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Degen Stories.... Degen Stories....

04-29-2009 , 11:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Niche
one time i was sitting in my house on my own i had just split up with my gf who was a crack head but she was nice.. the room was dark i was surrounded by bottles of piss half eaten sandwiches i even had a crust behind my ear i was quite sad because i was busto and heartbroken i thought maybe we would make it work and she would be my main squeese anyway she left me for a crack dealer..so at this point im feelin like ten dewey heart aching empty busto feeling and linger tilt from stacking off with a flush draw because some crotch monkey over bets the pot and i run into the swinging blade and throw up 2 clanging bricks and I just punch my ****in monitor almost put my fist through it and then i kicked my coffee table but not like a regular person no no no..i have to hit it as hard as I can with my ****ing shin!!!! wtff was i thinking im not van damme or some **** that hurt so bad i collapsed in agony and started crying i just laid there whimpering in agony sobbing and eventually the pain eased off but i had blood running all the way down my leg..i just laid there on the carpet for 2 hours staring into space i even knocked one out while laying in the recovery position i felt so lazy like a lazy slob and i smelt so rank like chinese food in a dumpster for days..i eventually get up im wearing stripey boxers and half of them is up my ass ive got my ass cheek showing but i dont care i sit at my pc and watch some 200/400 on betfair wishing i was in the game..i kept sitting at a table hoping i would have cash in my account i actually prayed to mary magdagascar..i check my emails and boooom titan poker have put free money in my damn account!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooooooooooooo..it felt like a blessing. Its like 5 dollars..so I go straight to max but in 5c/10c or some BS where u get nit on nits and I run that **** up to 20 in no time, then I but in at 25/50 and I hit a big overset and and I make some decent bluffs I get my stack to 145..at this point im thinking ok just play this mother****ing cool dont be a degen waste of lung capacity but i say *** it i will take a shot at 2/4...

so I pick the easiest table luckily for me they are all easy and first hand I shove with the doyle brunson just for good luck everyone folds secnd hand i get AA..I shove I get 2 callers an Iwin and im oer 400 i say**** this and i goto 5/10 witha short stack what else am i suppose to do..i run this upto 3k pretty easily and step up to 10/20 and in 3 hours I have 13k..then it happened..I GET KING ****ING KING and some guy called han solo (TILTED) raises me to 30 dollars I re raise to 180 He raises to 550 I call planning to shove any flop flop comes AAA ..he says to me in chat I HAVE IT and bets the pot im like wtf ..thats areverse reversal bluff damn *** he must have it **** i cant fold i felt my heart speed up kind of like a panic attack how can i fold this my dad is in my ear saying DONT CALL he has the 4 of a kind im like no dad let me play my own damn hands why cant you go and play poker with otis redding always ****** interfering ..and i start arguing with him cant believe i have gone from 5 dollars to over a 20k pot in just hours..I call and he flips over QQ..I FIST PUMP LIKE IM OHN MACKENROE SHOUTING NOW WHAT NOW WHAT DAD HE DIDNT SAY **** TURN QUEEN RIVER QUEEENNNNNNNNNNN>>OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I MWAS SO ****IN MAD I STARTED SPITTINGup BLOOD FOAMING UP ...PUNCHED MY SELF in teh side of the head AND STARTED SHOUTING AT MY DAD INSIDE MY HEAD IM LIKE **** OFF LEAVE ME ALONE GET OUT OF My HEAD.. OMGG IM BUSTO AGAIN I FEEL LIKE A WORM WHO HAS HAS BIN SHOVELLED WHEN THE GROUND IS COLD OR MABE STUCK HIS HEAD IN A TURD..I FELT LIKE SUCH A ****INg DEGEN I COULD HAVE PLAYED 5/10 with 13k so easily and made decent rake and maybe found me some new pussy easily when i tell em im back to being a pro...first i burnt my hand on the stove on purpose omggg i was so wasted i went out in the backyard stark naked i started climbing the trees and just trying to get back to nature and forget the damn poker..loking back id lost my damn mind that pot had eloctrocuted my noodle..it started to rain and i looked so pathetic i couldnt even get a crack whore to stay with me and I had a big hemmaroid and my white pastey body stood out under the grey sky i must have looked like a sagging bag of milk...

..all i wanted to do was grind for 18 hours a day and fester in my own filth and live the life of a poker pro grind on the mind till i die make my tomb a house of cards.. i wanted to give up so bad.. now i was busto and i couldnt see a break in the clouds or any hope the next day when i woke up i had to masturbate just so i could get out of bed i browsed 2+2 and went back to bed for 3 days..I didnt even get up to go peepee i just pissed the bed because i was busto and nothing else mattered..i kept reminded myself that atleast i nwasnt the fat sloth puppet in that movie seven where he gets locked in a bat cave and is made to eat spaghetti till his guts spill open..but this didnt make me feel any better..
whats urine and the smell of a cheesy ritz cracker ass crack when you lost a 26k pot? i didnt give a **** about pissing on myself by that point..i could of had a milllion dingelberries attatched to my ass i wouldnt have cared...i was so upset the lowest point for so long even lower than when i talked myself out of a guy giving me a BJ for $100 I just couldnt do it..i felt lower than when my mom force fed me flowers..I almost killed myself on day 2 when metallica came on the radio..i dont know how I ever made it out alive..i always swear to this day it was just the hope of being back in action someday..it lifted me out of the bottomless pit and gave me reason to live and breathe..never quit guys..not even when they are dragging your face through the ****..there is always someone worse off than you..like a guy with a glass eye with a fish in it....keep grind on the mind
that was the funniest shyt ive read all day
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 11:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sh!p!tOn3T!m3
i love stories heres mine might sound a bit lame compared to ppl losing 5k a day but i still go to school n 200 is a fair bit for me

so i deposit 200 on bodog i run it upto 900 in like 2 days with a 99.65BB/100 hands according to ptr (no bs)
at this pt in time i felt like i was ballin' right

so i go take shots at the 110$ heads-up which is like the highest level available lose 9 in a row and now im broke because of stupid fukn monkeys who never fold

*** me dead
Sh!p!t!
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 11:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow Warrior
playing same stakes as 7 years ago
this hurts:
5-10hrs/day
6days/wk
9 yrs
+47k
do the math
wow WTF this is the hugest beat ever.

what stakes have you been playing? Does this include rakeback/bonuses?

Last edited by roflcopter33; 04-29-2009 at 11:50 AM. Reason: rakeback???
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 12:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eddie29
Ok I have to share some with you guys. I used to play in the biggest underground spot that was.. very gambol gambol.
I have read every post but nothing compares to the 100's I have from the 5-6 years I spent every tue, thur and sat there.
Heres a good 1. On a Thursday night at 7 we started playing 20-40 lhe and two brothers Max & James would play there when they were flush but never higher than 10-20 and mostly 4-8. Well one night they come in playing every hand and losing terribly.
At 1 am Max announces he's down 4k in this f-ing game and he's not leaving til he's even. He doesn't fold a hand for 2 hrs and I mean raising, reraising, capping with bottom pair or ace hi! He now decides to start accusing the dealer of cheating him and the games rigged bla bla bla. His poor brother agrees because he doesn't play when his brothers involved in a pot. So he basically says i've lost 500 folding every hand for 3 hours and this games gotta be fixed how could I not be able to play 1 hand in 3 hours.

We can't believe when we realize these guys are stuck like 7200 playing 20-40! They leave about 35 minutes later after asking for credit and they get turned down. They come back about 5 am and are completely quiet and buy in for 2k each which is a lot considering theres only 3 of us left and maybe 4400 on the table.

They're winning but not much when suddenly james asks if any1 wants to play 100-200 I say I will but not 3 handed with two brothers and their 3900, james says they have 10k and whips out a wad of money.
I realized there was no way I was gonna play these guys as I hadn't slept in 27 hrs and wasn't playing well. So we agree to play 30-60 I win and quit at 11 am they're still playing when I leave still shocked by how those guys had that kinda roll as I'd never seen em play higher than 10-20.
Fast forward I wake up at 9 pm to phone ringing it's a friend who tells me james and max where arrested for a home invasion where they robbed a local bookie for 15k at 4 am.
They're still in jail im pretty sure but a friend of mine saw James at court and asked him why he did all this. He replied "that 10-20 is some bulls==t!!"

that is ultimate dedication to moving up in stakes at its finest
respekttt
+1

Last edited by Sh!p!tOn3T!m3; 04-29-2009 at 12:26 PM.
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 03:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by roflcopter33
wow WTF this is the hugest beat ever.

what stakes have you been playing? Does this include rakeback/bonuses?
1/2limit 11,22sngs mtts
all rb/bs included
nolovenomoneynofuture
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 04:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ch3ckraise
Responsible degen. Respect.
Turning $10 into a $1000 is just as impressive. People should try degening that.
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 08:26 PM
OMG I dont know how to qoute but that post from KING NICHE on page 3 is ****ing hillarious. Ive read it like 3 times and laughed harder every time. LOL
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 08:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow Warrior
1/2limit 11,22sngs mtts
all rb/bs included
nolovenomoneynofuture
wow that's disgusting
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 08:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Niche
one time i was sitting in my house on my own i had just split up with my gf who was a crack head but she was nice.. the room was dark i was surrounded by bottles of piss half eaten sandwiches i even had a crust behind my ear i was quite sad because i was busto and heartbroken i thought maybe we would make it work and she would be my main squeese anyway she left me for a crack dealer..so at this point im feelin like ten dewey heart aching empty busto feeling and linger tilt from stacking off with a flush draw because some crotch monkey over bets the pot and i run into the swinging blade and throw up 2 clanging bricks and I just punch my ****in monitor almost put my fist through it and then i kicked my coffee table but not like a regular person no no no..i have to hit it as hard as I can with my ****ing shin!!!! wtff was i thinking im not van damme or some **** that hurt so bad i collapsed in agony and started crying i just laid there whimpering in agony sobbing and eventually the pain eased off but i had blood running all the way down my leg..i just laid there on the carpet for 2 hours staring into space i even knocked one out while laying in the recovery position i felt so lazy like a lazy slob and i smelt so rank like chinese food in a dumpster for days..i eventually get up im wearing stripey boxers and half of them is up my ass ive got my ass cheek showing but i dont care i sit at my pc and watch some 200/400 on betfair wishing i was in the game..i kept sitting at a table hoping i would have cash in my account i actually prayed to mary magdagascar..i check my emails and boooom titan poker have put free money in my damn account!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooooooooooooo..it felt like a blessing. Its like 5 dollars..so I go straight to max but in 5c/10c or some BS where u get nit on nits and I run that **** up to 20 in no time, then I but in at 25/50 and I hit a big overset and and I make some decent bluffs I get my stack to 145..at this point im thinking ok just play this mother****ing cool dont be a degen waste of lung capacity but i say *** it i will take a shot at 2/4...

so I pick the easiest table luckily for me they are all easy and first hand I shove with the doyle brunson just for good luck everyone folds secnd hand i get AA..I shove I get 2 callers an Iwin and im oer 400 i say**** this and i goto 5/10 witha short stack what else am i suppose to do..i run this upto 3k pretty easily and step up to 10/20 and in 3 hours I have 13k..then it happened..I GET KING ****ING KING and some guy called han solo (TILTED) raises me to 30 dollars I re raise to 180 He raises to 550 I call planning to shove any flop flop comes AAA ..he says to me in chat I HAVE IT and bets the pot im like wtf ..thats areverse reversal bluff damn *** he must have it **** i cant fold i felt my heart speed up kind of like a panic attack how can i fold this my dad is in my ear saying DONT CALL he has the 4 of a kind im like no dad let me play my own damn hands why cant you go and play poker with otis redding always ****** interfering ..and i start arguing with him cant believe i have gone from 5 dollars to over a 20k pot in just hours..I call and he flips over QQ..I FIST PUMP LIKE IM OHN MACKENROE SHOUTING NOW WHAT NOW WHAT DAD HE DIDNT SAY **** TURN QUEEN RIVER QUEEENNNNNNNNNNN>>OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I MWAS SO ****IN MAD I STARTED SPITTINGup BLOOD FOAMING UP ...PUNCHED MY SELF in teh side of the head AND STARTED SHOUTING AT MY DAD INSIDE MY HEAD IM LIKE **** OFF LEAVE ME ALONE GET OUT OF My HEAD.. OMGG IM BUSTO AGAIN I FEEL LIKE A WORM WHO HAS HAS BIN SHOVELLED WHEN THE GROUND IS COLD OR MABE STUCK HIS HEAD IN A TURD..I FELT LIKE SUCH A ****INg DEGEN I COULD HAVE PLAYED 5/10 with 13k so easily and made decent rake and maybe found me some new pussy easily when i tell em im back to being a pro...first i burnt my hand on the stove on purpose omggg i was so wasted i went out in the backyard stark naked i started climbing the trees and just trying to get back to nature and forget the damn poker..loking back id lost my damn mind that pot had eloctrocuted my noodle..it started to rain and i looked so pathetic i couldnt even get a crack whore to stay with me and I had a big hemmaroid and my white pastey body stood out under the grey sky i must have looked like a sagging bag of milk...

..all i wanted to do was grind for 18 hours a day and fester in my own filth and live the life of a poker pro grind on the mind till i die make my tomb a house of cards.. i wanted to give up so bad.. now i was busto and i couldnt see a break in the clouds or any hope the next day when i woke up i had to masturbate just so i could get out of bed i browsed 2+2 and went back to bed for 3 days..I didnt even get up to go peepee i just pissed the bed because i was busto and nothing else mattered..i kept reminded myself that atleast i nwasnt the fat sloth puppet in that movie seven where he gets locked in a bat cave and is made to eat spaghetti till his guts spill open..but this didnt make me feel any better..
whats urine and the smell of a cheesy ritz cracker ass crack when you lost a 26k pot? i didnt give a **** about pissing on myself by that point..i could of had a milllion dingelberries attatched to my ass i wouldnt have cared...i was so upset the lowest point for so long even lower than when i talked myself out of a guy giving me a BJ for $100 I just couldnt do it..i felt lower than when my mom force fed me flowers..I almost killed myself on day 2 when metallica came on the radio..i dont know how I ever made it out alive..i always swear to this day it was just the hope of being back in action someday..it lifted me out of the bottomless pit and gave me reason to live and breathe..never quit guys..not even when they are dragging your face through the ****..there is always someone worse off than you..like a guy with a glass eye with a fish in it....keep grind on the mind
Now I do....awesome stuff
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 08:44 PM
once when i busted my roll starting out i had no food. so i ate a tin of dog food which i stole from the supermarket
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 08:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOpinionMan
once when i busted my roll starting out i had no food. so i ate a tin of dog food which i stole from the supermarket
standard
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 09:19 PM
i once got 9th in the 50/50 on ftp with my last $55, took that 1k directly to plo1k, tripled up to 3k, went to 25/50 doubled that to 6k, went down to 10/20 and lost 3k, and just cashedout the remaining 3k
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-29-2009 , 11:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOpinionMan
once when i busted my roll starting out i had no food. so i ate a tin of dog food which i stole from the supermarket
lol if you're going to steal something anyway, why dog food?
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-30-2009 , 12:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasonfp
lol if you're going to steal something anyway, why dog food?
If he was smart, I'm pretty sure he would have not busted his roll.
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04-30-2009 , 01:12 AM
Is it me or has the op not come up with even a single degen story..

the guy who started it all is sitting back n laughing at all us degens
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-30-2009 , 03:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasonfp
lol if you're going to steal something anyway, why dog food?
ldo, they dont watch the dog food section on the security cameras
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-30-2009 , 04:34 AM
my degen story... 4,40 is just about all i have left on PS, i enter the daily limit holdem tourney with it.
play great run good take down first place for 360$.
the next day lose it all playing a 115$ buyin horse tournament and a bunch of 20-50$ LHE STTs.
now im back to the micro grind
sick degen but the sickest part is i dont even know anything about horse, and i got 7th in that tourney, and top 6 cashed. hand i went out on i had 6 low in razz. it was like god set up the perfect punishment to teach me not to spend 1/3 my bankroll on a tournament buy in.
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04-30-2009 , 06:27 AM
king niche wins. the funniest story i've read on here, bravo!
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-30-2009 , 03:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carnivore
Turning $10 into a $1000 is just as impressive. People should try degening that.
I turned $3 into $1014 recently over two weeks, then busted out $450 in about 30 minutes and decided to stop playing supernova's in $100 and $200 HU matches. It was fun though. Winning $220 by calling an all in with K high and seeing that you only have a 7% chance to lose feels good too. And that is why it was very degen and I decided to calm down a bit. I actually called the guy on that hand thinking that I had pair outs and a straight draw, and he flipped over Q high, typed "lol" and said "gg". This is when I adopted the "responsible" degen ideal.
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-30-2009 , 03:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOpinionMan
once when i busted my roll starting out i had no food. so i ate a tin of dog food which i stole from the supermarket
LOL. Self-punishment principles?
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-30-2009 , 05:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanizzle
i once got 9th in the 50/50 on ftp with my last $55, took that 1k directly to plo1k, tripled up to 3k, went to 25/50 doubled that to 6k, went down to 10/20 and lost 3k, and just cashedout the remaining 3k

you´re not a true degen if there´s any money left to withdraw.
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-30-2009 , 07:56 PM
Hey, there are all forms of degens imo. Some play for the very last few cents in their accounts as they play degen 95%-100% of the time, while others have degen spurts that last anywhere from 15%-75% of the time of their play.
Degen Stories.... Quote
04-30-2009 , 08:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuitedEights
Hey, there are all forms of degens imo. Some play for the very last few cents in their accounts as they play degen 95%-100% of the time, while others have degen spurts that last anywhere from 15%-75% of the time of their play.
spoken like a tru non-degen. You make too much sense
Degen Stories.... Quote
05-01-2009 , 06:59 AM
aprl 07- girlfriend left me for some rich dude, a girlfriend which I recently quit my good job and moved 200 miles to be with. I just started working the crappiest job ever for 14 an hour, a fraction of what i made the year before. I owed the irs + credit cards approximately 14k with the bulk being to the irs and we know they don't mess around. I didn't even have money to deposit into a poker account, had to wait for payday. Times were so rough I had to, at the age of 27, move back in with the folks. Told myself that for the next year or so I'll work this unbearable job and save as much as I can playing poker hopefully I'll be debt free in two years to start over again. Figuring since I have no rent to pay , and make about 20k after taxes, heck a year maybe if I run well. I finally save up 20 for a deposit, go busto, do that for a few weeks on each payday 20 dollars until finally i catch a run, next thing I know its June and i'm at the final table in the sunday millions just busting out 7th for 23.5k.

Off 20 dollars and a dream, in 2 months i went from a 27 year old single, unwanted loser in debt and living at home with his parents to a proud 27 year old unwanted winner out of debt and living the dream while in his parents guest room. Sweet.
Degen Stories.... Quote
05-01-2009 , 07:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonprofitgambler
aprl 07- girlfriend left me for some rich dude, a girlfriend which I recently quit my good job and moved 200 miles to be with. I just started working the crappiest job ever for 14 an hour, a fraction of what i made the year before. I owed the irs + credit cards approximately 14k with the bulk being to the irs and we know they don't mess around. I didn't even have money to deposit into a poker account, had to wait for payday. Times were so rough I had to, at the age of 27, move back in with the folks. Told myself that for the next year or so I'll work this unbearable job and save as much as I can playing poker hopefully I'll be debt free in two years to start over again. Figuring since I have no rent to pay , and make about 20k after taxes, heck a year maybe if I run well. I finally save up 20 for a deposit, go busto, do that for a few weeks on each payday 20 dollars until finally i catch a run, next thing I know its June and i'm at the final table in the sunday millions just busting out 7th for 23.5k.

Off 20 dollars and a dream, in 2 months i went from a 27 year old single, unwanted loser in debt and living at home with his parents to a proud 27 year old unwanted winner out of debt and living the dream while in his parents guest room. Sweet.
This ain't degen... i wanted to hear that you put on 100 pounds. Your broke and stole your parents CC to pay for your gambling.
You have a new girlfriend, but everytime you speak to her, you have to call a $2/minute number and you only ever see her when she's on tv
And that you have opened accounts on every website and are now a professional freeroll player!
Degen Stories.... Quote

      
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