BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

lol

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

original chat was good, but bloodninja is a different level

edit: maybe a lvl 20 sorcerer or something

<Bloodninja> Wanna cyber?
<MommyMelissa> Sure, you into vegetables?
<Bloodninja> What like gardening an ****?
<MommyMelissa> Yeah, something like that.
<Bloodninja> Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
<Bloodninja> You bend over to harvest your radishes.
<MommyMelissa> (pause)
<MommyMelissa> is that it?
<Bloodninja> You water your tomato patch.
<Bloodninja> Are you ready for my fresh produce?
<MommyMelissa> I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
<MommyMelissa> (pause)
<Bloodninja> I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
<Bloodninja> I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
<MommyMelissa> Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
<Bloodninja> my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
<Bloodninja> Damn baby your right, this **** is HOT.
<MommyMelissa> ...
<Bloodninja> My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
<MommyMelissa> What the **** is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
<Bloodninja> Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
<MommyMelissa> whatever.

or the whole collection

http://www.bloodninja.org/index.php

..........

ty for bloodninja link

OMG that site is hilarious, an excerpt from another chat log:

<Wellhung> Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
<Sweetheart> I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
<Wellhung> I'm 6'3" and about 280 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

.......

<Sweetheart> I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
<Wellhung> I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
<Sweetheart> What's the matter?
<Wellhung> I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
<Sweetheart> Are you OK?
<Wellhung> I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
<Sweetheart> Can I help?
<Wellhung> I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
<Sweetheart> In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
<Wellhung> I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

lololol

Must we really have a new bloodninja thread every month?

yes! especially since i havent noticed before!

HAHAHAHAAA

LMFAO

lol

lawl, I like how she plays along in this one. others just say 'wtf u freak?' or somethin.

<BloodNinja> Wanna cyber?
<DirtyKate> K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
<DirtyKate> Who are you?
<BloodNinja> I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
<BloodNinja> And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
<DirtyKate> You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
<BloodNinja> Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
<DirtyKate> Haha! OK
<DirtyKate> Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
<BloodNinja> Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
<DirtyKate> I want everything, baby!
<BloodNinja> Is this a delivery?
<DirtyKate> Umm...Yes
<DirtyKate> So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
<BloodNinja> Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
<DirtyKate> **pause**
<DirtyKate> I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
<BloodNinja> You can't hurry good pizza.
<BloodNinja> I'm on my way now though
<DirtyKate> **pause**
<DirtyKate> So you're at my front door now.
<BloodNinja> How did you know?
<BloodNinja> I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
<BloodNinja> Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
<DirtyKate> ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
<BloodNinja> So you're still in the bathroom?
<DirtyKate> Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
<BloodNinja> I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
<DirtyKate> What the ****?
<DirtyKate> You perverted piece of ****
<DirtyKate> ****


this is my favorite one by far

people keep bumping old threads so i figured this is as good as any

lol her ghost itt

ghost is so hot....amirite??

lol solid bump

This thread is epic win... Just read them all and can't stop laughing.

I forgot all about my rail whoring ways. I may move to Montreal soon to rekindle this lost love via Stars. I'm at the Borgata now, and I'm fairly certain sexually harassing everyone live at the 150/300 mix is gonna get me banned.

It's trickier convincing people I'm a dead girl, that's for sure!

ROFLLMMFAOCOPTER!

Wet ghost sounds like a hell of a gal

No more, please no more. I'm suffocating here but I can't stop reading these.