good read

Wow

LOL

omfg lolololol

.

I once put $3k on the clippers... THE CLIPPERS!!

ON FTP. i turned 1k into 7 million in less than one week.. lost 7 million in 1 day

I was having a going away party because thats what my rich family does for their degen kids that are moving one thousand miles away. I had no money and just assumed I could magically get there. At my going away party each pair of grand parents gave me $100 so i had $200. The next day, which was the day before I was leaving, I got a sudden urge to hit up the casino one last time with a couple friends. We went to dinner and then off to the casino. We get there and decide to play some 2-10. REMEMBER I HAS NO MONEY TO MOVE IF I LOSE. I buy in for 120 of my 193(dinner was 7 bucks) I bust after like an hour, it was a pretty horrific beat and I figured i could get to even pretty quick and leave. Pull out 60 bucks get in w/ the nuts on the turn and lose on the river. Then it hits me... "Oh ****" I think to myself I just lost all of my money to get to Wyoming. I hunted down one of my friends who was playing Blackjack and I say "Okay man this is it, if I lose here I'm gonna drive us off a bridge." I sit with my $13 and get to like 35ish and then headed back to the 2-10 table. I sit down and on the 2nd hand i pick up QQ get it in pre, it was like a 4 way pot and the guy to my left flashes me his hand...AA I signal to the cocktail waitress then watch my fate. Comes down Q2Q and i literally jumped out of my seat then glanced at the jackpot board where i see the most beautiful thing ever "4 Queens $350" ran decent the rest of the night.
tl;dr had money, lost money, 13 dollars into like 450, didnt kill myself

[QUOTE=hazillow;9671554] He ended up sleeping on my couch for like eight days because he couldn't afford gas to get back home because the day he lost his roll I convinced him to go to an Indian casino with me with his last 50 bucks and play 2-10 spread (he lost it in 2 hands).

You're the best friend he could have wished for.................

lol @ going to kill yourself over $260

Wow, its 3 am and im reading this **** in bed with my gf sleeoing next to me, i am dying laughing, miggt b the funniest **** i have ever read in my life, ****ingg awsome

king niche is god

read about 10 pages of this. what's scaring me, is that all it did was make me want to play right now.

i'm probably going to have a story on here soon.

Don't use this forum but do use another popular one hence the new user and recent sign up... I must admit this was the most degenerate few days of my life and I have calmed down since then.

I had just turned 18 (2006) and was working in ASDA (Wallmart) in the UK prior to moving away to university. I ****in hated the job man, poor wage **** boss just not a place anyone should work. I get introduced to poker to guys through work and before i know it I have $50 online at pacific poker I deposited myself...

Anyway i go on what must be the heater of all heaters... Win a $10 reebuy for under $2k... now at the time this is the most money I have ever had. I then proceed to jump into 600nl and win 2k and up and up. Before i know it im at the 25/50 tables with around $4500 bucks on the table and literally I have no clue what im doing... this is in literally in the space of 7-8 hours I manage to run golden depsite playing at a table full of crazy scandis desperate to stack and leave the table with just over $20k!!!

The best is yet to come... after withdrawing all my money offline I am physically shaking and just realised I have won the best part of £10k+ playing da online pokaz... I then get a phone call from pacific ****in poker verifying my account details etc and they let me know my money will be in my account in 36 hours...

I tell no-one etc about the win go to to the bank and withdraw £4k and head to the airport to meet up with my friend who was a baggage handler at the time. He had just went though some rough stuff with his parents splitting up and had done crap in his exams when we were all heading away to Uni/College etc.

I show him the Stack of money and explain to him how i got it: we find out when the next flight to Amsterdam is... he has his passport on him as he works in the airport (security measures) and I have mine. I pay in cash for us to go there and back for 2 days and exchange the rest into Euros.

We arrive with no clothes etc in Amsterdam and book into a plush hotel and just get wasted,drunk for the 2 days we are there he pops his cherry with a hooker and Im suprised I don't catch something.

I phone my parents in Amserdam saying I was staying at friends and will be back in a few days etc etc. To this day its just a secret between me and my mate and definetley one of the best experiences I have ever had in my life!!1

MM: Online poker players are the worst poker players in the history of mankind. I play against really bad players who just give their money away. Guys put in $13,000, $14,000 when they can't beat anything. Only online do you see that. That can never happen in a live game. I crush the no-limit online.

this has been a great read, i guess i will share my degen story, didnt exactly end bad but to be in this position is being a degen with in itself

this is about 6 years ago and i just lost all my monies online, around 1k which is a lot of money for me at that time, well actually still is a lot of money now

so i have 400 bucks to my name and i decide to drive 6 hours to the nearest casino, which will be biloxi mississippi, by the way this is my first time in a casino!!

i sit down at a 2 5 nl cash game with half of my roll (remember first time ever in live cash game), and lose the 200 bucks rather quickly, pretty reluctantly i pull out my last 200 bucks and grind my way back to just over 1000 bucks,

now the hand comes up, im on the button with JJ, utg guy raises to 100 which is a redic raise preflop for this game, i notice that he has two stacks of red chips (red chips are 5 dollar chips) and each stack equals 100 dollars, i figure he has 200 behind

flop comes 934 rainbow, he checks, I bet 200, he goes all in, and i figure he has a set or something but 200 is all i see, so i say call, once i say call he pulls out a stack of cash behind his chips and counts to 3000!!!

i call floor and they say i was suppossed to ask him how much he has left before calling his all in

anyway, he shows 99 for top set, i dont improve and all my monies i worked so hard for gets shipped to this douche,

so i get a cash advane on my credit card which has a limit of 300 or something and advance it for the full 300, sit back at the table and grind again to just over 1000, then a big hand comes up between me and that guy that scammed me in the earlier hand, basically he turns nut str8, i turn nut flush draw, he bets a little to keep me in, river flush and he calls my all in bet of like 800 for a juicy 2500 pot

felt real good sticking it to the same guy that schooled me

Mirror image of my life, i used to be the biggest free roll whore, now im a .10nl whore

well, what can I say... thanks for the inspiration guys!!

So im sitting there its 1am and i just finished reading this whole thing... I had 800$ left on a site and decided, in the spirit of this thread, to try to flip it up HU. 800$ is not all my bankroll but i am def not rolled for 2-4$HU let alone 3-6$HU. I sit down at 3-6$ and play some guy i had seen before but he wasnt a reg.. . dip down to 400$ and desperately want to reload (also just finished reading this whole thread... cant be a +EV read) . Pop another 1K on the site and reload. First match was back-n-forth not much happenening, played some 5-10NL HU as well (ive only played 5-10 1time as a mini-shot that lasted less then 50 hands) which i was able to profti 500$ from pretty quickly letting the aggrotard bet into my hand.

Look at my account... 2K ... alright, good start!

Keep playing the guy 3-6 and decide to open up a new table of 1-2$ (no one at 2-4 other then regs i dont play against). This guy is sitting with 400$ and i love sitting down vs a double stack. I proceed to take 500$ from him in little time (what did he think would happen 3betting me 50% of hands lol). He asks me to move up to 2-4 (which i obv want to do vs this monkey) but i fake that i dont want to saying its too high (while playing 3-6 lol) ... he tries to convince me and i 'cave in' ... then buyin for 165.56 and say ill have to leave our 1-2 table to relaod (so he thinkts this is my whoel roll ehheeheh). buyin for 300$ at 2-4 asking if 'its enough' knowing full well he would tell me to put more to which i woud oblige....

I bought in for 400$ and when he finally left I had 1.9K in front of me. At the same time, I started PWNING the semi-reg at 3-6$. Was in for 1200$ or so and was sitting iwth 2.2k. Nicely done.

Wanting my 2table fix i find some guy at 5-10$nl who i didnt recognize, here we go! I get KJcc and call his raise. Tcc flop so i check raise him he calls. J turn and I check thinking i am trapping this prolly aggro 5-10HU player. He bets I just call wanting him to put more money on the river(and maybe hit my flush obv). J river (board: TccJJ) i hceck to him he bets 360$ of his 500$ remaining stack... i jam he calls with AA. Ship the 1k!

Look at my account... its up to like 4K... 5K... 6K....

At one point I had 3.7k vs the guys 600$ at 3-6$. At that point i was up 6K on the night. THen i got coolered twice and left with only 1.7K ...barely up on him for the night.

All and all , up 4.5K on night. Just because it turned out great doesnt mean its not degen! BOOYAH

Way too many degen stories while recollecting on my life but ill share a few.

1) Got annihilated drunk at a $5 bottomless cup, blacked out like a champion. Proceeded to get arrested by myself for throwing parking cones at parked cars, trying to break into a bank, ****ting on the sidewalk etc... The stupid pigs who arrested me kept trying to interrogate me but it was impossible since i was having the most wicked vomit session on the floor of the police station. Ex g/f bailed me out and took me back to my fraternity house. I was wearing what i presumed to be a jail jumpsuit... gg me it was a biohazard suit full of ****.. But I did redeem myself by making pledges wear it that night.

2) Got insanely unstable blackout drunk, time traveled to the casino, immediately lost $3k in 5 min betting player everyhand on baccarat. Then immediately re uped and won ~$7k... time traveled to the titty bar. Sat in VIP buying bottles of goose, next thing i know i wake up at 8:00AM naked with all of my $7k gone. I think it was stolen by one of those low life whores, but I prob just spent it all on sex, blowjobs, and blow.

Edit: At no point of either of these stories do I remember anything, all of these came from third person reports (cop, police report, biohazard suit, video surveilance, friend, empty wallet/no clothes)

My Degen story from a few years ago (not as good as some of the others but hey)

Lost like 4k on bodog playing blackjack, let it ride, 3 card poker one night being piss ass drunk, So i say *** it and empty out my account for about 5k (this was when bodog would deposit direclty to my checking account within days)

Anyways, a few days later i log into my account to see like 509 bucks in there in my casino balance. "im like WTF i emptied the account, what gives??" so i call up bodog and i guess you get points or the equivalent to rakeback for betting in there casino. I was betting like 500 dollar hands on BJ so i'm like "sweeeeet freeroll".

So i fire up the blackjack table at my work, throw a 500 bet up there and see if i can run it up. Obviously I get dealt AA and the dealer is showing a 5. So i'm like *** what do i do, i obv. call up my degen buddy who says "man you got to split". I obv. have my whole account on the table So i pull out the credit card and put another 500 onto the table. You can imagine what the next card was....... A. So now i'm somewhat tilted but then again I have A A A with the dealer showing a 5, So i do what every degen does and pull out the credit card again to put another 500 down so i can split the 3rd ace. All this while bodog is charging me like 20 bucks each just to put the money on.

So i have 1500.00 on the table with A A A dealer showing a 5, and i obv. get **** on with like a 6, 7, 2, dealer flops over another 5 then a queen. Game over

Cliff notes:

bodog gives me a free 500, so i then play one 500 dollar hand of blackjack where they then deal me 3 aces which causes me to have to deposit another 1040 so i can split all 3 hands. They then obviously just **** on me

*** you bodog!

Look on the bright side at least you were still on the clock while you played that hand.

My kinda thread.

About 14 months ago I finally get my student allowance cut for not going to class/exams/whatever for ages. So poker's my only income. Around this time I'm doing terribly in poker, though, bouncing between a couple grand and busto and end up taking expensive SMS loans. The loans eventually add up to about 5k€. My comp decides to crash down and I go to play to my campus computer facilities, which are open 24/7. I take one or two more SMS loans and finally luckbox a tournament win of 2,7k€ (I've got some of this stuff in my old blog so I don't necessarily remember them by heart. Some of the pics I've posted there show how big an effect the success has on my spirit.). A couple days later I book another MTT success for 4,9k€ and a couple grands in cash games.

So things looking better now. I gradually pay off the debt and get going in cash games. My bankroll hits a peak of 39-40 k€ in a 2-3 months time and one day decide to play some PLO$5k HU. Win and lose the biggest pots of my life to date, end up a few grand. Repeat in a couple of weeks or so, lose big. Play some FLO8 50/100 with little to no experience, lose an additional $7-10k.

Don't feel like checking back the details but during the following month I lose it all and end up taking some SMS loans again. Those and my mastercard credit total up to 11k€. With another "last chance" I deposit a 300€ SMS loan and manage to grind it (with poor BR management) up to something like 30k€ in about one month. Then some rollercoasting yada yada. The BR is about 20k€ when I make probably my biggest mistake ever, play online blackjack (mind you, this wasn't the first time) and lose almost 17k€ playing something like 6 hours straight. Never recover from that, lose more in poker and foolishly end up taking SMS loans again. This time the mastercard credit and SMS loans add up to about 15k€ and been there ever since.

So atm I have a gambling debt of above 15k€ (the loans eventually going to court, don't feel like opening the numerous envelopes I get by mail much) and about 11k€ of student loan (I guess I gambled the majority of that also). After more than two years I took my first job last month. Have been paid about 1300€ in salary thus far and lost about a grand of it in poker. March and April rent still unpaid, luckily the landlady has been very understanding and patient. I did ask my salary for the 1st half of the month to be paid yesterday (normally paid on the 5th of the month) and got an affirmative but so far haven't received the money on my account (I seriously hope it'll be there tomorrow because atm I have 0€ in bank, about 25€ in cash, $60 in FTP and 170€ pending RB in another pokerroom).

My univ studies have gone to ****, haven't really done anything in over 3,5 years. A 'grade A student' would almost be an understatement of my time in upper secondary school (the school I graduated from before starting in univ), so being useless scum sucks now... Wanna apply to another faculty this month but my job is eating up all my energy. I take my hope in not being consumed by any intoxicants and I'm physically pretty ok so perhaps If I get the financial things straight it's not all that bad.

Feelings go from general depression to 'ok' and occasionally mild 'good' (the spring and increasing sunlight help).

But whattahell ship it yay!

We were right about to go to work with a friend. And i was at his house a bit early, and he was in degen mode busto he decides to deposit $60 and tells me to help him win this $60 sng.

He is a super aggro moron who bluffs every possible time. So we play get 2nd in the sng. We go to work telemarketing( I quit cuz i play pokers now)

Well we go to my house Friday night and slept over so we can go to work Saturday morning. We end up runnig the $60 into about 3k then going our seperate ways and chopping our profits. I obv wanted to split up b/c he was playin stuff like 30 60 Fixed limit with 1k.

So i ran my account to about 2k then went to sleep, i was happy. Well he stayed up and ran his 1.5k into about 7k overnight. He is such a fish though. So he cashed out 4k. And over the next day he was playin 50/100 fixed limit with like 5 buyins just cappin and playin with Bill Chen.

Obv he goes busto, and 1 week later the checks from stars come in for him. Within 1 week he lost all the money he won, and owed was -1k in the bank b/c of overcharging.

This kid has never won a dime in poker. Down too much money. Plus he bets sports and owes bookies lol

Proof?????
This post should be in beats & brags I guess.

That's some story Redux. Where's your self-restraint? Sounds like you definitely need some time off from the tables.
But at least you're still, and I quote " physically pretty". Meaby you can squeeze a nickel out of that. Good luck!