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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 05-12-2017, 05:54 PM   #1
dmccoy87
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The day Hank lost his sh*t

Once a year my friend Hank hosts a tournament of about 30-40 friends, half of which play a few times a month at my own home game. The other half are just guys that like to gamble and drink booze and figure a few hundred bucks once a year is no big deal.

Hank works pretty hard to get the whole thing lined up and the tournament is pretty soft for the first hour or so. After the weaker players get knocked out the poker gets a little tougher. Hank has always considered himself to be good player, and he does ok at my cash game, but the wide ranges and loose play in the donkfest portion of the tournament give him fits and it is usually his undoing. This year would be no different.

Ol' Hank has been sitting at my table for the whole tournament. Somewhat unfortunately, out of the 8 players at the table, four of them are some of the better players in the tournament and 3 of the other players are very tight and rarely put chips in the pot. There is one loose-aggressive player at the table named Paulie, and he has been running hot. By this point, the other tables have been building large stacks of chips as the sharks are feasting on the fish while our table has been grinding the 3 tight-passive players and the better players have stayed pretty even. Paulie has been limping and calling all day and hitting huge hands on the flop to build a big stack. One of the few times all day, he raises UTG with Hank to his immediate left. This hand would begin the process of Hank losing his sh*t.

After Paulie raises UTG to 200 (blinds are 25/50) Hank 3bets to 600. I'm on the button and wake up with AA. Knowing Paulie isn't the type to back down, I flat the 3bet believing there is at least a 50% chance Paulie will cold 4bet Hank. Sure enough, Paulie does a min-raise to 1200. Hank is visibly annoyed but calls. I immediately shove and Paulie can't fold fast enough. Hank tanks and folds AJs face-up. I muck and Paulie says "Good thing you folded, I had one of your Jacks." Hanks asks, somewhat incredulously, "What did you have with it?" Paulie shows him a 4. As the next hand is being dealt Hank is shaking his head, saying Paulie never should have been in the hand and his "dumbass min raise" cost him $600. (This ignores how much more he might have lost HU against AA, but ol' Hank is on the road to Tiltville and isn't making much sense at this point.)

The very next hand has me in the cutoff and Hank UTG. Hank raises it up to $200 and I 3bet him to $600 with QTs. He calls and we see a flop. The flop comes A73 Hank checks and I check behind. The turn brings a 6 and Hank looks at me for a few seconds and checks. I tank for a few seconds and check again. The river brings a J and Hank looks at me again like I'm up to something and checks. I act as though I am bewildered and say "You sneaky **** wouldn't check a flush to me twice would you?" I tank briefly and bet $400 into a $1200+ pot. I put him on some sort of high pair, most likely KK. He tanks for a full minute before mucking. I show the Q10 and needle him a little, saying "Awww Hank, it was only $400, you could have called that." Hank quietly says NH and is visibly angry. He snap folds everything for the next several hands to try to cool off.

Spoiler:


Despite Hank's best efforts to un-tilt himself, he can't fold when he wakes up with a real hand UTG. Hank makes it 350. 7x is way higher than normal for him, he is normally a 3x or 4x raiser in tournament play. Hank gets one caller, I fold, and the tight passive SB also calls. Then Paulie calls in the BB to bloat the pot further, and the flop comes four handed.

The flop comes 2-4-5 rainbow. The blinds check to Hank, who bets 900. Most of his stack is in the hand now, and it folds to Paulie, who calls. The turn goes check, check when the board pairs a 2. Then the river hits a 3. It is glaringly obvious that Hank is unhappy with the river. I stifle laughter as I see the rage boiling under Hank's skin.

Paulie puts Hank all-in, and out comes Hank-the-Tank. He takes for what felt like 20 minutes but was probably closer to 5. He's trying to make sense of what Paulie can have. He wonders why Paulie would call so much with a gut shot straight draw and convinces himself that Paulie can't have an Ace. He is not wrong, but his tilt-riddled mind is ignoring the fact that Paulie can call 300 pre with literally ATC. Paulie plays once a year, has a mountain of chips, is running hot, and only had to put in 300 more pre-flop for a pot that had $1200 in it. Because Paulie plays virtually anything that is either suited or connected, and because Paulie is blissfully unaware of the entire concept of board texture, he could be betting a huge number of hands. Hank ignores all this and calls and immediately turns over KK.

Now, I'm no poker savant, but I would have bet anything that Kings were no good. Before Paulie turned his cards I was thinking, "Paulie could have 2-3 for a boat, a ton of Ax for a straight, a ton of 6xs for a straight, 67 for top straight, or 33, 44, 55, 66...... NO WAY can Kings be good here, the only question was what did Paulie have?

Spoiler:


Hank reacts accordingly...

Spoiler:
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Old 05-12-2017, 06:03 PM   #2
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

Someone is going to have to tell me that's worth reading.
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Old 05-12-2017, 06:08 PM   #3
dmccoy87
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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Someone is going to have to tell me that's worth reading.
"It's worth reading." - Someone
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Old 05-12-2017, 06:58 PM   #4
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

"It's not worth reading" BBV Reg
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Old 05-12-2017, 07:07 PM   #5
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

Why would Hank be mad if he won the hand?
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Old 05-12-2017, 07:18 PM   #6
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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Someone is going to have to tell me that's worth reading.
I'm not sticking around to find out.
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Old 05-13-2017, 01:14 AM   #7
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

what the **** did I just read
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Old 05-13-2017, 01:15 AM   #8
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

I checked the spoiler on the off-chance there is a TS.
Spoiler:
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Old 05-13-2017, 01:49 AM   #9
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

Good call Hank.
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Old 05-13-2017, 11:09 AM   #10
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

Well that was a waste of my time
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Old 05-13-2017, 11:26 AM   #11
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

You what. kk is good on the river or did I miss something
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Old 05-13-2017, 11:33 AM   #12
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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Originally Posted by singul@rity View Post
Why would Hank be mad if he won the hand?
I was wondering the same thing.
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Old 05-13-2017, 04:39 PM   #13
singul@rity
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The day Hank lost his sh*t

@dmccoy87 be a man and explain wtf with that incorrect and terrible ending in your story
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Old 05-14-2017, 04:15 AM   #14
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

Do not read this garbage


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Old 05-14-2017, 04:59 AM   #15
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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Old 05-14-2017, 08:08 AM   #16
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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slowclap.gif
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Old 05-14-2017, 08:25 AM   #17
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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thread saved
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Old 05-14-2017, 03:40 PM   #18
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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Amazing
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Old 05-14-2017, 04:31 PM   #19
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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/internet

Last edited by AlwaysFolding; 05-14-2017 at 04:32 PM. Reason: post 3999
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Old 05-14-2017, 06:18 PM   #20
singul@rity
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The day Hank lost his sh*t

heroes just pull through all the ****
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Old 05-15-2017, 09:25 AM   #21
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

Obvious that OP was trying to make up a good story, but forgot to remember (or know) that KK's and 22's are > 55s and 22s.

I want my time back, f*cker.
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Old 05-15-2017, 11:10 AM   #22
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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You're a thread saving hero!
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Old 05-19-2017, 07:08 PM   #23
Baeras
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

I explode too when I win with 2 pair vs a smaller 2 pair. Seriously tilting.
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Old 05-20-2017, 09:15 AM   #24
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Re: The day Hank lost his sh*t

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Obvious that OP was trying to make up a good story, but forgot to remember (or know) that KK's and 22's are > 55s and 33s.
fyp
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Old Yesterday, 12:06 AM   #25
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