I don't think I can beat Epic, but I'll try to keep this thread awesome.

I had posted on this subject prior to the 2+2 site outage a few months ago on another account. There are updates, but I'll start from the beginning.

I live in the Midwest, USA. My friend, Mike, is from Georgia, and didn't want his family growing up in downtown Atlanta(one of the few smart decisions I have witnessed him make). When I say friend I don't mean "take a bullet for the guy", but more so "gamble, party, and drugs friend" or acquaintance. He owes me $200(since 2011), so I don't feel bad writing that last sentence.

Little bit about Michael - Alcoholic, gambler, part-time meth addict (money problems limited madness), and father of 4 kids and a husband.

Mike befriended one of my best friends at a construction job. My buddy brought him to the place we rented, and we discovered Mike and I both like to play poker. For probably a year + Mike has a job and gambles away maybe $100-$200 a week. After a Winter of unemployment Mike was expecting to get called back by the construction crew, but the owner left town and everyone working for them was out of a job. Here is where the excitement starts.

This takes us to March/April of 2011. Mike has no money, but he has a 4k tax refund check coming in. Mike decides he wants to play online poker. I had run up about a 1k br on a merge site(after black Friday obv), and I sent him $50. Then another $50 and another $50. He was paying me back, so I really didn't think too much of it. I get roughly $1.6k in money from Mike of the 1.8k he owes me in about 3-4 months of doing these transactions. Also during this time(tax refund received) he created bank accounts at local establishments, deposited $1,000, and then put 1k on Bodog and 1k on Intertops or some other book/poker site open to US players. He said down at 5/10 and lost his roll in probably 30 minutes on both sites combined. The next day he went to the bank, closed down his accounts, and withdrew his $1k from both banks before the sites deducted the funds.

These best part of the 2011 episode was the home games. One night of a .25/.50 cash game at my place Mike dropped $700 in about 3 hours at plo. He would pot pre, pot flop, pot turn and river with total air. My internal HUD had him running at ~95/75 pre(folding only when he was in the bathroom or at the cash station ATM.) After the last ATM run, Mike declares he is broke, and his wife informed us he can't play in our game anymore.

2011 story(recap) - 4k tax refund gambled away in under a month, could have been 6k but he stole money from a few sites to save him a couple grand

2012 story - Mike has gone dark. I don't see him show up online, nor does he frequent our home games. He was unable to get work for the whole 2011 calendar year. Then all of a sudden he informs the poker crew in our game that he will be getting money in a few weeks, and we let him play for "payday stakes". He played maybe twice before going dark again, but had a couple hundred dollars in debts to a few players. We finally get in contact with him in Juneish of last year. He informs us that he deposited his entire check online, and lost it betting $100 a hand in BJ. His wife confirmed this, both verbally, and also by moving her and the kids back to Georgia.

Sorry about the grammar and spelling.

Is it just me or writing a degen story about someone else like nomomoney did is kind a douche move?

He's relating a story of one of his home game regs who gambled himself into oblivion and lost his wife and kids on top of being busto, counts for somethin

Gambling..Mikey likes it..

I think it's inspiring.

I actually Laughed out Loud at this part.

Epic story

Had 10$ on Bovada after a cashout from a poker points promo.

10$ on BJ = Win

20$ BJ = 45$ blackjack WIN

45$ BJ = Again won... 90$ in my account

Sat 1-2$ with 90 figuring I am freerolling and w/e.

Ran 90$ into 180...

Sat 2-4 and quickly got to about 400 or so.

Sat 3-6 and rolled up about 800$... then decided to play 5-10

Ran my 800 up to 1900$ all within a few hours.

I was about to sleep but decided to play Black Jack... Worst idea EVER

5$ Bet... Lose
15$ Bet... Lose
40$ Bet... Lose

Now I have to get back my money obv.

120$... Lose
200$... Lose
300$....Lose
500$.... Lose

Mega Monkey tilt ensues and I sit with my remaining 800 or so @ 5-10

Immediately call everyone a "Phaggot" in the chatbox right away and miraculously get dealt QQ right away.

Guy makes it 35... 1 flats, I make it 120$ guy reraises I Jam.
Turns over AQ obv spikes an Ace and I am cursing and pissed off.


Cliffs-
10$ free roll
Made 1900$
Lost 5$ on Blackjack
Chased 5$ and cost me 1000$
Shoved Queens and lost to AQ for 1600$ Pot

god i thought i was a degenerate before reading this thread, but it makes me look like an angel lol

Cliffs:

[ ] Degen

I read this thread a while back and while re-reading it a story popped into my mind about something I witnessed a few years back. In comparison to some of the other stories it's peanuts, but it was funny watching it happen.

I was playing 1/2 at the Tampa Bay Downs. This was when the $100 buy-in cap was in effect in Florida. There was a drunk Asian guy seated to my right. It was clear when I first sat down that the guy was drunk and he was keeping the drinking going downing beer after beer. At first he was playing average 1/2 live poker. Playing too many hands, calling instead of raising, etc. I wind up in a hand with him where I have AA and get it in on a 556 flop. He turns over 56 and jumps up yelling "FULL HOUSE!!, FULL HOUSE!!" in kinda broken English. Whatever, I reload for $100. Around this time the floor informs him they are cutting him off drinking. For some reason he gets upset with me and thinks I asked the floor to cut him off. I obviously don't care the drunker the better. We have a brief exchange and continue playing. He then starts shoving PF every hand. I think I counted 26-28 times in a row he'd shove PF no matter what the action. It was like watching a roller coaster. He'd be up $500, felted, reload, up $400, felted, rinse, repeat. I was just biding my time waiting for a premium hand, but other's that were there to just have fun were getting pissed at the guy. Two people actually left the game and cursed him on the way out. After a while the floor tells him he has to stop or else they'll ask him to leave. He was taking down a lot of pots PF so the house nor the dealers were making any money. So he stops... for about 4 hands. At this point he's already given away a bunch of buy ins to the whole table me included. UTG old rock raises with about $600 behind (mostly drunk guys money), drunk guys shoves with about $300, I wake up with Aces and put my $250 or so into the pot and the old guy calls. Old rock has 1010, drunk guy k5. Flop is 556 AGAIN. He again starts jumping and screaming right next to me. I'm of course sick to my stomach until the ace of spades hits the turn. Other guys not in the hand are clapping and yelling at me "Way to get him" and whatnot. I have never seen anything like that since.

At this point there is at least 3k-4k on the table, mostly from this guy. The dealers were saying it was playing bigger then the 2/5 game lol. Drunk guy reloads a few more times and tries to hit the ATM, but is declined. At this point he starts asking guys at the table for a ride home because he didn't own a car and rode his bicycle from a town that is at least an hour in A CAR away. No one offers him a ride and he slinks away to ride his bike home.

Sorry if it was a boring read, but it just always sticks out in my mind and reminds me to never get so degen as to wind up like that guy.

Mister 'i got issues'. send me a pm so we can play HU no limit or plo

Now this is more like it. Good answer.

So because I call you out on adding a ******ed post to this thread, I now suddenly have to play PLO against you?
They should ban people like you for ******ism...

Sure big boy. Put ur roll on the line and lets post the results here in this thread.

hu for bread rolls degen story with two top online trolls

That's the whole ****ing problem with this thread. You're meant to post degenerate gambling story's in it, but people like you betray the purpose of it and use it for their own benefit.
What's the whole ****ing point of posting a recent hand you played, calling me out to play against you and now proposing to post results of that match in this very place, while it's a 'Degen Stories' thread?!
The mental disfunctions are strong in this one...
I'm not even a competent PLO player anyway, so I wouldn't accept your offer either way.
You're deluding the ****ing thread idiot, now stop responding and acting like a 'tard.

To end this on a thread-related note: I once went to the nearest by casino in my hometown, which was a 70 minute trip using the subway station and tram connection, just to find out that my entrance pass had expired and I needed to make a new photograph and had all my ID stuff filled in. I had no identification on me, thus couldn't enter and decided to go home...

I know it ain't much of a degen story, but it's as good as I can add to this thread.

Is this degen enough? 50K-ish in 3 day roulette @ Holland Casino?

No

if the story includes blow, hookers and underground bareknuckle boxing then yes

Otherwise try again

most recent degen story. So i had my back up against the wall as I had almost wiped out my entire bankroll from the last post. i had 600$ in cash and 500$ due for rent the next week and what do I do? I enter the local casino's 300$ buyin 25k gaurantee and manage to chop it 8 handed as the chip leader for 4999$! (You decide if I made a good chop... First was 6900, second was 5200, and I didn't want to fill out any tax forms so I took the maximum without dealing with the headache and the variance associated with the final table). I decide to take some time away from the tables since I have gotten myself out of a hole I'd dug myself in so I pay rent 500$, give some money to my mom that I had owed her from a college loan 1300$, bought a dog for my girlfriend 350$, paid back the 200$ cash advance that I had taken out from the last degen story and managed to stay away from the tables for 1 week exactly. Sunday night at 2am I get the urge to play poker (really erratic behavior i know) so I drive 1.5 hours to the nearest casino. I walk in and walk up to a craps table and decide this is where Ill start my night instead of going straight to poker. I lose 200 here and proceed to the bj tables without hesitation despite the literally tens of times ive made this same mistake. Ill spare the gruesome details about the ups and downs but I was up to 1500 at one point and ended up losing the entire 1100 I had put on the table (600 at first then another 500). Not feeling enough pain yet I decided to do another 2000$ cash advance to try and get it all back. I played 200$ a hand bj till it was all gone. So now I'm back at square one with a 2000$ cash advance debt, but the rent is paid and my mom got paid back and I now have a dog.

Cliffs Notes: Wishing I would have resisted the urge to gamble at 2am on a Sunday.

I have played full time for about 4 years now, lived in vegas for about 2.5 and the amount of degen stories I have are countless. In fact, the only reason I'm posting this message is because I've lost over $20,000 in Video poker over the last 3 months and need to participate in these forums if I want to be able to post in the market place. So here's one of my favorites.

When We first got to vegas(my girlfriend my best friend and I) were not actually planing on living in vegas, we were on our way to west Hollywood from Maine but stopped in vegas to stay at the Rio for a week. I had never been to vegas before and thought rio was where all the action was at, from TV. I had 14k to my name, and the three of us were piled into a 2 door Pontiac each with a single duffle bag. Needless to say we were ill prepared. The other thing I was not prepared for were the craps tables. I'm a gambling addict. And for those of you who aren't really gambling addicts it can't really be explained, but if I get "stuck" Im often willing to lose every single dollar available to me at that moment trying to get unstuck... This excludes poker, because although poker is a form of gambling it's how I make money, if I get stuck a few k in poker whatever, but good god help me if I lose $200 at BJ after I've had a few beers. If I have $2000 on me it might as well be Caesars... So anyway

It's February 14th, valentines day. My girl and I are supposed to go out on the town and have a nice dinner, have a few drinks and enjoy each others company. We get all dressed up, walk from rio down to Caesars palace and poke our heads in to see what it's all about. I spot an empty $25 min craps table. I LOVE empty craps tables " hey babe lets throw some dice for 1/2 an hour or so" I won't Go into the ups and downs, but Caesars is where the night ends. I had $7700 in my pocket. That was all lost. ATM trip was even made to take out $300 after 7700 was gone. Lol like that was going to help. Couldn't even afford to by my girl food after the 5 hour session or so... We were also very waisted cuz I like to drink when I gamble just to make myself even more of a stone ******. Almost lost my girl after that night. (Prolly should have) but basically due to lack of money, after that night the 3 of us were forced to stay at the "extended stay" which is a hooker hotel behind the rio for 3 MONTHS! While I built up some cash, they got jobs and eventually decided to move into an apartment and live in vegas. Haha blessing in disguise I guess. Anyway if you like it I have plenty more...

^ moar. Moar details.

Wow, this thread is looking up. Pleeze moar.

INCOMING WALL OF TEXT

This story is what my friends and I always refer to as our Hangover trip. It’s going to be a long wall of text. I've always wanted to write this out as it helps me remember a pretty shady memory. so will break it up and continue if anyone’s interested. It’s a story spanning 4 days back in 2009. Like I said it’s going to be long and TLDR so either read it or EAD, I don’t really care either way. Maybe do both, new experiences are good for the soul.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Part 1: Thursday - Martingale, Prostitutes and Capsicum Spray

I was student at the time and met a few of friends for a beer early on a Thursday afternoon. We got a round in and started chatting about the Australian F1 Grand Prix that was on this weekend. Some of the guys had never been and we started talking about how sick it would be to go as a group. As tends to happen with these things, about 2 hours later we are loading my car up and getting ready to go. A couple of guys had decided not to come due to being little girls, so we had four people to get over. The Australian grand Prix is in Melbourne and we’re something like 800+ km (500 miles maybe) away. I think it was about 4:00 when we finally hit the road.
On the way over the guys in the back were drinking and singing and carrying on like a pack of ****s. I was growing more and more agitated at the time and was calming myself down by fantasising about performing various violent acts on them. We got in to Melbourne at maybe 11:30pm

We had no plans, no reservations and nowhere to leave the ****ing car. The F1 GP was on so almost all the hotels were booked out. We ended up driving around for something like 2 hours trying to find a hotel, backpackers etc. eventually we found a hotel in the CBD that would take us and had parking as long as we booked for the entire period of the GP. So we had to pay upfront for 4 nights including the one that was already half over.
By this time its 1am and the other guys were steaming drunk and I was steaming with fury. I was still sober and I was tired from driving for 7hrs+. Some of the guys wanted to go to bed. I explained that I was going out to drink myself into a stupor.

Only one friend would come out with me at the time. For the sake of anonymity I’ll refer to him as Barge. He is a loose cannon. When we’re together crazy things tend to happen. We head out and have no idea where we should be headed at this time of night and decide the easy option is to head to the Crown Casino complex and maybe try and get in a game.

With all the Eurotrash in town for the F1 the place is crazy busy. There’s a waitlist for all poker tables and at this stage I just want to drink. We start drinking and playing a little Blackjack after a while we’re up about $200 bucks between us. Barge tells me wants to Martingale roulette with it. I start explaining to him it’s a suckers system and he cuts me off. He knows what it is and doesn’t give a ****. He wants us to put in the $200 and try to martingale it up to $500. At this point his plan is to hit an infamous Melbourne establishment. $250 each would buy us an hour with one of Melbourne’s finest. The girls here are supposedly goddesses. I have heard the stories and my interest is perked. His argument is we lose the Martingale and go home with the same money we came out with minus expenses. Or we freeroll our way into a fantasy. I agree. We martingale colours on roulette for a while and end up running it up pretty easily in the end. We head out the front ready to leave.

By the time we manage to find a cab and get out there I’m starting to feel pretty wasted. It's mainly the fatigue from the car trip though. Barge is not looking good. His speech is now slurred and he’s been drinking for 12-14 hours and is losing the battle.

After a nervous conversation out the front we almost bail on the idea but I decide **** it and head in through the front door. DISCRETE REAR ENTRANCE BE DAMNED!!! We’re greeted by an old hag near the door. It’s my first time in one of these establishments and I’m horrified thinking she is one of the girls. She has a face like old leather and I start feeling sick. She has a quick chat and it becomes clear she’s the madame or whatever the **** they’re called. She takes us through to an area with a bar and pool table. There are a few girls around talking to one English guy who’s playing pool with them. The girls are pretty good I guess but not really the quality I was expecting.

We chat with a few of them and I see one I have my eye on. She’s Russian or Bulgarian or something, I can’t really remember. Tall brunette, slim and curvy with a sexy accent. I think I’m good to go. She invites me to play pool with them and I oblige. During the game the Eastern Europen chick is flirting and touching my ass, hair etc. and staring into my eyes a lot. A whole bunch of unnecessary flirting in my opinion. This is a brothel and I'm obviously here to **** not pickup. Maybe it's supposed to be part of it, make you feel like you're picking upa chick in a club or something.

I have no idea how I’m supposed to initiate proceedings and hoping that she will. I can barely see the pool balls anyway. Eventually I decide for whatever reason that this whore is just ****ing with me and I start hating her for being a tease. I start talking to an Aussie girl who’s hanging around the table. She’s petite, blonde and kind of has the surfer girl thing happening which I’m also into. Apparantly the name was Katie.

After a few minutes of smalltalk I’m wondering what the **** I have to do to get things moving here. I’ve seen movies and **** where you’re supposed to order a bottle of champagne or something ridiculous. I eventually ask her, is there somewhere quiet we can go for a chat. She smiles, loops her arm in mine and starts leading me towards the back of the establishment. She sticks her tongue out at the Russian chick on the way out who makes a sad face at me.

While I’m distracted I suddenly find the English guy in my face and he has bunched up the front of my shirt in his hands. He says “what the **** mate, you gotta be kidding me?” and brings his face about 2 inches from mine. This guys about 40. He’s a lot bigger than me in both height and size. I know instantly that he would make mincemeat of me if this kicks off. I still have no idea what his problem is. I ask him and he tells me that this girl is his. He’s come in for a couple drinks and to play some pool but was intending to go with Katie. I really don’t give a **** and don’t feel like having my jaw broken by this meathead so I apologise and tell him I didn’t realise, no hard feeling etc. He backs off a bit and then starts banging on about how he’s from Manchester and pulling up his sleeve to show me tattoos of some rubbish that’s supposedly impressive or means something or other.. I had no idea what the **** he was on about and didn’t really care. At this stage I just wanted out of this situation.

Now the Russian girl has come back over and takes me by the hand and is trying to lead me back to the pool table. She’s obviously trying to diffuse the situation. I can hear the old leather face telling him to behave. Then I’m grabbed by the shirt again and spun around by the this bloke who’s yelling “look at me when I’m ****ing talking to you!”
As soona s I get spun around an enormous blur shoots across the room slamming into the man and smashing him against the wall.

It was Barge. Barge is called Barge because he’s big. A few years previous Barge had represented Australia at a junior level in Rugby Union. He’s 6’4 and built like a tank. He’d probably be playing professionally today if it wasn’t for multiple knee injuries in his teens.

The two of them are scrabbling around on the floor. Barge is pretty drunk so the 40yo douche manages to get to his feet first and starts throwing kicks at Barge’s guts. I came at him from behind and tried to grab him in a headlock and pull him backwards. He just leans forwards and my feet leave the ground. I’m now just hanging on his back like a small child. Next thing I hit the ground still with a hold of this guy. He isn’t moving and I’m thinking sweet I choked this bitch out and let go. I get to my feet an notice there’s blood on the floor. There’s a huge commotion going on at the pool table and I can hear women shrieking. I look across and barge is wrestling with a Maori/Tongan looking bouncer who has appeared from somewhere. The bouncer breaks free and lands a couple of punches to Barge’s head. Barge doesn’t even flinch and tackles him to the ground. He’s holding him down and I can hear Barge saying over and over. “Chill mate, Chill we’re leaving” but the bouncer continues to struggle. Barge grabs his head and bangs it back against the ground and repeats the same thing. Eventually he stops struggling and seems to just give up.

I look around, most of the girls have disappeared including the madame. I can only assume the cops are on the way. The blonde girl Katie is behind the bar and she motions towards the door with her head. Her eyes are wide open and seem to be saying “you need to run now.” She was probably just scared though and wanted us gone. I'd like to think that she saw us as innocent victims in this madness. I felt really connected to her and was thinking about how maybe in a different life we could have dated and see where it went, and she wouldn't be doing anal for money at 5am in the morning.

Barge grabs me and we run for the door and out into what incredibly is now the morning sunshine. We ran through various streets twisting and turning and trying to put as many turns as possible between us and presumably the incoming police. Eventually we’re too gassed and just walk. There’s blood on both of our clothes and we look like crap. We find a quiet spot to catch our breath and debrief. We start giggling like school children. I start telling him how I choked the English guy out. Barge lets out a huge laugh. He tells me what actually happened. I was flailing around on his back like a superman cape and Barge hit him with a left hook that knocked him unconscious. Barge’s hands are about twice the size of mine so this seems like a credible story.

Suddenly Barge remembers something and reaches into his pocket. He brings out capsicum spray. He tells me “when I was wrestling that bitch security guard on the ground he took this out of his pocket. That’s what he was scrabbling for when I bashed his head on the ground. I took it off him. That's why he stopped fithign me. I was holding him down adn had his spray in one of my hands.” We laugh again and take off walking. A few minutes later Barge asks me if he can spray me with the capsicum spray.
“**** no!”
“I’ll give you $100 bucks?”
“$150, but just a little one”

After much negotiating about how this is going down we eventually decide on terms. Neither of us know what the **** this stuff does. We know it’s not lethal but I’m worried about how to get rid of the stinging afterwards. We eventually decide that if we walk up to the Yarra river if it’s too bad I can just dive ino the water. I need to get the blood off my shirt anyway.

On the way Barge buys a couple of litres of water to pour over my face. We find a quiet spot with nobody around. It’s now getting later and the early morning joggers are out and running by the river. We walk down near the water. I unscrew the two water bottles and place them off to one side. I make it clear it’s one quick spray and that he has to look after me. He agrees. We **** about for what seems like an eternity as Barge sets up his phone to record the incident. Eventually he’s good. I stand in a grassed area and Barge approaches me holding the spray. Barge looks as terrified as I feel. He’s hesitating…...

“JUST ****ING DO IT!”

End Part 1