Did anyone else check there balls after this thread?

YOU'RE A BUMB!

OP confirmed dead yet?

Hahahahahahaha


OP, you should move to the U.S. as we give the bumbs their freedom to grow and smell like dumbsters without persecution; you'll fit right in.

I always make sure to put a condom on before entering this thread.

pics:

This thread delivers.

If she is calling you 23 times a day I think she gets that you don't want to see her again, maybe she has something important to tell you rewarding you genital situation, you should call her and ask...

good luck hope everything turns out alright

Fat girl tricked me, she called me from another phone, so I couldn't see it was her, she must be some kind of evil genius. She had called that many times yesterday, because I had promised we should spend the day together. Apparently I had said I would take her out sailing and that I would cook dinner for her. I had also told her several times that she was very beautiful and that she was just my kind of woman, arghhhhhhhhhhhhh! wtf have I done. I ofc don't want anything to do with her at all, so the best thing would be to come clean and tell her the truth. She told me that she had been crying all the day, because she didn't think I wanted to speak to her again. I can't handle crying women, I'll say anything to get them to stop, so like the idiot I am, I made up a story about my phone not working and being at a family dinner. I said that ofc I want to meet her again, but that I don't have time the next week because of work.

I want to find out if she have experienced weird things happening to her body, but I don't feel comfortable talking about my balls looking weird, so I start out telling her about the thing on my shoulder. She said I had been complaing about my shoulder itching and hurting all night. I don't remember saying that, but if she's right it means the shoulder bumb didn't come from her, or at least not from having sex with her, so that's a good thing I hope. Decide I have to tell her about my balls, if she has a disease she has to know about it, so she doesn't continue to rape innocent guys like me.
Turns out her vagina has been sore for a few weeks, and something about her menstruation that wasn't like it usually is. She didn't have any weird looking things on it like me though. Wtf, fat bitch vagina acting weird, and she still has sex knowing something could be wrong.

I'm definitely calling a doctor in the morning, and promised to call fat girl to tell her what I find out. The shoulder bumb has gotten bigger and is now the size of a golf ball, it's hard as stone and hurts like hell. The things on my balls looks the same as yesterday, but they have also gotten hard and hurts alot.

After speaking to her and finding out her vagina has been weird for a few weeks, I now think I got the things on my balls from her. The shoulder bumb most likely came from something in the barn, maybe something bit me, or an allergic reaction of some sort, but it's just a guess. If it turns out she's the reason I got this ****, I'm gonna use that as an excuse not to see her again. Get mad at her for having sex with me, when something about her vagina wasn't right. I'll act very offended and say I'll never see her again. Then I'm of the hook, and she thinks everything is her fault. Infact I may do that even if it's not her fault. I'll just lie and say she gave me a disease, she will ofc know I'm lying when she goes to see the doctor, but that buys me more time to come up with a new story.


Health update:

Scrotum: flotation devices on balls still looks weird and now hard as stone, color: white + red circle surrounding them – red circles got bigger than yesterday. Pain factor 7/10 (can't squeeze them without getting tears in my eyes, so I stopped doing that)

Thighs/ass: itching/shaking has stopped, taking dump issues: still hurts like hell maybe even more than yesterday, no matter how hard I squeeze it still feels like I'm peeing out of my ass. Pain factor 7/10 (friend told me that putting an ice cube in my ass will ease the pain a bit, probably not gonna try that)

Shoulder: bumb the size of golf ball now + hard as stone, hurts very much – thinking of puncturing with a needle again today, to take some pressure of it. Pain factor: 8/10

Fat bitch: spoke to her, lied and told her I still want to see her, said I had alot of work giving myself a week to come up with a new story, or be honest and tell her she's too ugly for me to be seen in public with. She now thinks I like her very much and intend to start a relationship with her. Pain factor: 17/10

You sir have only have 1 more thing to do: youtube vid of puncturing golf ball!

Still waiting for pics of fat hippo ITT

she probably laid eggs in you

i actually feel sick

why do i keep coming back to this thread

OP confirmed awesome. I'd be sprinting to an emergency room, OP is just making this thread. HAHAHAHA.

how have you STILL not gone to an emergency doctor, wtf is wrong with you, do you hate your health???

GL having genital warts btw

Lol, don't think "awesome" is the right word, "a fool" is probably more fitting. I have a strict policy not to see doctors or go to hospitals in my free time, I always go during work hours, because I still get paid and get a few hours away from work.

Trying to puncture bumb on shoulder, but it's really difficult. The bumb is so hard, that I had to use force to get the needle through the skin. I think I did it too aggressively cause when the skin finally broke, the needle went far to deep and I screamed like a little girl due to the pain. Only blood came out, it's like the yellow stuff that was liquid yesterday now looks more like jelly filled with chunks of rubber. I probably need a scalpel to make the hole big enough for it to come out.