I am feeling so empty right now—my girl won’t give me any cash, (she says she’s broke) she’s a liar ..a fat liar her dad can go **** a barnyard animal. He hates me cus im a poker player and im ”no good for his daughter” im like shes no good for me cant u see how fat she is and how fat she will become? Shut him right up, plus I said if he didn’t treat me nicer I would talk her into leaving his fat ass in this state, then who’s gonna take his sheep to market????? Ahahahahah. OWNED.

Cus my g/f is pregnant she thinks she can order me around??? Im like no bitch, go get your own ******g pickles. What kinda psycho-hose-beast wants a ****ing pickle. Shes like “awww, but ive got a craving, then bursts into tears im like WTF don’t try that **** on me, my father never hugged me. Im like look, gimmie $75 so I can get us back living the high life ON FT, shes like whats FT, im like “SAY IM A STUPID BITCH” shes like “I hate you...i hate you...i ha” then she did this weird grunt fell over sideways on the couch and did this really loud sobs that bellowed out into the house. I was thinking she sounded like a water buffalo or perhaps a hittototamus but I didn’t want to make her more mad until I had got me a bankroll (atleast 25nl im not playing with the crotch monkeys) So Im like just give me 300 for poker and through her tears and red eyes shes like thats how we ended up in this mess we aren’t even gonna be able to afford formula when the baby comes im like but you have big tits and can breast feed till the baby is old enough to eat spaghetti...she started blubbing again, she said I can have 25 but thats all she got, im like WTF cant do **** with 25, shes like thats all I got im like **** you then i’ll make my own money and sell some body organs, so I go google that Shi* (apparently cant sell eyes but check this shi* out...

After reading yesterday's Herald on the call by a Canberra specialist to legalise the sale of kidneys in Australia, Mr Gill, 44, called the paper, seeking to place an advertisement for one of his kidneys for $50,000.

IM like whoaaaa, thats nosebleeds, noseeeeeeebleeds and I start getting excited and my girl asks whats the fuss, im like don’t talk to me while I play poker. So a bad day turned out quite good, hopefully will have 50k soon,and finally have a roll I can be proud of..i went upstairs about 4am and my girl was snoring but I tried my luck she was like EWWWWWWWWWWWWWw U stink just cus I aintt showered in mad long she said I smell “musty” Im like you should smell your pu**y. I went to sleep with grind on the mind

5 stars

don't ever fold KK preflop, unless you're really sure.

hittototamus


awesome

best thread ever

+1, no doubt about it.

lolerskates

“SAY IM A STUPID BITCH”

wow

i went to sleep with grind on the mind.

lol, awesome

Haha, I got home from work hoping for one of these threads.


+1

[x] im like but you have big tits and can breast feed till the baby is old enough to eat spaghetti

i'm not poor or anything.. i eat a lot of spaghetti

2 fresh kidneys on the way, ka-ching
who needs punctuation when youre practically printing money like that