tonight and I just know my luck is changing I’m going to be banging this Portuguese chick tonight and life is going to be awesome.
I buy a litre of vodka, drink most of it during a pre-session, don’t particularly remember much of the night except that in the club I was challenging everyone to dance offs. I’m a pretty good wild ****ing dancer and I love dancing. A really big built black guy who was ripped to shreds and could lightning dance refused my challenge which was a shame, I went in for a hug instead and I had never got so wet from someone else’s sweat before damn the guy was soaked. Also I kind of remember jumping into the DJ booth kissing the DJ on the lips and then having a standoff with the bouncers who were trying to get me to get out of the booth. Luckily I managed to get the DJ to say I was a good friend of his and the bouncers didn’t kick me out. So I go back try and hit on my Portuguese roommate and she turns me down saying she isn’t looking to get with any one tonight.

Angry at rejection I ignore her the rest of the night and end up going back to a loose English blonde’s place and ****ing her a few times. The blonde was decent, good body the face left a bit to be desired but she was a great **** so that upped her from like a 6.5 to an 8.5 in my books. So I left Zara or Sara’s or Sarah’s whatever her ****ing name was at like 4am (got her number for a possible repeat performance when hammered in the future) taxi back to my flat and crash.

Wake up the next day sort of not feeling too good. I’m hanging from the night before, I should be more happy that I got to end my 2 month barren run of no action but I’m still annoyed that the Portuguese girl rejected me. I think I had sort of fallen for her over the last few months so I wasn’t really enjoying the fact I still had like £260 and my dick had got wet.

So I decide to go back to the bookies. Lose the whole £260 again ultra ****ing quickly. Maybe within 15mins tops. Same routine pissed off so back to bed sleep this **** off and work out how to get out of the mess of no money again.

I sleep for like 18hrs straight miss the rest of the day and night. Wake up like 8am the next day. Decide to ring me younger brother up next. I owe him roughly £400 but it’s not official, I think he’s probably wrote it off for the next 2-3 years. He’s pretty strapped for cash but decides to wire me only £40 so I can have one last budget night out and try and crack this Portuguese nut.

So I’m tidying up the filth that has accumulated in my room over the last few days- beer bottles, fast food containers strewn all over the place. Then I see my only pair of decent shoes have died, they are literally ****ed from the night before. This will not do, I dress smart when I’m on the town and now I have no adequate footwear….. BALLS & I only have £40. Even a cheap **** pair of black shoes is going to set me back £20. So I go on my gut instinct- bookies time to win a pair of shoes.

I’m walking to the bookies toying how much to spin and I know I should just **** or bust the first spin to try and make £60 odd to get some shoes. As I’m walking I find £15 on the floor (a £5 and a £10 note) sweet I rarely find money. Now I’m feeling superstitious this is going to be a great ****ing day I just feel it- I just found like 30% of my net worth on the floor everything is looking up. I pussy the roulette machine and just stick a £5 in as I really don’t want to lose all this money as I’m running out of people to tap up and if I don’t get to hit on my Portuguese roommate tonight that will suck massively. I run the £5 into £50 in god mode. I decide to just leave go get some vodka, cheap black shoes and freshen up for the night out. Sure I’m a little wound up that I only put £5 in as I should have like an extra couple ton in my back pocket but I was on a mission to nail the Portuguese girl.

I buy a litre of vodka, after getting the shoes I have like £50 on me which is literally a shoe string budget and doesn’t leave me much flexibility but I plan to just get really drunk, dance a bit and have my roommate ride me so don’t need much cash. We pre drink for a couple of hours in the flat we’re all wasted but as usual I’ve drunk the most and I am probably the most ****ed. Within 20mins of getting in the club I try hitting on my roommate again (can’t remember **** what I said) and she is having none of it so we argue I have her in tears and I decide to just leave the club early as I’m really ****ing pissed off fuming that I couldn’t have her.

So I’m walking around town it is like 1am still got like £40 on me. I end up In some ****ty late night slot machine arcade playing a ******ed version of rigged roulette with tiny capped prizes but I’m not really paying attention as I feel really drunk/heartbroken/angry and I can’t listen to my own thoughts as some middle aged drunk loser is having a massive argument with the arcade lady because he has taken too many packets of free crisps. I’m just sitting in this ****e arcade thinking oh my ****ing god what the hell is going on I should not be in here right now, surrounded by ****ing sad muppets, I should be ****ing my future wife.

So I lose all my money and have to walk back home which takes me nearly 2 hours. It’s now nearly 4am one of my other roommates is up. He tells me I could have hooked up with a friend of a friend who is a 7/10 fit tall ginger ballerina as she really liked me when we were pre-session drinking but I screwed it up by chasing the Portuguese girl in the club. So I’m sort of gutted at that, thinking of all the mindblowing things she can do with her long legs, but it doesn’t faze me too much as I still cannot stop thinking about the Portuguese girl (I have never mentioned her name here as I’m so ****ing angry at her right now I’m trying to erase her from my mind so she will just be remembered as lying manipulative mind gaming Portuguese bitch). I ask what the others are up to. My roommate says CAM hooked up with …. the ****ing bitch that kept rejecting me the last few days they’re probably in bed ****ing right now. I’m ****ing speechless she wanted CAM that boring whiny bastard ….. and I obviously gift wrapped her to any guy the way I left her in the club…FML!!!!!!

Now I just need to go to sleep, wake up and find a way to get some money to go over to see the blonde bird but knowing my luck she won't be keen. FFS.

.
you might want to head over to student life and go to the ask a girl out thread. u need some serious help.

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06-18-2013 , 01:08 AM

#5128

CanadaLand

banned

Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 307

Quote:

Originally Posted by kutty

Jeez, get over yourself countfish

his story is degen though...

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06-18-2013 , 08:30 AM

#5129

Salvatore

banned

Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 474

Pics of Portuguese girl and lesser girls would be appreciated. Hit me up with that ass. Sucks to be you B.t.w.

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06-18-2013 , 08:34 AM

#5130

run_better

centurion

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 167

Part 4 Sweat, let's goooooooooooooooo

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06-18-2013 , 11:50 AM

#5131

jnukem

centurion

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 185

Quote:

Originally Posted by run_better

Part 4 Sweat, let's goooooooooooooooo

+10000000000000000000000000000

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06-18-2013 , 12:18 PM

#5132

YOLOSWAG420

enthusiast

Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 84

Quote:

Originally Posted by Furples

Let's review the facts:

[x] Your name is YOLOSWAG420 and you have less than 20 posts
[x] You somehow played at a casino underage
[x] You don't describe moving up in stakes, just winning and then all of a sudden you buy a car?
[x] You found a way to borrow money as an underage gambler

Worst troll attempt ever. GTFO kid

hey asshat you have 8 posts and just joined don't be hating my username is an inside joke

i already said I'm ashamed of my degen life i just gave an imdb summary i have 100s of stories that could be top 10 post material of this thread

i played all kinds of stakes from 50 cents to a dollar - 50$-100$
its not hard to play at casinos underage its risky I'm not getting into details as i don't want to incriminate myself i played games at casinos to underground cash games hence the reference to rounders i went through large downswings and upswings i went from playing hold em to all sorts of table games to recover such as black jack and baccarat

point is i learned my lesson and went back to school and got a real job
the min wage job taught me a lot about life an how i can't keep doing this **** anymore and the grinding life made me sick
poker involves too much variance a 9-5 doesn't

i just wanted to inspire degens to get their life straight as i learned the hard way

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06-18-2013 , 02:13 PM

#5133

DrunkTilt

grinder

Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 611

Quote:

Originally Posted by YOLOSWAG420

i already said I'm ashamed of my degen life i just gave an imdb summary
i have 100s of stories that could be top 10 post material of this thread
.
.
.
point is i learned my lesson and went back to school and got a real job
the min wage job taught me a lot about life an how i can't keep doing this **** anymore and the grinding life made me sick
poker involves too much variance a 9-5 doesn't

i just wanted to inspire degens to get their life straight as i learned the hard way

No chance in hell but you can try and everyone will laugh at you again

also go back to school again, it didn't stick last time

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06-18-2013 , 05:08 PM

#5134

element90210

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 324

Care to elaborate on how you hit a jackpot when underage?

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06-18-2013 , 07:38 PM

#5135

peking

old hand

Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,211

In 2004 I bet 2k € on Donezk(Donetsk) to win at Barcelona at 15:1 or something. Was a lot of money for me back then (and still is...) but all I had in mind was the possibility to win 30k.
Donezk lost 3 to 0 with zero shots on goal....

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06-19-2013 , 07:23 AM

#5136

Zakari

enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 70

Quote:

Originally Posted by peking

well you were just wrong of a few month, if i remember correctly they won 2-0 at home in december

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06-19-2013 , 07:40 AM

#5137

ddboy

journeyman

Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 266

Your not a degan until your circling the casino parking lot trying to get rear ended so you can extort someone.

Last edited by ddboy; 06-19-2013 at 08:09 AM.

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06-21-2013 , 12:29 PM

#5138

thabighurt35

**** you Monday

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 11,588

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddboy

Your not a degan until your circling the casino parking lot trying to get rear ended so you can extort someone.

Great degenning but need the buld up.

MOST TILTING THING EVER IS CHECKING EVERY DAY AND NOT SEEING PART 4!!

C'MON SWEAT

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06-21-2013 , 02:47 PM

#5139

PJC0420

journeyman

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 348

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddboy

Your not a degan until your circling the casino parking lot trying to get rear ended so you can extort someone.

LoL I've seen suspect looking degen types at Parx circling the lot slow and erractic....always made me think.

People do it constantly on Bustleton Ave. up here n NE Philly..you get rear ended in ANY situation, its always the other drivers fault and w/ the right attorney, some sslight back pain, a few chiropractic visits to the lawyers guys, you're looking at 30k easy.

Now that i have a kid on the way and I have less than a month of living expenses saved, I must admit the thought has crossed my degen mind

yea we've all driven home from AC with no toll money on gas fumes after 5 day benders, Where the degen's degen's at?

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06-21-2013 , 04:01 PM

#5140

Zakari

enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 70

GIME PART 4 FAST AND QUICKJ AND FAST

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06-21-2013 , 04:02 PM

#5141

shiva928

centurion

Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 168

Where is part 4?!

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06-22-2013 , 10:27 AM

#5142

TheGreenMagi

adept

Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 1,052

Quote:

Originally Posted by shiva928

Where is part 4?!

maybe he's on another bender, degening it up. so fingers crossed that we get part 4, plus a brand new degen story???

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06-22-2013 , 02:10 PM

#5143

shiva928

centurion

Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 168

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGreenMagi

maybe he's on another bender, degening it up. so fingers crossed that we get part 4, plus a brand new degen story???

Could be the case, haha

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06-22-2013 , 02:50 PM

#5144

ludacris

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 12,277

probably arrested imo.

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06-23-2013 , 02:10 AM

#5145

DrawNone

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,023

i have a strong feeling the fight in the brothel turned into a homicide investigation. hes probably laying low thinking "....why did i confess on the internet again?"

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06-23-2013 , 08:20 AM

#5146

YOLOSWAG420

enthusiast

Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 84

Quote:

Originally Posted by element90210

Care to elaborate on how you hit a jackpot when underage?

thats easy pocket pair against pocket pair quads over quads

i wont get into more details as im trying to remain anonymous

my whole life revolves around degening and illegal activity

went around in underground cash games some with mob ties others with some celebs...

lol @ the haters though thinking im lying you old farts can doubt me all you want
point is i made more in the few years of grinding than most of you guys make in a lifetime of poker

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06-23-2013 , 08:22 AM

#5147

Jeedz

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 3,526

You should write a book man, some interesting stuff.

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06-23-2013 , 08:27 AM

#5148

DrakeWalls

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 2,563

Quote:

Originally Posted by YOLOSWAG420

thats easy pocket pair against pocket pair quads over quads

#SWAG

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06-23-2013 , 11:12 AM

#5149

WAtR

veteran

Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 2,386

Quote:

Originally Posted by YOLOSWAG420

point is i made more in the few years of grinding than most of you guys make in a lifetime of poker

But so do people who have never even played poker.

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06-23-2013 , 01:36 PM

#5150

JEP714

grinder

Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 588

[QUOTE=YOLOSWAG420;39059499
point is i made more in the few years of grinding than most of you guys make in a lifetime of poker[/QUOTE]

Um, if you re-read your story you will find that you already told us you weren't able to win, got into credit card debt, borrowed money to chase losses, and then had to get a minimum wage job.

Then you say you won back some money and then blew it all again and are now a "baller on a budget".

You are welcome to play my 1/3 home game whenever you want.

But remember: #yoloswag

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