Never started a thread in BBV before but thought this could give you a laugh.
Happened last night; Was at a homegame, nothing serious just friends having fun getting drunk, plan was to play, get drunk and go to a bar somewhere.
This is how I remember the evening:
7 friends and I meet to play poker/drink/party in a barn at one of my friends parents place. We drink and play poker. To my recollection we started out playing 1/2 and moved up to 5/10 at a point. I kept losing playing like the drunken fool I was. I remember my friends telling me to stop when I ran short on cash, but like the degen I am (when I'm drunk), I borrowed money only to continue my losing streak.
I do somewhat remember us taking a cap to a bar, and the cab having to stop so I could puke. The rest of the evening is a total blur, only thing I remember is losing my money in poker and that I must owe a friend some money.
I then wake up this morning with the worst hangover I remember ever having + an extreme pain in my balls. I staggered out of bet to go the bathroom, not even noticing the 240-300 pound hippo laying next to me in bet. I check my balls to see why they hurt so much and to my horror I see 2 weird bumbs***......I squeeze them a few times only to find my self in agony, but think to myself ”oh well I'll see doctor some time if they don't go away on their own”.
Go back to my bedroom and almost in shock discover the mountain of fat laying in my bed and now fully awake, telling me thanks for a great night.......Like every adult person I handled the situation in a mature way; sry but you have to leave now, I'm allready late for my paper route and have to hurry out the door, I'll call you later today (lol)
. She laughed a bit, but I insisted I was being serious and she left.
Waffle Edit: Next pic contains scrotum
What really happened:
I check my phone and see 4 unanswered calls from a friend. 1st thought is that he is the one I borrowed money from, so I call him up to find out what I owe. After he finished laughing he told me about the night. Like I allready knew I was very drunk, and up to a point I had lost and lost in poker and borrowed money like I remember. What I didn't remember was that I actually won close to 10k and that my friend had held the money for me, so I didn't lose/gamble it away in my drunkenness. What an amazing turn of events for me, thought I had wasted and owed lots of money when I woke up, now it turns out I'm 10k richer than last night. So happy about the news and that my friend was smart enough to take the money away from me, that I gave him half of it (almost 5k).
I then tell him about my sore scrotum, and he instantly says ”no wonder, the bitch you took home last night weight like 3 times you, she probably broke your dick”
. Turns out my friends had made several efforts to stop me from going home with her, but everytime they tried, I had just said something like; ”she's beautiful you are just jealous.....what's your problem can't you see she's hot.....I want her”
Thx for reading, could have gone into more detalis and made it more fun, but it would be too long to read, and you probably wouldn't care.
Brag: up 10k, thought I owed....
Beat: did fat girl, got weird scrotum bumbs to show for it.
Double beat: fat girl called 9 times and left 3 messages today. (ofc haven't answered)
Question: do I see a doctor about my sore a weird ball bumbs, o do I wait till I have sex with another girl, and then ask her if she got and sore/weird looking vagina afterwards?
Not her.....girl in pic looks hot compared..............